Showing posts with label outer space. Show all posts
Showing posts with label outer space. Show all posts

Friday, December 12, 2008

My Avatar Ate My Homework

Recently eaten: chipotle burrito
Recent annoyance: puddles

how times have changed. Back in they day people dropped out of college because they couldn't hack it, or drank themselves into oblivion. These kids today...what are they thinking?

FCC Terms World of Warcraft Leading Cause of College Dropouts (via DCist)
With the explosion of educational resources available online, one might think parents would be 100% pleased with the internet’s role in their children’s lives. But surveys show just the opposite: a late 2006 survey that showed 59% of parents think the internet has been a totally positive influence in their children’s lives-- down from 67% in 2004.

You might find it alarming that one of the top reasons for college drop-outs in the U.S. is online gaming addiction - such as World of Warcraft - which is played by 11 million individuals worldwide.

"Hey Prof, I'm too busy slaying creatures to take this prelim. Thanks for understanding."

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Is Mulder on Speed Dial?

Recently eaten: peanut butter and jelly
Recent annoyance: everything can be Googled

I'm pretty sure this was an episode of X-Files, or at least some part of a subplot in the movie. This is how all the episodes started out, "Location: Iranian tanker off the east coast of Africa." And then there's people shouting in another language and then they all end up dead the next day. Pan to shot of mysterious cargo container with strange black ooze coming from the cracks. Fade to creepy theme song.

Mysterious cargo on Iranian tanker kills Somali pirates (via BoingBoing)
Somali pirates who hijacked an Iranian shipping vessel said to be carrying either "minerals" or "small arms and chemical weapons" have, en masse, fallen ill with a mysterious disease. The head of the East African Seafarers' Assistance Programme has been threatened with a lawsuit by the Iranian government for issuing spooky statements to the press to the effect that there was some kind of evil "chemicals" on the ship.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Smashy Smashy Makes The World Go Round

Recently eaten: crab dip
Recent annoyance: the non-retirement retirement - if you;re going to retire, then just stay retired (ahem, I am talking to you Lance Armstrong and Jay-Z)

People, people, let's not panic about a giant atom collider creating a black hole and swallowing up the Earth. This is clearly just a ruse to distract us from the Japanese controlling the weather.

Scientists cheer atom smasher success (CNN)
Scientists Wednesday applauded as one of the most ambitious experiments ever conceived got successfully underway, with protons being fired around a 27-kilometer (17-mile) tunnel deep beneath the border of France and Switzerland in an attempt to unlock the secrets of the universe.

The Large Hadron Collider -- a $9 billion particle accelerator designed to simulate conditions of the Big Bang that created the physical Universe -- was switched on at 0732 GMT to cheers and applause from experts gathered to witness the event.

While observers were left nonplussed by the anticlimactic flashing dots on a TV screen that signalled the machine's successful test run, among teams of scientists involved around the world there were jubilant celebrations and popping champagne corks.

In the coming months, the collider is expected to begin smashing particles into each other by sending two beams of protons around the tunnel in opposite directions.

Skeptics, who claim that the experiment could lead to the creation of a black hole capable of swallowing the planet, failed in a legal bid to halt the project at CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research.

"It says here: Insert tab A into slot B"

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Are You There, Mulder and Scully? It's Me, Phoebe

Recently eaten: white anchovies and chicken liver pate
Recent annoyance: metro stations that aren't air-conditioned (U Street-Cardozo, I'm referring to you!)

I admit that I am huge X-Files nerd. It's not even really an admission. That would imply that I've been hiding this predilection for all things spooky and paranormal. Or, at least for heavily photoshopped images.

Frank Spotnitz on the X-Files Essentials (Fortean Times)

Monday, June 16, 2008

To Add Insult to Injury

Recently eaten: bulgogi
Recent annoyance: wrenched back

Man, imagine if you got demoted at work and had to be renamed "Good-for-Nothing." Or maybe you'd just have to wear a dunce cap.

Pluto gets a new name: plutoid (Yahoo)
Pluto, demoted from planet status in 2006, got a consolation prize on Wednesday -- it and other dwarf planets like it will be called plutoids.

The International Astronomical Union said in a statement that its executive committee meeting in Oslo, Norway, decided on the term.

Plutoids will be defined as celestial bodies in orbit around the Sun farther away than Neptune. They must have near-spherical shape, and must not have swept up other, smaller objects in their orbits, said the organization, which names newly discovered planets and other celestial bodies.

The two known and named plutoids are Pluto and Eris, but astronomers expect to find more.

Another dwarf planet, Ceres, does not merit the plutoid designation because it is in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Not Exactly the X-Files Movie

Recently eaten: fuji apple
Recent annoyance: scabs

I seriously think this is straight out of an episode of the X-Files. The guy that's been abducted multiple times finally gets some evidence of his abductors. Or, maybe he's just a loony who is very crafty. Or, maybe this is an outtake from M. Night Shymalan's new film?
(The re-enactment video on Larry King is killer stuff)

Alien video: puppet or real? (Denver Post)
A few minutes of grainy, black and white video show a shadowy creature with big eyes peeping over a windowsill. But does it show a puppet or an alien from outer space?

The video, purportedly capturing proof of alien life, was released this morning during a press conference at the Tivoli Student Union on the Auraria campus in downtown Denver.

Over the course of three minutes or so, the footage shows a white creature with a balloon-shaped head that keeps popping up and down in a windowsill that was 8 feet above ground. The face was white, with large black eyes that seemed to blink.

"If it was a puppet, it would be a very elaborate and sophisticated puppet," said Alejandro Rojas, education director of MUFON, the Mutual UFO Network,who spoke at the press conference.

Rojas said the video was taken on July 17, 2003, in Nebraska by Stan Tiger Romanek, who set up the camera because he thought peeping Toms had been looking into his house at his two teenage daughters. Romanek did not appear at the news conference.

The creature would slowly pop its head up and peer through the window then drop suddenly down, apparently trying to avoid detection. It raised its head up about a half dozen times. The alien's other body parts were not visible.

It was unclear whether the creature was taller than 8 feet and was crouching to avoid detection or whether it was standing on something. It also was difficult, because of the faintness of the object, to tell whether it was three dimensional.

Romanek, who moved to Colorado after the recording, claims to have had more than 100 encounters with aliens, Rojas said.

"I'm an alien, deal with it"

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Clearly

Recently eaten: turkey club
Recent annoyance:

This guy's house was hit by five meteorites and now he thinks aliens are targeting him. I'd like to think that aliens could do more than just throw some stones at some guy's house in Bosnia. Or maybe they're just those mischievous, yet lovable rapscallion aliens.

Man 'targeted' by aliens

Mork says: "I come in peace"

Friday, March 21, 2008

I Accept You, My New Robot Overlords

And, just because it's Friday...

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Piglight

Recently eaten: oatmeal...bleh
Recent annoyance: the constant state of gravy in which my cholesterol can be found

If China thought the Olympics might be a PR nightmare, isn't this flourescent pig a close second? As if the Chinese aren't already zodiac crazy, now we're touting the glow-in-the-dark pig family? They're just going to be made into some tasty glowing dish anyway.

China rings out year of flourescent green pig
A fluorescent green Chinese pig has given birth to two piglets which share their mother's transgenic characteristic after she mated with an ordinary pig, state media said.

The mother sow is one of the three fluorescent green pigs successfully bred by a research team in December 2006 after they injected fluorescent green protein into pig embryos.

"The mouths, trotters and tongues of the two piglets glow green under ultraviolet light, which indicates the technology to breed transgenic pigs via cell nuclear transfer is mature," Liu Zhonghua, a professor at Northeast Agricultural University in Harbin, capital of Heilongjiang province, was quoted as saying.

She produced 11 piglets on Monday but so far only two of them had inherited the fluorescent feature.

"This technology promises to breed excellent transgenic pigs and even raise special pigs to provide organs for human transplant operations in the future," Liu was quoted as saying.

Chinese scientists bred the pigs using somatic cell nuclear transfer technology following similar successes in the United States, South Korea and Japan.

China celebrates the start of the Year of the Rat in February, drawing a close to the Year of the Pig.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Book Me Baby, One More Time

Recently eaten: coconut and tapioca dessert
Recent annoyance: jet lag coupled with Daylight Savings

Well, we are officially in Hong Kong. The Mom and I started our adventure on Saturday morning. Due to a nor'easter churning off of Cape Cod, our flight from Boston to NY was canceled. My mom pretty much lost it that point when I told her there were no other flights that Delta could offer that would get us to our connecting flight. Thankfully, her daughter has entered the 21st century and purchased a laptop. I was prepared to just book another one way ticket for us to NY to get on our flight. And in fine Dad tradition through this utter chaos, my father was busy preparing a 5 course breakfast for us before we left for the airport. he was appalled that we even mentioned we might grab something when we got there.
As luck would have it, my parents did not have any internet.Furthermore, all the digital cable purveyors in my enlightened hometown had secured their wireless networks. I was shut out.

No worry, I got the phone and called M. I very rudely woke him up and demanded that he play ticket agent for us. Luckily, he is a terrible insomniac, and was probably just mulling over his latest strategy to beat the 12-year olds playing Battlefield Earth online. He was able to secure the Mom and I 2 one way tickets on JetBlue to NYC. Might I add, though for no perks or flight upgrades in return, JetBlue is a great airline so far as I can tell.

So, we make it to NYC relatively problem-free and have about 5 hours until our flight leaves direct to Hong Kong. Since we are so early, they aren't even checking in general boarding, but the Mom and I wander up to the counter anyway. The ticket agent, perhaps taking pity on us because we looked a little rag tag, or amused to find a mother and daughter so similar in resemblance and mannerisms that he gave us 2 free passes to the First Class Lounge. The Mom and I, both skeptics at heart, decide that these vouchers are probably only good for a coffee or a diet coke, so we opt to eat at McDonald's. It's typical conversation, I mention something about my cholesterol, the Mom tells me not to worry about it too much between mouthfuls of french fries and she laughs through yet another unfunny story of her falling down on the sidewalk.

We walk into the First Class Lounge like a couple of teenagers sneaking in an R rated theater. We pull out every piece of documentation we own, and I give my mother a look to pretend we don't speak English if we don't get in. To our surprise, we are waved in. The lounge is like some utopia for the privileged frequent fliers and business class folks. While the rest of us plebes have to be herded into the gate area and knock elbows jockeying for a space at the front of the line with a carry-on that is just barely small enough to be considered carry-on.

The Mom and I remark on the presence of cup-o-noodles, a family favorite, and laugh at the weary travelers snoring away on comfy looking recliners. Knowing we had a 15 hour flight in front of us, the small luxury was welcome and probably kept us from killing each other. I asked my mom about Chinese people and traveling.

  • Why do Chinese people especially bring their own food in containers on planes or anywhere, even if they are going to get Chinese food? (I asked this just moments after a woman had tried to sneak through an entire, unopened jar of chili-garlic sauce, and an old lady was switching her rice porridge from one tupperware to another in the ladies restroom.) My Mom shrugged at the question, and suggested that Chinese people really like to have their own food and eat their food they way they like to prepare it. I was hoping for a meatier answer, like American food is laced with all sorts of strange mind-control chemicals.
The flight was uneventful. A baby cried the entire way through, this old lady kept getting her special meal before everyone else to coincide with her medication times, and the Mom kept losing the foam pads on her cheap airline headphones so we'd fish around for them until I was sweaty in my seat.

We tour around a bit tomorrow and then we are off to mainland China on Tuesday. I hope to have pics in the next post.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Humans 3.0

Recently eaten: cheese tortellini
Recent annoyance: nothing so far, I am still high from the Red Sox winning the WORLD SERIES!

Sometimes I see people on TV like the criminals on Cops or Britney Spears and I already think that they are part of a different species. I, for one, embrace the dim-witted goblins that are our genetic brethren. I am tired of taking out my own garbage.

This article also includes some kick-a$$ pictures.

Human race will split into two different species
The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.

100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed.

The alarming prediction comes from evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who say

These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years.

"Physical features will be driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility that men and women have evolved to look for in potential mates," says the report, which suggests that advances in cosmetic surgery and other body modifying techniques will effectively homogenise our appearance.

Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises, according to Curry in a report commissioned for men's satellite TV channel Bravo.

Women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes and pert breasts, according to Curry.

Racial differences will be a thing of the past as interbreeding produces a single coffee-coloured skin tone.

The future for our descendants isn't all long life, perfect bodies and chiselled features, however.

While humans will reach their peak in 1000 years' time, 10,000 years later our reliance on technology will have begun to dramatically change our appearance.

Medicine will weaken our immune system and we will begin to appear more child-like.

Dr Curry said: "The report suggests that the future of man will be a story of the good, the bad and the ugly.

"While science and technology have the potential to create an ideal habitat for humanity over the next millennium, there is the possibility of a monumental genetic hangover over the subsequent millennia due to an over-reliance on technology reducing our natural capacity to resist disease, or our evolved ability to get along with each other.

"After that, things could get ugly, with the possible emergence of genetic 'haves' and 'have-nots'."

Dr Curry's theory may strike a chord with readers who have read H G Wells' classic novel The Time Machine, in particular his descriptions of the Eloi and the Morlock races.

In the 1895 book, the human race has evolved into two distinct species, the highly intelligent and wealthy Eloi and the frightening, animalistic Morlock who are destined to work underground to keep the Eloi happy.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Butler Did It

Recently eaten: 2 taco combo
Recent annoyance: sometimes my Google-fu fails me

I kind of like these theories. They make me more paranoid. I don't think I'm paranoid enough on the grand scale. I am plenty paranoid about birds, children, and dark alleys, but I don't have that X-Files paranoia. I'm sure someone in the FBI is noting this all down.

World's Weirdest Conspiracy Theories

  • The driver shot JFK. (the late William Cooper)
  • The Beatles were designed and sent to the U.S. by the British Psychological Warfare Division, to undermine the morals of American teenagers. (Lyndon LaRouche)
  • Man never landed on the moon. It's not even possible. But there is an alien base there. (see Wikipedia; for an artful and very funny parody of how these theories can be patched together from unrelated material, watch the mockumentary Dark Side of the Moon)
  • Stephen King killed John Lennon. (Steve Lightfoot)
  • WWII was staged. It never really happened. The Illuminati employed elaborate special effects, stage magic, and phony journalism to scare the world into pacifism. (Donald Holmes)
  • Queen Elizabeth I was a man. The real Elizabeth died as a child.
  • The doomed Franklin Expedition was sent to the Arctic not only to find the Northwest Passage, but to secretly investigate UFO sightings that had been reported since the 1700s. The men were captured, experimented upon, and eaten by giant aliens. (Jeffrey Blair Latta)
  • Hitler and some associates escaped to the Arctic in a submarine, to live with super-advanced aliens who reside within the hollow earth. (This story originated with Edward Bulwer-Lytton's novel The Coming Race, was treated as fact by the pre-Nazi Vril Society, was bolstered by the forged "secret diary" of Admiral Byrd, and was adopted by the likes of Ernst Zundel)
  • Denver International Airport was built expressly to conceal a vast underground complex, headquarters of the New World Order elite. Clues are hidden in the airport's peace-themed mural.
  • esuits sank the Titanic to kill some of the world's richest, most powerful Jews.
  • The early Middle Ages (614-911 A.D.) never occurred. Everything that supposedly happened during those years was either a misunderstanding, an event from a different era, or an outright lie - Charlemagne, for instance, is a fictional figure. And we are actually living in the 1700s. (Herbert Illig's phantom time hypothesis)
  • Aspartame, flouride, genetically modified foods, and vaccines are used specifically to keep us sick and open to suggestion, and/or as part of a secret depopulation plan designed by the world's elite.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Smell Like Cabbage

Recently eaten: white anchovies on toast
Recent annoyance: people who cannot follow directions

What better way to kick off the weekend than with pictures of carneys at the LA County Fair. I am sure carneys are just like you and me, regular old cabbagey-smelling, scheisters waiting to prey on you and your family at every turn. Yep, just like you and me.

Los Angeles County Fair

Pictures from the fair.

And, finally, The Can You Hear Me Now Guy was designed to invade your brain.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Out of Body, Out of Mind

Recently eaten: stir fry
Recent annoyance: I have gone almost the entire summer without being attacked by mosquitoes, but after this past weekend, I now have 7 new bites

The basis for this research seems to originate from the movie Office Space when Peter asks the therapist to put some voodoo on him so that he doesn't know he's at work when he's actually in the office. Basically that's what the Swiss have got going here.

Out-of-body experience recreated
Experts have found a way to trigger an out-of-body experience in volunteers.

The experiments, described in the Science journal, offer a scientific explanation for a phenomenon experienced by one in 10 people.

Two teams used virtual reality goggles to con the brain into thinking the body was located elsewhere.

The visual illusion plus the feel of their real bodies being touched made volunteers sense that they had moved outside of their physical bodies.

The researchers say their findings could have practical applications, such as helping take video games to the next level of virtuality so the players feel as if they are actually inside the game.

Clinically, surgeons might also be able to perform operations on patients thousands of miles away by controlling a robotic virtual self.

Teleported

For some, out-of-body experiences or OBEs occurs spontaneously, while for others it is linked to dangerous circumstances, a near-death experience, a dream-like state or use of alcohol or drugs.

One theory is that it is down to how people perceive their own body - those unhappy or less in touch with their body are more likely to have an OBE.

But the two teams, from University College London, UK, and the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Lausanne, believe there is a neurological explanation.

Their work suggests a disconnection between the brain circuits that process visual and touch sensory information may thus be responsible for some OBEs.

In the Swiss experiments, the researchers asked volunteers to stand in front of a camera while wearing video-display goggles.


Through these goggles, the volunteers could see a camera view of their own back - a three-dimensional "virtual own body" that appeared to be standing in front of them.

When the researchers stroked the back of the volunteer with a pen, the volunteer could see their virtual back being stroked either simultaneously or with a time lag.

The volunteers reported that the sensation seemed to be caused by the pen on their virtual back, rather than their real back, making them feel as if the virtual body was their own rather than a hologram.

Volunteers

Even when the camera was switched to film the back of a mannequin being stroked rather than their own back, the volunteers still reported feeling as if the virtual mannequin body was their own.

And when the researchers switched off the goggles, guided the volunteers back a few paces, and then asked them to walk back to where they had been standing, the volunteers overshot the target, returning nearer to the position of their "virtual self".

Dr Henrik Ehrsson, who led the UCL research, used a similar set-up in his tests and found volunteers had a physiological response - increased skin sweating - when they felt their virtual self was being threatened - appearing to be hit with a hammer.

Dr Ehrsson said: "This experiment suggests that the first-person visual perspective is critically important for the in-body experience. In other words, we feel that our self is located where the eyes are."

Dr Susan Blackmore, psychologist and visiting lecturer at the University of the West of England, said: "This has at last brought OBEs into the lab and tested one of the main theories of how they occur.

"Scientists have long suspected that the clue to these extraordinary, and sometimes life-changing, experiences lies in disrupting our normal illusion of being a self behind our eyes, and replacing it with a new viewpoint from above or behind."

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Rock the Goat

Recently eaten: burrito
Recent annoyance: my completely uninterested ants

Pickings are slim during the summer for silly news items. I mean, at least for the news items that aren't silly in a sadly ironic way like disgraced Congressman, or things and people getting blowed up. So, in the meantime, here is a six horned goat from China which I am sure is a sign of their impending nuclear catastrophe.


Monday, August 27, 2007

Not Old For The Earth

Recently eaten: italian sub
Recent annoyance: the cable who did come between 9-12 but came at 11:58...you win this time, Comcast.

Another birthday rolls around and I get crankier by the minute. It's really that everyone else is getting more annoying. It's relative really.

For those of you wondering what to get the girl that hates everything, this could really come in handy.

And, finally, this is what I would like etched on my gravestone:

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Never Look a Gift Nectarine in the Mouth

Recently eaten: grilled cheese
Recent annoyance: one sticky contact lens

This morning I arrived at my desk to find a nectarine on it. not just any nectarine, but a fragrant, perfectly ripe one. At first, I figured an absent-minded coworker had come in to my office and left his/her fruit on my desk. Then I noticed a nectarine on Daniel's desk too. Where did these mysterious fruits come from?

No matter, I ate it, so if it was poisoned, woe is me.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Prime Rib

Recently eaten: santa fe chicken pizza
Recent annoyance: pulling a muscle I never knew existed

Well, in these dog days of summer, nothing interesting is happening except juvenile delinquency and melting ice cream. On a brighter note, the new Transformers movie is so kick-ass, I may never be able to sit down again.

Here is a funny McSweeney's piece about Optimus Prime.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Whippet Good

Recently eaten: spaghetti, baked zucchini
Recent annoyance: can't get free wifi signal anymore...boo

This poor little dog looks like she was shot up with growth hormone. She kind of looks like she could move a car out of a ditch without a tow truck. I might be on to something here. I wonder if they would let her race in the Iditarod.

Big Wendy, the Muscular Whippet
People mistake her for a pitbull with a pinhead, but Wendy the whippet is one rare breed.

So rare that the Central Saanich dog recently graced the New York Times. She also had several of her photos shown on The Today Show, all because of a rare genetic mutation that has led to her being the Incredible Hulk of dogs.

Wendy is a 27-kilogram rippling mass of muscle. Forget the so-called six-pack stomach: Wendy has a 24-pack. And the muscles around her neck are so thick, they look like a lion's ruff.

"People have referred to her as Arnold Schwarzenegger," says doting owner Ingrid Hansen, stroking Wendy's sleek black coat and white chest.

Wendy was recently part of a genetics study done in the U.S. on mutation in the myostatin gene in whippets, which resemble greyhounds in appearance. The National Institute of Health study reported that whippets with one single defective copy of the gene have increased muscle mass that can enhance racing performance in the breed, known for speeds up to 60 kilometres an hour.

But whippets with two mutated copies of the gene become "double-muscled," like Wendy. It has been seen before in one human, and also in mice, cattle and sheep, says the study.

The uber-muscled whippets are called "bullies," not because of their nature -- Wendy likes nothing better than a good back scratch and isn't shy about sitting in your lap to ask for one -- but because of their size. She's about twice the weight of an average whippet, but with the same height and small narrow head -- and the same size heart and lungs, which means she probably won't live as long as normal whippets.

Hansen has had Wendy, now four, since she bought the dog from a Shawnigan Lake breeder when she was eight months old.

Wendy landed in clover. She lives on an acreage, runs around with other dogs and horses, sleeps on Hansen's bed and pretty much anywhere else she wants to.

People are often afraid when the muscle-bound dog runs up to them on her dainty whippet-thin legs, but they soon realize she's friendly, Hansen said.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Thou Shalt Not Become Extinct

Recently eaten: meatloaf
Recent annoyance: meetings, meetings, meetings

Proof that the creationists and the scientists are all right at the same time.