Web of Lies

Recently eaten: stuffed shells
Recent annoyance: no rain in the forecast, yet, now it's raining

Was this bird sick? How does a giant bird like that get caught in the delicate threads of a spiderweb? This post is just in time to really freak me out for Halloween. Don't ask questions, just avoid walking into spiderwebs.

Spider eats bird (The Cairns Post)
These amazing images of a mammoth spider devouring a bird were taken in the backyard of an Atherton property, west of Cairns.

And the images, which are being circulated via email worldwide, are real, according to wildlife experts.

You're Not the Only Ones

Recently eaten: turkey meatball soup
Recent annoyance: wonderful clipboard-wielding volunteers of Dupont Circle hear this: I donate online so I can avoid interacting with people. Please leave me to my misanthropy.

The lamb-eating eagles aren't just upsetting Scottish farmers. I, myself, have been fighting a pterodactyl reintroduction program in North America. Note to self: only visit Scotland in protective bubble suit.

Lamb-eating eagles upset Scottish farmers (via YahooNews)
Sheep farmers in remote northwest Scotland are furious about a sea eagle reintroduction programme, saying the huge birds of prey are damaging their livelihoods by killing 200 lambs in the past year.

The Scottish Crofting Foundation said some crofts, small farms producing mainly lamb or beef, had seen lamb numbers fall over the past five years because of the sea eagles' diet.

Gah!

Recently eaten: chicken enchiladas
Recent annoyance: one moldy cherry in the whole bunch

What are they teaching kids in school these days? This is clearly not the proper use of the word "amazing." I would accept: terrifying, apocalyptic, homicidal, or just plain creepy. Amazing? not so much.

Amazing bird formation

We all know what happened in the movie "The Birds"

In My Own Backyard!

Recently eaten: shepherd's pie
Recent annoyance: cholesterol-free mayo with canola oil *ick*

This is terrifying not only because it is a predatory bird, but also because this is not too far from where I live. If something should happen to me, take a close look at this beak.

I witnessed a killing in the Shaw neighborhood

I Know Why The Caged bird Sings for Its Life

Recently eaten: greek salad
Recent annoyance: when that little string you pull to open things breaks

Is poisoning a rat with wings really that inhumane? I've seen plenty of those suckers walking around with no feet, or oily feathers. There are way too many pigeons in this city. ever walk by McPherson Square? I cover my eyes just to keep the birds from pecking at my delicious eyeballs. I say, get rid of them. If you keep them out of the stations, they're just going to roost somewhere else.

- The opinion of a long-time bird-hater and bird-fearer

Metro to consider other ways to get rid of birds
Metro officials said yesterday they might reconsider their longtime policy of poisoning pigeons and starlings after a contractor failed to clean up dead birds at several Metro stations Sunday, closing three stations and stalling trains for hours.

After hearing news reports about the poisoned birds, executives of the Humane Society of the United States contacted Metro officials yesterday and offered to discuss more humane ways to keep birds out of stations, according to Maggie Brasted, director of the society's urban wildlife conflict resolution program.

"We want to bring them good practical solutions," she said. "We think that using poison is not very humane."

Paul Gillum, director of plant maintenance at Metro, said killing the birds "is not something Metro enjoys doing, but it's sometimes a necessity to provide proper service to our customers." But, he added, he plans to meet with the Humane Society experts. "If there's another way to do business, we will look at it and see if we can make changes."

Metro officials said they have contracted with Dixon's Pest Control of the District for the past 15 years on an as-needed basis to get rid of pesky birds after customers and employees complain about droppings.

"Our employees and patrons don't like them being overhead, and there is a tendency for those droppings to get on our Farecard machines . . . and people don't like touching that stuff," Gillum said, adding that Metro uses the poison as a "last resort." The agency also uses netting and spikes to prevent large flocks of birds from roosting, he said.

None of three other major transit agencies contacted yesterday said they use poison to get rid of birds. Officials at the Los Angeles, New York and Philadelphia transit systems said they rely on netting and spikes as their primary methods of controlling nuisance birds.

Asked whether New York officials use poison to control the legions of pigeons that flock to the subway, transit agency spokeswoman Deirdre Parker said: "Oh no, no, no, no, no. We would never be able to get away with it." Parker said officials rely on a mild electric shock to get rid of birds.

The poisoning process at Metro begins when the contractor sets out food for two to three weeks to attract birds to a particular location, Gillum said. Once that feeding area has been established, the contractor is supposed to bait the area early on a Sunday morning using Avitrol, a chemically treated bait.

The contractor is supposed to monitor during this period to make sure "non-target species" of birds do not eat the poisoned bait, according to the contract.

The contract also states that Dixon's is required to use "extreme care and caution" in the poison application "so as not to be hazardous to the health of human beings, warm blooded animals, or songbirds. In addition, food, ground water, or subterranean water, must not be contaminated."

On Sunday, the contractor told Metro officials that it put out poison at one bus garage and seven Metrorail stations: Silver Spring and Takoma on the Red Line, and Prince George's Plaza, Fort Totten, Greenbelt, Naylor Road and Anacostia on the Green Line.

The contractor, which was supposed to be finished before 7 a.m., told Metro officials it did not begin until 7:30 a.m., Gillum said. Dead birds were reported at four of those stations: Takoma, Greenbelt, Naylor Road and Anacostia. Gillum said the contractor was able to pick up dead birds at some of the stations immediately but did not have time to go back to the other stations before authorities closed them because of the dead birds.

Metro officials said they could not explain why dead birds were found at two stations -- Branch Avenue and Rhode Island Avenue-Brentwood -- where the contractor had not put out poison.

In 2006, Metro hired Dixon nine times, paying between $213 and $4,000 each time, based on the amount of work.

The company's owner, Robert Dixon, did not return a telephone call to his office yesterday.

The reports of at least 60 dead birds triggered an immediate response from federal and local officials Sunday, and the FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force also interviewed Dixon, according to Debbie Weierman, a spokeswoman for the FBI's Washington field office.

Gillum noted that Metro had worked successfully with the Humane Society several years ago to find an alternative to trapping and killing troublesome beavers at the Greenbelt Metro station. Metro ended up using a device known as the beaver deceiver, which tricks beavers into thinking their dams are not working and prompts them to leave, he said.

Ducks In A Row...Boat

Recently eaten: lasagna
Recent annoyance: that one contact lens that keeps popping out

This guy has been following a flotilla of rubber duckies after the boat in which they were being transported lost some of its cargo in rough waters. I guess there are less worthwhile studies out there, and it was fortuitous that such a large number of these little guys popped out of a ship all at once in the middle of the ocean.

Drifting Rubber Duckies Chart Oceans of Plastic

All That's Fit To Print

Now this is just downright weird. Found this on Wired.com this morning. I don't think the bird is still alive, but maybe it is. And why would anyone take a photo of this except to prove that our only defense against bird are multi-legged invertebrate.

I'm Not Dead Yet!

Recently eaten:chicken saltimbocca
Recent annoyance: blister on little toe

Sometimes I get this feeling after a long week at work. They're not even waiting for me to die.

Starving vultures prey on living animals
Huge flocks of starving vultures have started attacking live animals in northern Spain, officials in the city of Burgos said on Thursday.

In one incident, about 100 vultures killed a cow and her newborn calf, a rancher from the Mena Valley said, according to the Spanish government's office in Burgos, quoted by state news agency EFE.

Ranchers have complained that vultures started attacking livestock several months ago when a feeding station set up in the Ordunte mountains was closed by the neighbouring province of Vizcaya. Vultures prefer to feed on the carcasses of dead animals, but carrion is scarce in modern Spain.

If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Rotisserie

It occurred to me today, that if rotisserie chicken is a drug, I need to go to rehab. I've had a long history with rotisserie chicken. My mother used to bring one home from the supermarket for my brother and I to tear appart on Saturday afternoons. No squabbling over the leg meat, my brother ate dark meat, and I stuck to the white.

Since moving to D.C., the rotisserie chicken is just the right size for a single lady. I have enough for one meal and leftovers. Although I have noticed that when I buy a chicken, very little of it actually is left. As soon as I get that juicy, steming chicken out of it's little plastic dome, I start picking until there's nothing left but a tiny fowl carcass.

Don't be fooled. The rotisserie chickens at the Whole Foods are total bunk. Dry, barely seasoned, and no crispy skin. The best chickens can be found at Giant. Highly recommended. I ahve yet to break open that spit over at Eastern Market, but from the smell of it, they know what they're doing.

Get out of my dreams, and into my car

Audubon Voyage

Recently eaten: tortellini with artichoke hearts
Recent annoyance: cottonmouth

No fun post today. I am off to a staff retreat in Maryland. There will be a nature walk. There probably is not a group a hug. I hope there are no birds.

WE DID IT!

Recently eaten: healthy choice entree
Recent annoyance: extremely hot office temperature (77 according to the thermostat)

Well, the Chinese have done it, they have figured out how to control pigeons with microchips in their brains. Although the scary thought I had was: maybe we've been controlling them all along!! Bwaaaah! Now, everyone lay down your weapons because you will be powerless against our flying army of winged rats.

Chinese scientists command pigeons via remote control
"Scientists in eastern China say they have succeeded in controlling the flight of pigeons with micro electrodes planted in their brains, state media reported on Tuesday.

Scientists at the Robot Engineering Technology Research Centre at Shandong University of Science and Technology said their electrodes could command them to fly right or left or up or down, Xinhua news agency said.

"The implants stimulate different areas of the pigeon's brain, according to signals sent by the scientists via computer and force the bird to comply with their commands," Xinhua said.

"It's the first such successful experiment on a pigeon in the world," Xinhua quoted the center's chief scientist, Su Xuecheng, as saying.

Su and his colleagues, who Xinhua said had had similar success with mice in 2005, were improving the devices used in the experiment and hoped that the technology could be put into practical use in future.

The report did not specify what practical uses the scientists saw for the remote-controlled pigeons. "

Love Lift Us Up

Recently eaten: weiners, nachos, 6-layer dip, meatballs
Recent annoyance: Rex Grossman is garbage

So is there still any doubt that birds are minions of the devil and will try to kill you if you dare to enter their aerial domain? although, in the eagles' defense, I would attack a professional paraglider too.

Wild eagles attack paraglider
Britain's top female paraglider has cheated death after being attacked by a pair of "screeching" wild eagles while competition flying in Australia.

Nicky Moss, 38, watched terrified as two huge birds began tearing into her parachute canopy, one becoming tangled in her lines and clawing at her head 2,500 meters (8,200ft) in the air.

"I heard screeching behind me and a eagle flew down and attacked me, swooping down and bouncing into the side of my wing with its claws," Moss told Reuters on Friday.

"Then another one appeared and together they launched a sustained attack on my glider, tearing at the wing."

The encounter happened on Monday while Moss -- a member of the British paragliding team -- was preparing for world titles this month at Manilla in northern New South Wales state.

One of the giant wedge-tailed eagles became wrapped in the canopy lines and slid down toward Moss, lashing at her face with its talons as her paraglider plummeted toward the ground.

"It swooped in and hit me on the back of the head, then got tangled in the glider which collapsed it. So I had a very, very large bird wrapped up screeching beside me as I screamed back," Moss said.

She said she thought about dumping her parachute-style canopy and using the reserve.

"But then I would have been descending on my reserve as the birds continued shredding it, which I wasn't happy about," she said.

Wedge-tailed eagles are Australia's largest predatory birds and have a wing-span of more than two meters.

Moss said the attack ended after the second bird freed itself and the glider reached a height of only 100m from the ground, taking her outside the territory of the pair, who probably mistook her as a bird intruder.

Veteran Australian paraglider pilot Godfrey Wenness said eagle attacks were rare, but Moss had been flying in an area where the birds were not accustomed to human pilots.

"Eagles are the sharks of the air. But if you're a regular they just treat you pretty indifferently," he said.

Moss, who crashed into a gum tree in Australia last year while flying in Victoria, said her latest encounter had not put her off flying.

"I see the eagles quite often and they are incredibly beautiful, but I must say I have never been so relieved to reach the ground," she said.

Recently eaten: spanish rice, avocado
Recent annoyance: owing $200 to the federal government

A bald eagle dragged a deer head onto a power line? This thing could tear me apart like wet tissue paper. Or at least carry me off and electrovute me on some power lines. Good lord, first the frill shark, now this? The animal kingdom is terrifying!

Eagle Causes Power Outage
"About 10,000 Juneau residents lost power Sunday after a bald eagle lugging a deer head crashed into an Alaska Electric Light & Power transmission system in Lemon Creek.

"You have to live in Alaska to have this kind of outage scenario," said Gayle Wood, an AEL&P spokeswoman. "This is the story of the overly ambitious eagle who evidently found a deer head in the landfill."

The meal was apparently too heavy. The eagle failed to clear transmission lines as it flew from the landfill toward the Lemon Creek Operation Center, she said. When a repair crew arrived, they found the eagle carcass with the deer head nearby.

The outage started about 9:45 a.m. and affected customers in Salmon Creek, Lemon Creek, the Mendenhall Valley and Out the Road, Wood said. It was completely fixed by 10:28 a.m.

"It was a speedy recovery because a crew was already mobilized, and because a customer managed to hear the explosion," Wood said. "So we were able to narrow it in pretty quickly."

The landfill has a program in place to discourage eagles, ravens and other birds from feeding, she said. But this eagle "got a hold of a little bit more than he could handle."

"This would have been a major score," Wood said. "That eagle would have been the king eagle of the Lemon Creek group."

Ice Scream

Recently eaten: enchilada
Recent annoyance: a bus that comes early??!!

This is why I hate children AND birds.

Boy's screaming kills chickens
"Hundreds of chickens have been found dead in eastern China - and a court has ruled that the cause of death was the screaming of a four-year-old boy who in turn had been scared by a barking dog.

According to a local newspaper, the bizarre sequence events began when the boy arrived at a village home in the eastern province of Jiangsu in the summer with his father who was delivering bottles of gas.

A villager was quoted as saying the little boy bent over the hen house window, screaming for a long time, after being scared by the dog.

"One neighbour told police that he had heard the boy's crying that afternoon and another villager confirmed the boy screaming by the hen house window," the newspaper said.

A court ruled the boy's screaming was "the only unexpected abnormal sound" and that the 443 chickens trampled each other to death in fear.

The boy's father was ordered to pay around £117 in compensation to the owner of the chickens. "

Where The Streets Have No Birds

Recently eaten: tortellini, chicken, tomatoes, feta cheese
Recent annoyance: lack of traffic enforcement and control in Columbia Heights

I have seen my signs recently that a change is in the air. I don't necessarily predict the Apocalypse, but something is going on and I have not yet decided whether the omens point to good or bad.

Signs that it may be good:

1. All these damned birds bit it
   

Signs that it may be bad:

1. My computer kicked the bucket at work

Tough call.
Mystery as thousands of birds fall from the sky
THOUSANDS of birds have fallen from the skies over Esperance and no one knows why.
Is it an illness, toxins or a natural phenomenon? A string of autopsies in Perth have shed no light on the mystery.

All the residents of flood-devastated Esperance know is that their "dawn chorus" of singing birds is missing.

The main casualties are wattle birds, yellow-throated miners, new holland honeyeaters and singing honeyeaters, although some dead crows, hawks and pigeons have also been found.

On Monday, Esperance, 725km southeast of Perth, was declared a natural disaster zone.

District nature conservation co-ordinator Mike Fitzgerald said the first reports of birds dropping dead in people's yards came in three weeks ago. More than 500 deaths had since been notified. But the calls stopped suddenly last week, reportedly because no birds were left.

"It's very substantial. We estimate several thousand birds are dead, although we don't have a clear number because of the large areas of bushland," Mr Fitzgerald said.

The Department of Agriculture and Food, which conducted the autopsies, has almost ruled out an infectious process.

Acting chief veterinary officer Fiona Sunderman said toxins were the most likely cause but the deaths could be due to anything from toxic algae to chemicals and pesticides.

Dr Sunderman said there were no leads yet on which of potentially hundreds of toxins might be responsible. Some birds were seen convulsing as they died.

Michelle Crisp was one of the first to contact the DEC after finding dozens of dead birds on her property one morning.

She told The Australian she normally had hundreds of birds in her yard, but that she and a neighbour counted 80 dead birds in one day. "It went to the point where we had nothing, not a bird," she said. "It was like a moonscape, just horrible.

"But the frightening thing for us, we didn't find any more birds after that. We literally didn't have any birds left to die."

I Knew It!

Recently eaten: pizza for one
Recent annoyance: insomnia

Every great once in a blue moon, a sneaking suspicion is confirmed with such ferocity, that you almost want to deny it. All those years that I worried about checking my luggage, even though I have yet to lose a bag, and I read today that the airplane leprechauns have been throwing luggage into pet store dumpsters. I predict that the great avian conspiracy will be revealed next.

Airline luggage found near Houston store
"HOUSTON - Authorities were trying Tuesday to figure out how dozens of pieces of luggage belonging to air travelers ended up in a trash bin behind a Houston pet store. The store's owners discovered 60 to 70 pieces of luggage, which belonged to passengers of Continental Airlines, Lufthansa, British Airways and U.S. Airways, and contacted the Harris County Sheriff's Department, according to Houston television station KRIV.

Mary Clark, a spokeswoman for Continental, told The Associated Press that some of the luggage belonged to passengers of international flights. She didn't know if the contents of the bags were stolen.

"We're going to be investigating and the authorities are going to be investigating," she said, adding that the airline was working with the other carriers to match the bags with lost luggage claims.

The luggage was found behind a Pet City store."

Just Because It's Tuesday

Vulture Club

Recently eaten: paella
Recent annoyance: that weird alarm that goes off behind the wall of my bedroom periodically...not sure if I should be worried

My stomach bombed faster than Michael Richards at the Laugh Factory (oh, haha, I am so timely) when I saw this picture and article. This is probably why I can't get any cell phone reception in my basement apartment, and I just know that buzzards are stealing my deer carcasses out of the fridge. Beautiful, indeed!

Buzzards take over cell phone tower
Barb and I go for a walk with our three dogs every morning before sunrise. As we leave our driveway in the gray light and head toward the end of our street, our view is dominated by an enormous cell-phone tower.

I hated the thing when it was erected a few years ago, because it destroyed my illusion of rural seclusion. It’s at least three hundred feet high. I mean, it must be. It’s huge. It could be the base of a space elevator. It’s as stark and metallic as Gort the Robot in The Day the Earth Stood Still. Only a lot bigger. It wounds my blue sky and casts a shadow over my green yard.

Yet it serves a purpose, and I know it has to be somewhere. We postmodern humans, we gots to have us our cell phones.

Soon after the tower’s appearance, however, I was reminded that other residents of the world will find their own uses for man’s devices.

You see, our cell-phone tower is now the permanent nighttime home of over a hundred black-headed buzzards. Big, ugly buzzards. The kind you see playing tug-of-war with whole deer carcasses.

Every morning when Barb and I begin our walk, there they are . . . just waking up, clacking their talons on the reverberant steel and stretching their great dark wings as they prepare to leap away and soar in search of the dead.

Once, I counted a hundred and twenty of them before I decided I didn’t want to know how many there were. Sometimes the tower is black-feathered from top to bottom. Other days, there aren’t so many. But I can’t recall a morning when there were none. And those who are there always watch us as we walk by.

This must be a metaphor for something.

Barb and I always glance at each other and say the same thing:

“Look alive,” we say.

Thirty minutes later, when we return, the buzzards are leaving for their daily rounds.

They’re beautiful when they fly.

Eep!

Butt Shot

Recently eaten: chicken tbm
Recent annoyance: extracurriculars

I ran across this strange add for seasoned ammo so you can literally kill two birds with one stone. Shoot, kill, season. Brilliant. I might try this on non-fowl creatures as well (if I knew how to hunt).

Season Shot - Ammo with Flavor

No Way! Way!

Just to keep you all entertained: TOP 10 CRAZIEST SCIENCE STUFF YOU DIDN'T KNOW
You can Hypnotize Chickens

A chicken can be hypnotized, or put into a trance by holding its head down against the ground, and continuously drawing a line along the ground with a stick or a finger, starting at its beak and extending straight outward in front of the chicken. If the chicken is hypnotized in this manner, it will remain immobile for somewhere between 15 seconds to 30 minutes, continuing to stare at the line.

You can have an erection once dead

A death erection (sometimes referred to as "angel lust") is a post-mortem erection which occurs when a male individual dies vertically or face-down – the cadaver remaining in this position. During life, the pumping of blood by the heart ensures a relatively even distribution around the blood vessels of the human body. Once this mechanism has ended, only the force of gravity acts upon the blood. As with any mass, the blood settles at the lowest point of the body and causes edema or swelling to occur; the discoloration caused by this is called lividity. Sorry, no photo for this one!

Your hand can have a life of it's own

Alien hand syndrome (or Dr. Strangelove syndrome) is an unusual neurological disorder in which one of the sufferer's hands seems to take on a life of its own. AHS is best documented in cases where a person has had the two hemispheres of their brain surgically separated, a procedure sometimes used to relieve the symptoms of extreme cases of epilepsy. It also occurs in some cases after other brain surgery, strokes, or infections. The HAND is after you!

Don't laugh too much, it can kill you

Fatal hilarity is death as a result of laughter. In the third century B.C. the Greek philosopher Chrysippus died of laughter after seeing a donkey eating figs (hey, it wasn't THAT funny). On 24 March 1975 Alex Mitchell, a 50-year-old bricklayer from King's Lynn, England, literally died laughing while watching an episode of The Goodies. According to his wife, who was a witness, Mitchell was unable to stop laughing whilst watching a sketch in the episode "Kung Fu Kapers" in which Tim Brooke-Taylor, dressed as a kilted Scotsman, used a set of bagpipes to defend himself from a psychopathic black pudding in a demonstration of the Scottish martial art of "Hoots-Toot-ochaye". After twenty-five minutes of continuous laughter Mitchell finally slumped on the sofa and expired from heart failure. His widow later sent the Goodies a letter thanking them for making Mitchell's final moments so pleasant.

A weapon could make you Gay

Gay bomb is an informal name for a potential non-lethal chemical weapon, which a U.S. Air Force research laboratory speculated about producing. In one sentence of the document it was suggested that a strong aphrodisiac could be dropped on enemy troops, ideally one which would also cause "homosexual behaviour". So that's how they got Saddam!

It's true, Men can breastfeed

The phenomenon of male lactation in humans has become more common in recent years due to the use of medications that stimulate a human male's mammary glands. Male lactation is most commonly caused by hormonal treatments given to men suffering from prostate cancer. It is also possible for males (and females) to induce lactation through constant massage and simulated 'sucking' of the nipple over a long period of time (months).

Bart Simpson's Tomacco (half tomato, half tobacco) was possible

A tomacco is originally a fictional hybrid fruit that is half tomato and half tobacco, from the 1999 episode "E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)" of The Simpsons; the method used to create the tomacco in the episode is fictional. The tomacco became real when it was allegedly produced in 2003. Inspired by The Simpsons, Rob Baur of Lake Oswego, Oregon successfully grafted a tomato plant onto the roots of a tobacco plant, which was possible because both plants come from the same family.

It's OK to have a third nipple

A supernumerary nipple (also known as a third nipple) is an additional nipple occurring in mammals including humans. Often mistaken for moles, supernumerary nipples are diagnosed at a rate of 2% in females, less in males. The nipples appear along the two vertical "milk lines" which start in the armpit on each side, run down through the typical nipples and end at the groin. They are classified into eight levels of completeness from a simple patch of hair to a milk-bearing breast in miniature.

You can die on the Toilet

There are many toilet-related injuries and some toilet-related deaths throughout history and in urban legends. In young boys, one of the most common causes of genital injury is when the toilet seat falls down while using the toilet. George II of Great Britain died on the toilet on 25 October 1760 from an aortic dissection. According to Horace Walpole's memoirs, King George "rose as usual at six, and drank his chocolate; for all his actions were invariably methodic. A quarter after seven he went into a little closet. His German valet de chambre in waiting heard a noise, and running in, found the King dead on the floor."

Picking one's nose and eating it might be healthy

Mucophagy (literally mucus-eating, also referred as picking one's nose and eating it) is the consumption of the nasal mucus, boogers, and other detritus obtained from nose-picking. Some research suggests that mucophagy may be a natural and even healthy activity, which exposes the digestive system to bacteria accumulated in the mucus, thereby helping to strengthen the immune system.