"Gullible" is Written on the Ceiling

Recently eaten: yogurt past it's expiration date
Recent annoyance: trash chute is too small

Why, oh why, didn't they get those crazy glasses for watching solar eclipses? Why has God forsaken us?

Dozen blinded in India looking for Virgin Mary (Telegraph UK)
At least 50 people have lost their sight after staring at the sun hoping to see an image of the Virgin Mary, according to reports.

Alarmed health authorities in India's Kottayam district have set up a sign dispelling rumours of a miraculous image in the sky and warning of the dangers of looking into direct sunlight.

Forty-eight cases of sight-loss, allegedly caused by photochemical burns on the retina, have been recorded at St Joseph's ENT and Eye hospital in the region since Friday.

Despite warnings, and the potentially harmful effects of their actions, believers are allegedly still flocking to a hotelier's house in Erumeli near where the divine image is said to have appeared.

"All our patients have similar history and symptoms… They have developed photochemical, not thermal, burns after continuously gazing at the sun," Dr Annamma James Isaac, the hospital's ophthalmologist said.

"Totally radical, and righteous, dude."

Masa-lotta Going on

Recently eaten: chipotle burrito
Recent annoyance: whoever keeps dumping out tons of oatmeal on the sidewalk for the pigeons to eat

I used to want to visit India. I thought it would be a great backpacking type of trip...all that romantic travel stuff. But a couple of recent articles have convinced me that it is probably most dangerous place on earth and I wouldn't have a chance of making it out alive.

Cow-eating trees
Carnivorous trees grabbing humans and cattle and gobbling them up is not just village folklore.

Residents of Padrame near Kokkoda in Uppinangady forest range sighted one such carnivorous tree trying to dine on a cow last Thursday. According to reports, the cow owned by Anand Gowda had been left to graze in the forests.

The cow was suddenly grabbed by the branches and pulled from the ground. The terrified cowherd ran to the village, and got Gowda and a band of villagers to the carnivorous tree.

Before the tree could have its meal, Anand Gowda and the villagers struck mortal blows to the branches that turned limp and the cow was rescued. Uppinangady range forest officer (RFO) Subramanya Rao said the tree was described as ‘pili mara’ (tiger tree) in native lingo.

He had received many complaints about cattle returning home in the evenings without tails. On Friday, the field staff confirmed coming across a similar tree in Padrane, partially felled down.

However no detailed inquiry was made as the authorities were not asked for any report, Rao said.

Monkeys kill Delhi Deputy Mayor
The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi has died a day after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.

SS Bajwa suffered serious head injuries when he fell from the first-floor terrace of his home on Saturday morning trying to fight off the monkeys.

The city has long struggled to counter its plague of monkeys, which invade government complexes and temples, snatch food and scare passers-by.

The High Court ordered the city to find an answer to the problem last year.

Solution elusive

One approach has been to train bands of larger, more ferocious langur monkeys to go after the smaller groups of Rhesus macaques.

The city has also employed monkey catchers to round them up so they can be moved to forests.

But the problem has persisted.

Culling is seen as unacceptable to devout Hindus, who revere the monkeys as a manifestation of the monkey god Hanuman, and often feed them bananas and peanuts.

Urban development around the city has also been blamed for destroying the monkeys' natural habitat.

Mr Bajwa, a member of the opposition Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP), is survived by his wife and a son, according to the Press Trust of India news agency.

A Rickshawful Shame

Recently eaten: turkey and cheddar on english muffin
Recent annoyance: people in movie theaters who aren't me

Rickshaw Race Yakuzas
WARNING: Don't click on this link if you don't want to see a kinda gross picture of a guy with no thumb...no blood, just a healed stump.

"Every year several drivers die on the all-or-nothing routes in pursuit of a week's worth of bragging rights and a small cash purse, but when the challenge gets heated the only acceptable stake is to risk the one appendage that separates humans from primates.

In Chennai there are several drag racing routes where local clubs of mechanics supe-up the two stroke engines and navigate their way at top speed through the city's confusing grid work of streets and alleys. One popular route is the journey from Elliot's beach to Mahibellipuram, 50 kilometers south. The driver I interviewed said that for a while in 2003 he was the local favorite as city's most skilled racer. He had won several races for small money in the last few weeks and was feeling unbeatable. Aiming to knock him down a few pegs, another racer offered to race him and put his thumb up on hid left hand up as stake. The loser would not only end up mutilated, but ostensibly never be able to drive a rickshaw again since it requires a thumb to work the clutch. He had a good lead in the final stretch of the run with the finish line in sight when the engine on his rickshaw overheated and died. His challenger sped past him and won his prize. "

At first I thought this was going to be some tongue-in-cheek story about some rickshaw drivers that fancied themselves hardcore for street racing. However, after reading this article and the related blog posts, this might be one of the most frightening stories I ahve read in recent history. God forbid I should ever be challenged to one of these races. It's like Ben-Hur except with no horses, and the psikes in the wheels are for cutting off your thumbs instead of puncturing your tires. Talk about too fast and too furious. These people mean business. I don't even want to know how cutthroat the pedi-cab racing yakuzas are. They probably cut off your foot or something.

I'm smiling at your impending doom!