Showing posts with label crazies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazies. Show all posts

Friday, December 12, 2008

My Avatar Ate My Homework

Recently eaten: chipotle burrito
Recent annoyance: puddles

how times have changed. Back in they day people dropped out of college because they couldn't hack it, or drank themselves into oblivion. These kids today...what are they thinking?

FCC Terms World of Warcraft Leading Cause of College Dropouts (via DCist)
With the explosion of educational resources available online, one might think parents would be 100% pleased with the internet’s role in their children’s lives. But surveys show just the opposite: a late 2006 survey that showed 59% of parents think the internet has been a totally positive influence in their children’s lives-- down from 67% in 2004.

You might find it alarming that one of the top reasons for college drop-outs in the U.S. is online gaming addiction - such as World of Warcraft - which is played by 11 million individuals worldwide.

"Hey Prof, I'm too busy slaying creatures to take this prelim. Thanks for understanding."

Friday, December 05, 2008

The Holiday Spirit

Recently eaten: vegetable tempura
Recent annoyance: itchy pants

What says the holiday spirit more than holiday decorations on your lawn? I'd say having to fend off a knife-wielding neighbor with said lawn ornaments during the holidays.

Man uses candy cane to subdue attacker with knife (via Yahoo)
A man using a candy cane lawn ornament fended off a knife-wielding neighbor who had been attacking holiday guests at a Sacramento home. Police spokesman Sgt. Norm Leong said the man used the two-foot-tall plastic ornament to subdue the attacker until officers arrived.

He said the 49-year-old suspect became intoxicated, went over to a neighbor's home on Thanksgiving and began waving a kitchen knife at people gathered on the lawn.

"Santa pities the fool"

Monday, November 03, 2008

Poo Poo Platter

Recently eaten: tilapia
Recent annoyance: my next door neighbor moves all of his trash outside of his apartment door at midnight every weekend

I don't really know if there is anything clever or witty to say about this incident. Except that people in Australia take football very seriously.

Pub row erupts after feces found in ice cream (Yahoo)
A bitter row has broken out between one of Sydney's largest tourist pubs and a family of five who accused chefs of serving human excrement in their gelato after they complained about noise during a football match.

State government food minister Ian Macdonald confirmed on Wednesday that frozen fecal matter had been found in a serving of chocolate gelato offered to placate pub patron Steve Whyte and his wife Jessica, who became "violently ill" after eating it.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

The Truth Hurts Sometimes

Recently eaten: salad with walnuts and blue cheese
Recent annoyance: if the gorillas were hiding, what else could be squirreled away?

Sometimes the truth is hard to swallow, especially when you spent all your money in a slot machine. Come on buddy, at least try out the $5 blackjack table. I predict the next 911 phone call to be about the empty shrimp plate at the buffet.

Man tell 911 slot machine stole his money
(Yahoo News)
second Florida man has been arrested on charges of making false 911 calls in as many days. An arrest report says 47-year-old Carlos Gutierrez was at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino early Monday and called 911 to say the slot machine stole his money. The report says Gutierrez left the casino to place a second 911 call to say the same thing.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I Am Rubber, You Are Glue...No, Wait

Recently eaten: pork belly
Recent annoyance: if everyone books the early morning appointments, how am I supposed to get one?

Why isn't it ever some bow-tie-wearing, O'Reilly-watching crazy that tries stuff like this? You're giving us a bad name, buddy.

Climate protester tries to glue himself to Brown (Yahoo News)
A climate change protester unsuccessfully tried to superglue himself to Prime Minister Gordon Brown at an event in the leader's residence, a government spokesman said Tuesday.

Dan Glass, a 24-year-old member of Plane Stupid, which campaigns against airport expansion, tried to attach himself to Brown's suit as he was about to shake hands with the premier at his Downing Street residence.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Most Obvious Headline Award

Recently eaten: cornbread stuffing
Recent annoyance: why don't they just make pants in "shorty midget" size for the rest of us who don' have legs growing out of our necks?

This is sort of like reading the headline, "Frenchie snickers at Americans on holiday in Paris," or "Dane goes to barber and gets emo bangs."

Spaniard gored in San Fermin festival bull run (Yahoo News)
he running of the bulls through Pamplona on Tuesday left one man gored and four slightly injured during the annual San Fermin festival, the Spanish Red Cross said.

Hundreds of people and six fighting bulls, accompanied by steer, sprinted the half-mile (850-meter) route through cobblestone streets in just over two minutes, a relatively clean and fast run by San Fermin standards.

One Spaniard was gored in the thigh and treated at a city hospital, but was not in serious condition, the Red Cross said. Four other Spaniards were treated for bruises.

The first run on Monday took over four minutes and injured 13 people. None of them were gored.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Melon-choly

Recently eaten: dry roasted almonds
Recent annoyance: dripping ceiling

My mom used to tell me that if I swallowed the seeds from a watermelon, a watermelon plant would grow out the top of my head. This doesn't have anything to do with the melon story below, just that my mom used to tell me terrifying stories.

Japanese melon sells for more than $6,000 (CNN)
There's nothing better than a sweet, juicy watermelon on a hot summer's day, right?

A marine products dealer in Japan plunked down a record $6,125 for this melon.

But what if you had to pay six grand for it?

A marine products dealer in Japan plunked down a record $6,125 (¥650,000) Friday for a black Densuke watermelon -- grown only on the northern Japanese island of Hokkaido.

Premium melons regularly go for eye-popping amounts there. Only three years ago, someone shelled out about $3,000 for one.

The one that sold Friday had dark green skin -- nearly black -- making it look more like a bowling ball than a fruit.

The nearly 18-pound (8 kg) watermelon, grown only on Hokkaido, was one of 68 sold as part of the season's initial harvest this year and is one of only a few thousand available each year.

As for the buyer, he said he wanted to support local agriculture, according to an official with a local cooperative.


Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Preparation H-ott

Recently eaten: tunafish
Recent annoyance: brown bananas

For those of you who aren't into the club scene like I am, you don't have to go to the gym to get those chiseled pecs...just slather on some Preparation H instead. not sure what the side effects are, but they're probably hilarious and terrifying.

Preparation H: "It gets you shredded" (Consumerist)

Not Exactly the X-Files Movie

Recently eaten: fuji apple
Recent annoyance: scabs

I seriously think this is straight out of an episode of the X-Files. The guy that's been abducted multiple times finally gets some evidence of his abductors. Or, maybe he's just a loony who is very crafty. Or, maybe this is an outtake from M. Night Shymalan's new film?
(The re-enactment video on Larry King is killer stuff)

Alien video: puppet or real? (Denver Post)
A few minutes of grainy, black and white video show a shadowy creature with big eyes peeping over a windowsill. But does it show a puppet or an alien from outer space?

The video, purportedly capturing proof of alien life, was released this morning during a press conference at the Tivoli Student Union on the Auraria campus in downtown Denver.

Over the course of three minutes or so, the footage shows a white creature with a balloon-shaped head that keeps popping up and down in a windowsill that was 8 feet above ground. The face was white, with large black eyes that seemed to blink.

"If it was a puppet, it would be a very elaborate and sophisticated puppet," said Alejandro Rojas, education director of MUFON, the Mutual UFO Network,who spoke at the press conference.

Rojas said the video was taken on July 17, 2003, in Nebraska by Stan Tiger Romanek, who set up the camera because he thought peeping Toms had been looking into his house at his two teenage daughters. Romanek did not appear at the news conference.

The creature would slowly pop its head up and peer through the window then drop suddenly down, apparently trying to avoid detection. It raised its head up about a half dozen times. The alien's other body parts were not visible.

It was unclear whether the creature was taller than 8 feet and was crouching to avoid detection or whether it was standing on something. It also was difficult, because of the faintness of the object, to tell whether it was three dimensional.

Romanek, who moved to Colorado after the recording, claims to have had more than 100 encounters with aliens, Rojas said.

"I'm an alien, deal with it"

Monday, June 02, 2008

This Ain't Your R, Kelly Video

Recently eaten: asiago bagel
Recent annoyance: bums who pee on the bus

This "in-the-closet" story refers neither to LGBTQ issues or the latest installment of R. Kelly's music video hip-hopera. We're talking about full-on gremlins in your closet...stealing your food...and living undetected. I am kind of okay with this lady living up in my closet if she picks up around the house while I am gone.

Japanese woman caught living in man's closet (Yahoo News)
A homeless woman who sneaked into a man's house and lived undetected in his closet for a year was arrested in Japan after he became suspicious when food mysteriously began disappearing.

Police found the 58-year-old woman Thursday hiding in the top compartment of the man's closet and arrested her for trespassing, police spokesman Hiroki Itakura from southern Kasuya town said Friday.

The resident of the home installed security cameras that transmitted images to his mobile phone after becoming puzzled by food disappearing from his kitchen over the past several months.

One of the cameras captured someone moving inside his home Thursday after he had left, and he called police believing it was a burglar. However, when they arrived they found the door locked and all windows closed.

"We searched the house ... checking everywhere someone could possibly hide," Itakura said. "When we slid open the shelf closet, there she was, nervously curled up on her side."

The woman told police she had no place to live and first sneaked into the man's house about a year ago when he left it unlocked.

She had moved a mattress into the small closet space and even took showers, Itakura said, calling the woman "neat and clean."

"Closets, lies and videotape"

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

No Love For Shopping Pirates

Recently eaten: pesto tortellini
Recent annoyance: lukewarm AC

It's a good thing I didn't join that WAKA kickball team, Bazooka Joe's.

Man arrested in NYC Macy's for carrying sword
A man who was carrying a rusted pirate-style sword through Macy's flagship store in Manhattan is facing charges of criminal possession of a weapon.

Police say 29-year-old Lawrence Jackson was brandishing the curved sword while visiting Macy's Herald Square store Sunday with his girlfriend.

He told police he was carrying the sword because he is a member of a kickball team whose players often wear pirate-themed costumes. He maintains he was on his way to a game when he was arrested.

"...and, booty, YAR!"

Monday, May 05, 2008

Beerly Departed

Recently eaten: red snapper
Recent annoyance: people who do not move to the back of the bus (for space efficiency, not racially-motivated reasons)

Not only will this guy be buried in a beer can, he will be buried in a PBR can coffin. I hope his grieving widow doesn't try to "shotgun" the coffin. People get upset when the body shoots out.

Illinois man orders custom beer-can coffin

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Light A Match!

Recently eaten: oysters
Recent annoyance: the distinct and nagging feeling that I have forgotten to pay an web bill

Kind of makes me wonder if this started innocently as some little quarrel. woman says "no, I won't get up off the toilet and you can't make me." So the guy says, "fine, stay there for all I care." And, two years later, the stubbornest woman alive...

Woman sits on boyfriend's toilet for 2 years

NESS CITY, Kan. - Deputies said a woman in western Kansas sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years, and they're investigating whether she was mistreated.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said a man called his office last month to report that something was wrong with his girlfriend.

Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman’s skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

“We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.

“She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body,” Whipple said. “It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself.”

He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

“And her reply would be, ‘Maybe tomorrow,”’ Whipple said. “According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.”

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

As Clear As Day

Recently eaten: plato zapoteca from mixtec
Recent annoyance: no screens on my windows

So this cricket player won't face any charges related to him knocking over a streaker than ran straight for him during a match. The best explanation for this in the article was,
"Andrew was in the zone and was severely threatened." Why do these things only happen in European sports leagues?

Symonds to face no action for knocking over streaker

Admit it, the butt is funny.

Monday, January 28, 2008

The Right Stuff

Recently eaten: shrimp and mushroom lo mein (homemade)
Recent annoyance: the CFL bulb in my desk lamp burned out

So, did you think I wouldn't report on this important and breaking news? Of all the things that make me a Bostonian -- loving the Pats and the Sox, eating scrod, complaining about the weather -- the New Kids is my last and best hope for immortality.

Yup, they're getting back together.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

End of Days

Recently eaten: red snapper
Recent annoyance: tea apparently causes kidney stones

I had a mashup dream last night. Number 1: the whole thing was in Spanish. But not even real Spanish, the horrible Spanish that I speak now. Number 2: I was getting married. To some random dude even though I was supposedly in love with someone else. And Number 3: I had amnesia so I couldn't even remember who I was marrying.

As a side note, I would like to purchase one of these.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

I'll Be Watching You

Recently eaten: rotisserie chicken
Recent annoyance: 90 degrees in October

At what point can I say that my landlord has disappeared, or am I just being paranoid. Let us revisit the facts:

1. No contact for at least 2 months
2. No rent checks have been cashed
3. No movement on switching the electricity bill

I'm no Columbo, but something seems to be wrong here. If anything, why haven't our rent checks been cashed. BTW, I am hoping there is something in the DC Tenants' Bill of rights that says check uncashed after 45 days are forfeited by the landlord.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Smell Like Cabbage

Recently eaten: white anchovies on toast
Recent annoyance: people who cannot follow directions

What better way to kick off the weekend than with pictures of carneys at the LA County Fair. I am sure carneys are just like you and me, regular old cabbagey-smelling, scheisters waiting to prey on you and your family at every turn. Yep, just like you and me.

Los Angeles County Fair

Pictures from the fair.

And, finally, The Can You Hear Me Now Guy was designed to invade your brain.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Recently eaten: chicken burrito
Recent annoyance: Comcast support service which doesn't actually provide a service...this is why I steal cable!

Blah. Just when I think I've had enough of people and work and the world, there are stories like this that affirm that there are crazier crazies out there. And, after seeing their little plan, I've decided to just stay where I am.

This couple is actually going to live in a van down by the river



Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Out of Body, Out of Mind

Recently eaten: stir fry
Recent annoyance: I have gone almost the entire summer without being attacked by mosquitoes, but after this past weekend, I now have 7 new bites

The basis for this research seems to originate from the movie Office Space when Peter asks the therapist to put some voodoo on him so that he doesn't know he's at work when he's actually in the office. Basically that's what the Swiss have got going here.

Out-of-body experience recreated
Experts have found a way to trigger an out-of-body experience in volunteers.

The experiments, described in the Science journal, offer a scientific explanation for a phenomenon experienced by one in 10 people.

Two teams used virtual reality goggles to con the brain into thinking the body was located elsewhere.

The visual illusion plus the feel of their real bodies being touched made volunteers sense that they had moved outside of their physical bodies.

The researchers say their findings could have practical applications, such as helping take video games to the next level of virtuality so the players feel as if they are actually inside the game.

Clinically, surgeons might also be able to perform operations on patients thousands of miles away by controlling a robotic virtual self.

Teleported

For some, out-of-body experiences or OBEs occurs spontaneously, while for others it is linked to dangerous circumstances, a near-death experience, a dream-like state or use of alcohol or drugs.

One theory is that it is down to how people perceive their own body - those unhappy or less in touch with their body are more likely to have an OBE.

But the two teams, from University College London, UK, and the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Lausanne, believe there is a neurological explanation.

Their work suggests a disconnection between the brain circuits that process visual and touch sensory information may thus be responsible for some OBEs.

In the Swiss experiments, the researchers asked volunteers to stand in front of a camera while wearing video-display goggles.


Through these goggles, the volunteers could see a camera view of their own back - a three-dimensional "virtual own body" that appeared to be standing in front of them.

When the researchers stroked the back of the volunteer with a pen, the volunteer could see their virtual back being stroked either simultaneously or with a time lag.

The volunteers reported that the sensation seemed to be caused by the pen on their virtual back, rather than their real back, making them feel as if the virtual body was their own rather than a hologram.

Volunteers

Even when the camera was switched to film the back of a mannequin being stroked rather than their own back, the volunteers still reported feeling as if the virtual mannequin body was their own.

And when the researchers switched off the goggles, guided the volunteers back a few paces, and then asked them to walk back to where they had been standing, the volunteers overshot the target, returning nearer to the position of their "virtual self".

Dr Henrik Ehrsson, who led the UCL research, used a similar set-up in his tests and found volunteers had a physiological response - increased skin sweating - when they felt their virtual self was being threatened - appearing to be hit with a hammer.

Dr Ehrsson said: "This experiment suggests that the first-person visual perspective is critically important for the in-body experience. In other words, we feel that our self is located where the eyes are."

Dr Susan Blackmore, psychologist and visiting lecturer at the University of the West of England, said: "This has at last brought OBEs into the lab and tested one of the main theories of how they occur.

"Scientists have long suspected that the clue to these extraordinary, and sometimes life-changing, experiences lies in disrupting our normal illusion of being a self behind our eyes, and replacing it with a new viewpoint from above or behind."