Showing posts with label vampires. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vampires. Show all posts

Monday, October 27, 2008

Web of Lies

Recently eaten: stuffed shells
Recent annoyance: no rain in the forecast, yet, now it's raining


Was this bird sick? How does a giant bird like that get caught in the delicate threads of a spiderweb? This post is just in time to really freak me out for Halloween. Don't ask questions, just avoid walking into spiderwebs.

Spider eats bird (The Cairns Post)
These amazing images of a mammoth spider devouring a bird were taken in the backyard of an Atherton property, west of Cairns.

And the images, which are being circulated via email worldwide, are real, according to wildlife experts.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Kill Or Killer Bee Killed

Recently eaten: tandoori chicken skewers
Recent annoyance:

This is like one of those terrible campy killer bee movies from the 70's coming to life. As I recall, the only way to beat them to is carry around a giant flamethrower or to drive really fast in a brown El Camino. Maybe all the honeybees in North America went to China and got angry...

Bee swarm kills six in car smash and sting (via YahooNews)
Three people were stung to death after a truck carrying dozens of bee hives overturned in northeast China and three more were killed on the road as they tried to steer clear of the swarm, newspapers said on Thursday.

The bee-hive truck collided with a farm vehicle on Wednesday and overturned near Changchun, the capital of Jilin province, the China Daily said.

" I am so helpful and seductive with my accent. I am the Nasonex bee!"

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Sleep Tight

Recently eaten: steak and onion pita
Recent annoyance: metro bus ate my $10

So the bus ate $10 this morning. At least I don't have one of these gnawing on my arm.

Goblin shark (New Scientist)



Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Smartest Bat Ever

Recently eaten: scrod - junk fish of the sea
Recent annoyance: outfit looks good standing up, but not sitting down

I can't decide if the bat is way smarter than a dolphin, or this chick is hard-of-feeling. And, isn't there some risk of getting rabies from hatching a baby bat in your undergarments? It seems unsanitary and probably means that this girl is a member of a vampire army. It's science.

Teenager finds baby bat in her bra
Abbie Hawkins, a hotel receptionist, thought her mobile phone was ringing when she felt vibrations coming from her clothes.

But she later discovered the tiny creature tucked away in the padded pocket of her underwear.

As staff and colleagues crowded around, Miss Hawkins, 19, produced the frightened bat, which was the size of her hand.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Someone Must Have Gotten Raisins and Pennies Instead of Candy

Recently eaten: lean pocket
Recent annoyance: raggedy cuticle

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the iron curtain come down already? Someone traded the head of the Moscow schools a bad box of Marlboroughs for his acid-washed jeans. They must be worried that Halloween will compete with Russia's national pasttime: getting wasted on vodka and then trying to figure out those little nested dolls.

Schools ban "cult of death" Halloween
Moscow schools have been ordered to ban students from celebrating Halloween despite the widespread popularity of the imported festival to Russia.

Halloween is being forced underground because it "includes religious elements, the cult of death, the mockery of death," a spokesman for the city's education department Alexander Gavrilov said Wednesday.

"It's not an attempt to block the celebration of this holiday completely, just in schools and colleges," he added.

Pumpkins and images of witches are widespread across Russia, with many bars organizing special fancy dress parties, despite the efforts of the Kremlin, and especially the Russian Orthodox Church, to curb enthusiasm for non-native festivities.

"This is destructive for the minds and the spiritual and moral health of pupils," said Gavrilov.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Quick Post

Recently eaten: chicken saltimbocca
Recent annoyance: Nickelback

Just a quick post on Halloween, my favorite time of year. many of you lament the coming of fall winter like summer didn't just have its deadly grip on us for the last 8 months or so in D.C. bring on the pumpkin smashers and mittens. I'd like to wake up and not be sweating for once. and what could be better than for scaring small children to be socially acceptable for about a week...or two.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Night of the Living Amoebas

Recently eaten: bbq chicken, salty oat cookies
Recent annoyance: ragweed

This is great example of good marketing versus bad marketing. Remember flesh-eating bacteria? That stuff was terrifying. I had no clue how people got it, or what it actually was, but anything that would eat my flesh was no friend of mine. On the slightly less scary scale is the brain-eating amoeba. Still sounds kinda gross, but almost sounds like a naughty cartoon character. Oh that brain-eating amoeba is at it again. Like a blood-sucking caterpillar, or the face-eating butterfly.

6 die from brain-eating amoeba in lakes
It sounds like science fiction but it's true: A killer amoeba living in lakes enters the body through the nose and attacks the brain where it feeds until you die.

Even though encounters with the microscopic bug are extraordinarily rare, it's killed six boys and young men this year. The spike in cases has health officials concerned, and they are predicting more cases in the future.

"This is definitely something we need to track," said Michael Beach, a specialist in recreational waterborne illnesses for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

"This is a heat-loving amoeba. As water temperatures go up, it does better," Beach said. "In future decades, as temperatures rise, we'd expect to see more cases."

According to the CDC, the amoeba called Naegleria fowleri (nuh-GLEER-ee-uh FOWL'-erh-eye) killed 23 people in the United States, from 1995 to 2004. This year health officials noticed a spike with six cases — three in Florida, two in Texas and one in Arizona. The CDC knows of only several hundred cases worldwide since its discovery in Australia in the 1960s.

In Arizona, David Evans said nobody knew his son, Aaron, was infected with the amoeba until after the 14-year-old died on Sept. 17. At first, the teen seemed to be suffering from nothing more than a headache.

"We didn't know," Evans said. "And here I am: I come home and I'm burying him."

After doing more tests, doctors said Aaron probably picked up the amoeba a week before while swimming in the balmy shallows of Lake Havasu, a popular man-made lake on the Colorado River between Arizona and California.

Though infections tend to be found in southern states, Naegleria lives almost everywhere in lakes, hot springs, even dirty swimming pools, grazing off algae and bacteria in the sediment.

Beach said people become infected when they wade through shallow water and stir up the bottom. If someone allows water to shoot up the nose — say, by doing a somersault in chest-deep water — the amoeba can latch onto the olfactory nerve.

The amoeba destroys tissue as it makes its way up into the brain, where it continues the damage, "basically feeding on the brain cells," Beach said.

People who are infected tend to complain of a stiff neck, headaches and fevers. In the later stages, they'll show signs of brain damage such as hallucinations and behavioral changes, he said.

Once infected, most people have little chance of survival. Some drugs have stopped the amoeba in lab experiments, but people who have been attacked rarely survive, Beach said.

"Usually, from initial exposure it's fatal within two weeks," he said.

Researchers still have much to learn about Naegleria. They don't know why, for example, children are more likely to be infected, and boys are more often victims than girls.

"Boys tend to have more boisterous activities (in water), but we're not clear," Beach said.

In central Florida, authorities started an amoeba phone hot line advising people to avoid warm, standing water and areas with algae blooms. Texas health officials also have issued warnings.

People "seem to think that everything can be made safe, including any river, any creek, but that's just not the case," said Doug McBride, a spokesman for the Texas Department of State Health Services.

Officials in the town of Lake Havasu City are discussing whether to take action. "Some folks think we should be putting up signs. Some people think we should close the lake," city spokesman Charlie Cassens said.

Beach cautioned that people shouldn't panic about the dangers of the brain-eating bug. Cases are still extremely rare considering the number of people swimming in lakes. The easiest way to prevent infection, Beach said, is to use nose clips when swimming or diving in fresh water.

"You'd have to have water going way up in your nose to begin with" to be infected, he said.

David Evans has tried to learn as much as possible about the amoeba over the past month. But it still doesn't make much sense to him. His family had gone to Lake Havasu countless times. Have people always been in danger? Did city officials know about the amoeba? Can they do anything to kill them off?

Evans lives within eyesight of the lake. Temperatures hover in the triple digits all summer, and like almost everyone else in this desert region, the Evanses look to the lake to cool off.

It was on David Evans' birthday Sept. 8 that he brought Aaron, his other two children, and his parents to Lake Havasu. They ate sandwiches and spent a few hours splashing around.

"For a week, everything was fine," Evans said.

Then Aaron got the headache that wouldn't go away. At the hospital, doctors first suspected meningitis. Aaron was rushed to another hospital in Las Vegas.

"He asked me at one time, 'Can I die from this?'" David Evans said. "We said, 'No, no.'"

On Sept. 17, Aaron stopped breathing as his father held him in his arms.

"He was brain dead," Evans said. Only later did doctors and the CDC determine that the boy had been infected with Naegleria.

"My kids won't ever swim on Lake Havasu again," he said.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Cats And Children Are Winning the War on Terror

Recently eaten: spinach fettuccine, baked chicken
Recent annoyance: It's 70 degrees people, I think you can hold off on wearing the fleece

I read this article on Wired.com today and it read like a page straight out my nightmare book, except that this nightmare has already come true. What do you think children have been scamming us with for years? Cuteness and helplessness. There are plenty of children that get by in the wild with just some grubs and a dead carcass to sleep in, yet, here we are, pawns in their sick game.

Cats Harbor Secret Plan to Turn Us Into Litter-Scooping Robots
One of my cats -- the one that has not yet appeared on I Can Has Cheezburger -- has developed an elaborate routine for getting me up to feed him in the morning. It involves a lot of meowing, jumping on things, knocking things over, and the occasional loud coughing up of hairballs. I can't prove that last bit is intentional, but I'm pretty sure it is.

If I had a real job I wouldn't have to set an alarm clock, but as it is I feel that this is a problem that I must solve, as I solve all my problems, with technology.

The technology in this case is an automatic cat feeder. Most of the automatic feeders on Amazon come with reviews detailing how the cats have managed to work around the DRM (dinner rights management) built into them.

No matter what lies between them and kibble, the cats manage to prod, pull and shove their way to an extra serving. I'm buying one anyway, because I have a Dremel tool, and somehow that convinces me that I can re-engineer the thing to outsmart the one primal urge a cat has left after being sterilized.

I already have an automatic water dispenser for the cats, and I'm thoughtfully eyeing one of those elaborate automatic self-cleaning litter boxes that scoops, flushes and sprays its interior with the delicate scent of live mice, the better to make it not just a litter box, but a space to exist. It occurs to me that with the proper application of money and floor space, you can get machines to take on most of the duties incumbent upon the cat owner.

For instance, any number of electronic cat toys will whip a fuzzy thing around so you can watch Best Week Ever without having to move any part of your body. Better yet, they make actual electronic mice. When I get that time machine working, I'm going to go back to colonial times and explain to a farmer that in the future, we go to the store and buy artificial vermin. I'm sure he'll enjoy thinking about that when he's not busy watching locusts eat his crops or burying his children.

This covers most of the services I provide to my cat, but not all of them. Let's start with the scratching and/or skritching. As far as I can see, this is between my cat and my hand, with very little participation from me. I just kind of stick out my hand and make a repetitive scratching movement, and my cat moves his head and neck around to his liking. I can even do it while playing Warcraft, provided the other people in my group don't mind dying for a cat's pleasure once in a while.

Really, though, there's no reason I couldn't substitute one of those robotic hands scientists build to prove that some day robots will be able to make shadow puppets. Just stick it on a "repetitive scratching motion loop" and the cat can go nuts, assuming he isn't terrified by the whirring and buzzing. On the other hand, fiction teaches us that a) most robots turn evil and b) most severed hands turn evil, so maybe this isn't such a good idea.

After that I only need to build a robotic lap -- I think that's called a "heating pad" -- and some sort of sweeper arm to knock the cat off my desk when he's being pesky, and then I'm set. Modern science has very nearly rendered human beings unnecessary when it comes to the life of a cat.

And you know, I can't back this up biologically, but I somehow suspect this is how the cats planned it all along. Time may prove that, evolutionarily speaking, we are simply a large and complex external cat organ, one given the duty of making itself obsolete.

I think, on some level, we know this. That's why so many stories and movies and TV shows are about robots replacing mankind. I think if you look carefully, somewhere in the corner of their austere mechanical fortresses, you'll see a cat box being scooped.

Monday, July 02, 2007

It Was a Grand Ole Time

Recently eaten: quinoa
Recent annoyance: blister on my baby toe

Thank the lord that this wasn't World of Warcraft. This is about as good as the classic twinkie defense though. Gee, Officer, I stole all these cars and beat all these people up, but I didn't think there was any consequence to it. The craftiness of these felons is astounding.

Man thinks he is living inside Grand Theft Auto video game
A young man was admitted from prison to a psychiatric facility after reports that he had been acting in a bizarre manner. He had been arrested for stealing motor vehicles and assaults with weapons. At interview he was found to be experiencing the delusion that he was a player inside a computer game (adult-certificate game, widely available) in which points are scored for stealing cars, killing assailants and avoiding police vehicles.

Psychotic symptoms had emerged slowly over two years. His family had noticed him becoming increasingly withdrawn and isolated from social activities. He developed delusions that strangers were planning to kill him and also experienced auditory hallucinations, constantly hearing an abusive and derogatory voice.

Previously a computer enthusiast, he began to play computer games incessantly. He felt that the games were communicating with him via the headphones. In a complex delusional system he came to believe he was inside one of these games and had to steal a car to start scoring points. He broke into a car and drove off at speed, believing he had `invulnerable' fuel and so could not run out of petrol. To gain points he chose to steal increasingly powerful vehicles, threatening and assaulting the owners with weapons. Later he said he would have had no regrets if he had killed someone, since this would have increased his score.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Don't Quit Your Day Job

Recently eaten: tunafish sandwich
Recent annoyance: doctors who miss their own appointments

Every so often I wonder what will become of me when I retire from this rat race. I suppose if I play my cards right, I could end up like this lady. There's a niche for everyone.

Woman Seeks Fame as Face of Chairman Mao
Chen Yan waves at a crowd of onlookers bemused at seeing China's late helmsman, Mao Zedong, brought back to life by a middle-aged woman.

Chen, 51, from Mianyang, in China's southwestern province of Sichuan, has been dressing up as Mao since she was discovered on a local TV show in 2005 impersonating another actor who had played Mao in movies.

"I was impersonating (the actor) when the beautician saw some similarities between me and Mao," Chen said, as make-up artists fussed over her in a Mianyang hair salon.

The beautician saw a dollar to be made in Chen's prominent cheekbones and imperious demeanor, and invited her for a make-over, she said.

Suited up in a grey, button-up waistcoat, Chen looks similar to the man who ruled China with an iron grip for decades, and is happy to ham it up for the cameras.

But the effortless poses belie fastidious preparations behind the scenes.

Chen spends up to 800 yuan on make-up and styling to create Mao's famous receding hairline.

"I need to wear a pair of specially designed shoes to increase my height to 1.80 meters (5 ft 11 in) since I am only 1.55 meters. Then I dress up in Sun Yat-sen suits which Mao also likes, and hold a cigarette without the filter," Chen said.

The financial hardships had forced her to call the media for a public photo shoot to "gain support and understanding from the public."

"My family are against me doing this," Chen said. "They don't think it's a good thing for a woman to impersonate a man."

Chen, however, is determined to make a living from impersonating Mao, even to the point where she is cagey about revealing details about her former occupations.

"I'm not telling anyone anything until I become famous," she said.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Gua-No Problem

Recently eaten: salmon bites, tiny cupcakes Recent annoyance: scratching a spot that feels itchy, but isn't quite the spot

You may think you are having a bad Monday morning, but this poor family in New York might have you beat. Look at this way, at least the house was built well enough to withstand over a ton of bat poo. I don;t even want to know how many vampires they had to kill.

3,500 pounds of bat guano found in attic
An upstate New York couple didn't think a few bats in the attic were much of a problem when they were buying a house last summer. Months later, they found out how wrong they were when they discovered more than a ton and a half of bat droppings up there.

Nick LaBoda and Jenna Caputo say a home inspector informed them about the bats. They called an exterminator, who told them to wait a while before removing the bats because the babies were too young to fly.


Then they forgot about the bats until they smelled a foul odor in January. When they checked the attic, they found dead bats and piles of guano.
An exterminator says hundreds of bats had been living in the attic, leaving behind 3,500 pounds of droppings.

It cost $25,000 to clean up the mess, and the couple's insurance company wouldn't cover it. They're fighting it out in court.

"The Count says, you should have killed those damned baby bats."

Monday, April 30, 2007

The Most Dangerous Predator in the Animal Kingdom is Not the Human

Recently eaten: foot longs from RFK
Recent annoyance: spring fever combined with allergic lethargy

I'd say this little kid is pretty darn awesome. And that means a lot coming from the non-kid person such as myself. I especially enjoyed the scary evil hamster sketch at the bottom.

The Rats of Spring: "Evil Hamsters," a child's poem


Thursday, April 05, 2007

Blood is Thicker Than Raw Sewage

Recently eaten: serrano ham and manchego cheese sandwich, truffle fries
Recent annoyance: mosquito trapped in my room

Yeah, this seems totally normal. The worst part of it is that dumping blood, huamn, animal, or otherwise, is totally legal. Another reason why they should stop paying pro athletes millions of dollars and start paying sewer workers higher wages.

Blood sprays out of sewer, on city worker
A Minneapolis city worker is worried about blood in the sewer system because he said, while he was cleaning the system, blood sprayed out of a hole and got all over him.

"We could tell it was blood, I mean large amount of blood," said Minneapolis Sewer Maintenance Worker Ron Huebner.

It happened about two weeks ago in Northeast Minneapolis near a lab that does medical testing and dumps blood into the sewer. It is allowed but the city is now making changes to help protect workers in the future.

"Blood just all over my face, in my mouth, I could taste it. It was terrible. I had it in my mouth and I kept spitting and I couldn't get rid of it," said Huebner.

Huebner said he hasn't been sleeping much. He's worried about the blood that he swallowed when he was operating a jet machine to clean out the sewer.

The Met Council said it was a mix of human and animal blood used in medical testing at this nearby lab.

In fact, the company, R & D Systems, does have a permit to dump blood in the sewer system.

However, Huebner wasn't protected or warned about the blood because his immediate bosses didn't know about.

"We did not specifically know that this particular facility was discharging blood into the sewer system," said Minneapolis Public Works Deputy Director Heidi Hamilton.

There have been some changes, including more coordination among city departments so key information in permits gets to the right people and there's more required safety gear.

"We have changed the procedure to ensure they're wearing goggles or a face mask while they are above that manhole," said Hamilton.

The Met Council is changing the permit to say that the city has to warn the lab it's coming to clean the sewer, and the lab has to stop discharging blood until they're done. R & D told the city the blood shouldn't present any risk, but Huebner's still worried.

"I'm going to hope that nothing's wrong with me, but I don't want to see this happen to anyone else in my department," said Huebner.

The Met Council issued the permit. When asked if it's safe to have blood in the sewers, the Met Council said it is no more harmful than most other wastes in the sewer.

The sanitary sewer system is the appropriate place for this type of liquid wastes. There are other companies that have permits to discharge blood in the sewer system.

According to the Met Council, there are about four slaughterhouses, about 20 hospitals, and about a dozen medical and pharmaceutical companies that have permits.

"Just here to check out the pipes."

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Daylight Savings Done Rotted My Brain

Recently eaten: turkey and mozzarella sandwich
Recent annoyance: earphone wires are either too short or way too long

It's a moral dilemma. Save energy (or so they claim) by saving daylight months earlier, or don't be a maniac. I don't know if I am qualified to make such a decision. I'd better leave it up to good ol' Uncle Sam.

Internal body clock linked to mania in mice
The manic state that is at the ancient root of the word "maniac" might result from a screwed up body clock, new findings in mutant rodents suggest.

These novel mice could help unearth the roots of bipolar disorder—commonly known as manic-depression—which afflicts more than 1 in 40 adults, or roughly 5.7 million people, in the United States alone.

"This should allow us to develop better and more targeted therapies in the future," Colleen McClung, a neurobiologist at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas, told LiveScience.

Although mania can nowadays innocently refer to any harmless passion, its medical definition and past meaning refer to a severe brain disorder with consequences ranging from hyperactivity and impulsive behavior to grandiose delusions and rage.

The excessive excitement associated with mania is often coupled with depression, resulting in alternating states of extreme highs and lows known as bipolar disorder. Unraveling the mechanisms at the core of bipolar disorder has proven difficult, hampering efforts to design therapeutic medicines, McClung explained.

The alternating cycles of mania and depression in bipolar disorder typically occur in regular patterns, suggesting to scientists that the disorder arises from abnormal circadian rhythms.

"It has long been speculated that abnormalities in a person's internal circadian clock can contribute to a wide range of disorders, including nearly all psychiatric disorders, sleep disorders, and even some aspects of heart disease and cancer," McClung said.

Over about three years, McClung and her colleagues tested mice with a mutant version of a critical circadian rhythm gene, dubbed Clock. The researchers discovered the rodents are the best lab animal version of human mania seen to date, suggesting this gene and potentially other circadian rhythm genes are deeply involved in the disorder.

The mice with the mutant Clock gene were hyperactive and slept less. They appeared less depressed when disturbed, for instance, persistently attempting to escape from a room that continuously shocked them instead of helplessly giving up. The rodents also were more likely to take risks, spending more time in the middle of an open field where they could get snapped up by a predator, and proved less daunted by bobcat urine.

And as is the case with the human version of mania, lithium alleviated the manic-like behaviors in these mutants. "This mouse allows us the opportunity to discover the mechanisms by which mood stabilizers like lithium lead to their therapeutic effects," McClung noted. "This has been somewhat of a mystery."

The findings indicate this gene and perhaps others involved in regulating an animal’s internal body clock are associated with at least the manic part of bipolar disorder.

The researchers say they would like to see if the mutant rodents cycle between excessive highs and lows the way bipolar humans do. "Thus far we have not seen any indication that these mice spontaneously go into a depressive state,” McClung said, “but this has not been thoroughly tested.”

The rodents appeared to respond more strongly to stimulants such as cocaine or sucrose. Bipolar disorder is often linked with drug addiction, and the mice could help scientists understand why that is the case, McClung said of their findings, which are detailed online March 19 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

The mutant rodents could also shed light on the consequences of jet lag and other disruptions to one's circadian rhythm, or the body clock.

"For certain susceptible individuals, disruptions in normal sleep-wake rhythms or changes in season lead to severe depressive or manic episodes," McClung said. "Through better understanding of how the circadian system interacts with the circuits that regulate mood, this will greatly aid in our understanding of major depression, seasonal affective disorder, and other psychiatric disorders."

Monday, March 12, 2007

It's Not A Popularity Contest

Recently eaten: bbq burger
Recent annoyance: that whole daylights savings thing really snuck up on me

Look, I know W. doesn't really care what people think of him at this point. He got re-elected so he doesn't have to make anyone happy anymore. I guess I might take a harder look in the mirror if a group had to cleanse my bad vibes after I visited. Although I am not entirely certain if my parents do the same thing after I leave home.

Priests to Purify Site After Bush Visit
GUATEMALA CITY -- Mayan priests will purify a sacred archaeological site to eliminate "bad spirits" after President Bush visits next week, an official with close ties to the group said Thursday.

"That a person like (Bush), with the persecution of our migrant brothers in the United States, with the wars he has provoked, is going to walk in our sacred lands, is an offense for the Mayan people and their culture," Juan Tiney, the director of a Mayan nongovernmental organization with close ties to Mayan religious and political leaders, said Thursday.

Bush's seven-day tour of Latin America includes a stopover beginning late Sunday in Guatemala. On Monday morning he is scheduled to visit the archaeological site Iximche on the high western plateau in a region of the Central American country populated mostly by Mayans.

Tiney said the "spirit guides of the Mayan community" decided it would be necessary to cleanse the sacred site of "bad spirits" after Bush's visit so that their ancestors could rest in peace. He also said the rites -- which entail chanting and burning incense, herbs and candles -- would prepare the site for the third summit of Latin American Indians March 26-30.

Bush's trip has already has sparked protests elsewhere in Latin America, including protests and clashes with police in Brazil hours before his arrival. In Bogota, Colombia, which Bush will visit on Sunday, 200 masked students battled 300 riot police with rocks and small homemade explosives.

The tour is aimed at challenging a widespread perception that the United States has neglected the region and at combatting the rising influence of Venezuelan leftist President Hugo Chavez, who has called Bush "history's greatest killer" and "the devil."

Iximche, 30 miles west of the capital of Guatemala City, was founded as the capital of the Kaqchiqueles kingdom before the Spanish conquest in 1524.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, and Softer In the Cooler

Recently eaten: salmon, rice, ginger sesame carrots
Recent annoyance: Punxatawney Phil is a big, fat lying rodent

Well, well, DHL, first you try to pull some fake shipping charges on me, but look who's mailing body parts around? Who's the sketchy one now? DHL - Definitely Human Legs?

Question really is, who does one call when body parts arrive on your doorstep? The police? DHL? Or animal control?

Human liver, part of head sent to home
Two packages containing human body parts — including a liver and part of a head — meant for a medical research lab instead were delivered to a home. The body parts, sent from China, were mistakenly dropped off Thursday at Franck and Ludivine Larmande's home by a DHL express driver who believed the bubble-wrapped items were pieces to a table.

"My husband started to unwrap one and said, 'This is strange, it looks like a liver,'" Ludivine Larmande said. "He started the second one, but stopped as soon as we saw the ear.

"Something wasn't right. It was scary, and I'm glad I didn't open them."

The couple called Kent County sheriff's deputies, who determined the preserved body parts were for medical research, Lt. Roger Parent said.

Authorities believe 28 more bubble-wrapped human organs and body parts could be dispersed across the country, the newspaper said. Two of five packages headed to the northern Michigan lab broke open, scattering their contents.

"There will definitely be a shock to people if they see these things, but there is no hazard to health," Parent said.

DHL is investigating whether it should have shipped the body parts and how the packages were dispersed, spokesman Robert Mints said."

"Excuse me, package delivery"

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The End is Nigh

Recently eaten: turkey, stuffing, haricot verts
Recent annoyance: no matter how nice my shirt looks when I put it on, it's wrinkled by the time I get to work

Well, I know the end of the world is near:

  1. Because I am leaving my job of 3,5 years. Frankly, the new copier and I never got along
  2. A house full of vegans is advertising to trade a room for breast milk
Mmmmm, thanks but no thanks. I think I will try and get in on that World of Warcraft group house instead.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Cathartic Post #9

Recently eaten: tater tots
Recent annoyance: people

BLUG


Monday, February 19, 2007

Alas, Poor Yorick

Recently eaten: homemade calzone, hot chocolate
Recent annoyance: old men trying to flirt at the bus stop at 7 AM on a cold morning

Well, another old dude has bitten it in front of the television. A rather ignomious death compared to what these people went through.

After reading this list, the strangest deaths occur in the ages of Antiquity and the 21st Century. Weird.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Cathartic Post #18,348

Recently eaten: cheeseburger (neither spicy nor juicy, bleh)
Recent annoyance: dumb butts

"What a dumb butt!"