Leg Up

Recently eaten: scalloped potatoes
Recent annoyance: that dollop of mayonnaise that falls on your pants exactly where the napkin doesn't cover

I thought I had it bad having to find ankle length pants my whole life. I take it back. I take it all back.

Doctors Don't Know Why My Legs Are Getting Bigger (via Digg)
Doctors can’t tell Mandy Sellars why her legs keep expanding – all they say is that hr only option is a drastic amputation. She travelled to the US for a new TV show in search of an alternative.

Never Gonna Let You Down

Recently eaten: spinach and cheese ravioli
Recent annoyance: people who clearly miss that there is one line for multiple cashiers

How to I get a PhoebeVoter...or an ObamaVoter, for that matter?

Oops, I voted for Rick Astley 961 times (LA Times)
Wasting no time in getting their man elected "Best Act Ever," the large and mostly anonymous under-culture of Rick Astley fans has already deployed a device to defraud the voting on MTV Europe's website.

The "RickVoter" is a very basic utility that simply navigates to MTV's voting page and votes for Astley...over and over and over.

MTV mostly likely didn't bother to build a big security wall to defend against this kind of ballot stuffing, but it seems clear that having left the contest open to being tinkered with, they essentially guaranteed a win for Astley.

"It's not like he'll ever give you up."

Global Trotters

Recently eaten: thai noodle soup
Recent annoyance: fruit flies...how do they get in and breed so quickly?

I, for one, am excited for the return of the perhaps less desirable cuts of meat. Coming from solid Chinese stock, my people have long enjoyed all bits and pieces of the pig, the cow, the chicken etc. These are the parts that really get to the essence the animal. The literal underbelly. Earthy, woodsy, and some slightly more pungent adjectives are appropriate descriptions of the innards. In this time of financial crisis, I'll have the tripe and laugh all the way to the bank.

Hot to Trot (The Guardian)
Only yesterday I was apologising, albeit a little unwillingly, for my obsession with pig's trotters and cheeks, and the unctuous slippery bits from inside the head. Today comes news that Waitrose is, for the first time in decades, to start stocking all those bits and pieces that usually get left behind, the ones I feared I was eating too often. This is good news on so many levels. The store's spokespeople are arguing it from a credit crunch standpoint, which is undoubtedly valid. Being generally unwanted this stuff is dirt cheap, even in Waitrose. A leading figure in the UN also argued recently that we in the west are eating too much meat, and if that's so, better that we eat as much of the animal as possible rather than just the premium cuts.

Thats Knot Fare!

Recently eaten: teriyaki steak
Recent annoyance: gray between whether two over-the-counter Claritin equals one Claritin-D

I'll admit, I get all patriotic and uppity when the French keep saying that Americans and English-speakers are ruining the world. I'll have tou know that there are plenty of Americans and English-speakers that believe that stupid people are ruining the world and proper use of language. I admit that that I am a bit of a typo criminal whenh it comes to emails and blog posts. It's not pretty, but I admit it.

I guess these two guys are on a mission. So you'd better mind your p's, q's and everything in between. ( I don't even know if that was the correct use of apostrophes)

Linguistic Pedants of the World Unite - (Guardian article)

Typo Hunt Across America - (Blog)

Take a Right at the Light

Recently eaten: tuna melt and cream soda
Recent annoyance: stealth mosquitoes

I guess of all the destructive things to do when hopped up on cocaine, making crazy 8s in an empty field isn't so bad. I was thinking that they could have dipped the guy in paint, had him run around on a huge canvas and then used the profit from selling the artwork to get him into rehab. And if any of you readers steal that idea, I'll know it was you.

Drug addled driver makes mess of farmer's field
It may look like the latest aliens to land on our planet have been drinking and driving, but these bizarre patterns, discovered in a corn field in Holland, have a much more mundane explanation.

They were made by a drug user who was attempting to escape from police in his father's car. The man had been using cocaine.

Four police cars were damaged in a desperate attempt to prevent the crazed driver from reaching public roads, but they could not save the crop from irreparable damage.

In the end, the man was captured when he crashed the car into a ditch.

Newest NASCAR track

Den'im Where It Hurts

Recently eaten: sushi lunch
Recent annoyance: local newscasting

I scoffed at JYo when she wanted to hold a Canadian tuxedo themed party. For those of you not in the know, JYo informs me that a Canadian tuxedo is a denim on denim outfit. Say a denim blazer and jeans. The denim pieces do not have to be the same wash or color. I'm going to predict a spike in sales of denim bikinis.

Denim 'best protection from sun'
As the UK heads for yet another hot summer, scientists say thick fabrics such as denim and wool offer the best protection against the sun's rays.

Traditional thinner summer fabrics such as cotton and linen are much less effective, they say.

The Swiss researchers reviewed 500 studies from around the world on how people protect their skin.

Writing in a study published online by the Lancet, they say using sunscreen is the least effective option.

UK cancer experts agreed sunscreen should be the "last line of defence".

The team from the Triemli Hospital, Zurich, Switzerland, said wearing clothes which cover the skin - plus hats and staying out of the sun - was the best method of protection.

But, as well as linen and cotton being less effective, light-coloured fabrics and those that are wet also offer low levels of protection.

Dr Stephen Lautenshlager, who led the research, told the BBC: "Of course it can't be recommended to wear woollen fabrics on the beach.

"But it should be kept in mind that not every shirt blocks the UV radiation sufficiently."

'Unacceptable solution'

Writing in the Lancet, the team led by Dr Lautenshlager, say that, while covering up and staying out of the sun may well be the best option, it is "deemed to be unacceptable in our global, outdoor society".

"Sunscreens could become the predominant mode of sun protection for various societal reasons, for example healthiness of a tan, relaxation in the sun."

They advise that when sunscreen is used the most important factor for its effectiveness is the application of a "liberal quantity".

But they warn that people tend not to apply sunscreen properly, only putting it on once they have already been exposed to the sun and applying too thin a layer.

And they add: "Sunscreens should not be abused in an attempt to increase time in the sun to a maximum."

Dr Kat Arney, Cancer Research UK's senior science information officer, said: "This study confirms what we already know.

"Our SunSmart Campaign has always said that sunscreen is the last line of defence in protecting skin against the sun's harmful rays.

"Many people do not use sunscreen properly and do not reapply it regularly and after swimming.

"Some believe sunscreen is an invisible shield that will give them carte blanche to lie out in the sun all day."

Cancer Research UK advise staying in the shade when the sun is hottest - between 11am and 3pm - plus covering up with a T-shirt, hat, and sunglasses and using a factor 15 plus sunscreen.

Samuridin' Dertay

Recently eaten: tuna noodle casserole
Recent annoyance: cold nose but hot feet when I am sleeping

Hmm, I am not sure I feel any safer having some guy out there with a sword that can appear and disappear noiselessly. Sure, he or she may have used the sword for good in this case, but if I had a sword and was about 25 cents short for the Sunday newspaper, you better believe I'd "disappear".

Mysterious Samurai Saves Police in UK
"A samurai sword wielding vigilante has come to the rescue of two Police officers when they were attacked by an armed gang in South Shields, England.

A group of men had forced their way into a house and were ransacking the place when passing plain-clothes officers were alerted by a woman inside screaming.

The criminals outnumbered them and were armed with a hammer, knives and chains and attacked the Police officers.

As one of them stabbed at a Policeman with his knife, a mysterious do-gooder appeared from nowhere and attacked him with a samurai sword.

One of the burglars began running away but was stopped by the stranger who struck him on the arm with the sword.

Two of the criminals were arrested, but in true hero style the samurai disappeared before police could speak to him.

A third man was arrested later and two more are still being hunted.

Police are especially keen to trace the man with the sword who came to the aid of their officers, and have asked for anyone with information to call them."

The Real Hans Moleman

Recently eaten: italian cold cut sub, cool ranch doritos
Recent annoyance: rental market

Hans Moleman is real! Okay, well, in the sense that this guy is old, and weird, and probably smells like peanuts. They differ in that this guy from England is burrowing tunnels under his home in England. Yeah, that's totally normal.

Mole Man of Hackney Ordered to Stop Burrowing
From the outside, the house that stands at 121 Mortimer Road in Hackney, east London, looks no different to the thousands of other decrepit old buildings scattered across the country. The roof has caved in. Three of the windows are boarded up and cracked paint peels from the wrinkled walls.

But this is no ordinary house. Since the early 1960s, the man who owns and lives inside the £1m Victorian property has been digging. No one knows how far the the network of burrows underneath 75-year-old William Lyttle's house stretch. But according to the council, which used ultrasound scanners to ascertain the extent of the problem, almost half a century of nibbling dirt with a shovel and homemade pulley has hollowed out a web of tunnels and caverns, some 8m (26ft) deep, spreading up to 20m in every direction from his house.

Their surveyors estimate that the resident known locally as the Mole Man has scooped 100 cubic metres of earth from beneath the roads and houses that surround his 20-room property.

"I often used to joke that I expect him to come tunnelling up through the kitchen floor," said Marc Beishon, who lives a few yards from Mr Lyttle's house.

His wife, Joy, sees the serious side of the issue, however. "We moved in six years ago and we've been complaining to the council ever since," she said. "Until six weeks ago they had the audacity to tell us the house was structurally sound. The whole of the opposite street lost power one day after he tapped into a 450-volt cable."

Now, after 40 years of complaints, the council has admitted Mr Lyttle's quarrying has put the neighbourhood at risk. Last week it obtained a court order to temporarily evict him in order to enable engineers to fill the holes with cement, at an estimated cost of £100,000 - for which Mr Lyttle will be billed.

"There has been movement in the ground," Phillip Wilman, a council surveyor, told Thames magistrates court. "He's fortunate a London bus is not in his front garden. The property is dangerous and liable to flooding."

A spokesman for the council said yesterday it had since offered Mr Lyttle temporary accommodation at a nearby hotel and removed 40 tonnes of excavated gravel and junk from his back yard. Structural engineers will descend into the dark labyrinth to gauge the full extent of the damage later this week.

For his part, William Lyttle denied that he has burrowed under his neighbours' homes, although he admitted to more than 40 years of "home improvements" on his own land. He told the Guardian the council's efforts to prevent him from re-entering his property breached his human rights.

"I first tried to dig a wine cellar, and then the cellar doubled, and so on. But the idea that I dug tunnels under other people's houses is rubbish. I just have a big basement. It's gone down deep enough to hit the water table - that's the lowest you can go."

His face lights up when he relates stories about holes under the towpath on Regent's canal or secret underground train networks. "I once dug a little tunnel out into the road for the cameras. But that's it," he insisted. "Tunnelling is something that should be talked about without panicking." The metre-wide openings seen by the few people who have descended down the shaft in his back garden, he said, were shadows.

Many of those who live around 121 Mortimer road beg to differ. In 2001, the pavement in front of Mr Lyttle's house collapsed, yielding a wide gash in the road. "You could see all the tunnels sprawling out all over the place inside - it was crazy," said one woman who lives nearby. "We don't wish the man any harm," said William Legg, 76, a retired civil servant. "He's a hard-working man - he just doesn't use his energy in the right way. Everyone around here just wants to see the place made safe."

But no one in the community, even those who remember when Mr Lyttle first purchased the house in the 1960s, can answer the question on everyone's lips: why does he do it? In all his years of digging, though, Mr Lyttle has never offered a straight answer.

"I don't mind the title of inventor," he said. "Inventing things that don't work is a brilliant thing, you know. People are asking you what the big secret is. And you know what? There isn't one."

Two Days Late, One Effigy Short

Recently eaten: spicy tuna roll
Recent annoyance: clothes dryers that don't get hot enough

Okay, so I have been on a little hiatus. Maybe I was in prison, maybe I was mandatory counseling, or maybe I've been watching Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman for 13 days. What's it to you? The point is that I am back with some more zany stuff.

And what could be zanier than Guy Fawkes Day? Due to jetlag and daylight savings, we missed burning some effigies and blowing up some gunpowder barrels. We'll save that jazz for Boxing Day. Those Brits are a forgiving bunch with a good sense of humor and a love of incendiaries. The US surely won't be celebrating anything like this in 400 years. That's for hot boo-dam sure.

Britain celebrates its favorite terrorist
This week, millions of people will throw a party for the man who once tried to blow the British Houses of Parliament to smithereens.

Guy Fawkes Night is celebrated every year on Nov. 5 throughout the United Kingdom and in many commonwealth countries. This year marks the 400th anniversary.

The holiday is named for Britain's most famous traitor and co-conspirator of the Gunpowder Plot, a failed attempt to destroy London's governmental palaces and assassinate everyone inside.

Religion was the driving force behind the terrorist plot, explains Mark Nicholls of St. John's College at Cambridge University.

"Fawkes belonged to a small, extremist group of Roman Catholics who wished to restore a Catholic England, and who saw no room to compromise with a ruling protestant regime," Nicholls told LiveScience. By 1605, when even the Catholic King of Spain had made peace with England, "Fawkes and his friends reasoned that they would have to act for themselves."

36 barrels of gunpowder

King James I, the royal family, and all of his protestant aristocracy were scheduled to attend the official opening of the parliament on Nov. 5. Fawkes' gang planned for months, rolling in a total of thirty-six barrels of gunpowder they placed in a rented cellar beneath the House of Lords.

"The Plott was to blowe up the kinge with all the Nobillity about him in Parlament," Fawkes would later write in his confession, a document now held by the British National Archives. Officials ultimately caught whiff of the plot on the day it was to be carried out, and Fawkes was executed for treason on January 31st, 1606, after several days of royally-sanctioned torture.

If the plotters had succeeded, England could have easily descended into civil war, Nicholls says.

"They planned to draw on discontent over a Scottish monarch to form an army and grab the throne. The explosion was, in other words, only the first blow in an attempted military coup," Nicholls explained.

Fire and fireworks

Today, Guy Fawkes Night celebrations involve fireworks displays and large bonfires, with schoolchildren decorating Guy Fawkes effigies to toss on the flames. The day is supposed to mark England's deliverance from extremism, but Nicholls guesses the political history of the event has been lost on most people.

"Now, it is more an excuse for a party," he admitted.

Guy Fawkes is even considered a kind of folk hero by some. In 2002, he was voted No. 30 by the public in a list of the "100 Greatest Britons of All Time," alongside other national heroes Winston Churchill and David Beckham.

Nicholls has an explanation for Fawkes' modern popularity. In a country known for tearing its politicians apart, Fawkes is seen as a kind of rogue revolutionist with the moxie to do what some disgruntled Britons only fantasize about.

"Guy Fawkes has become in a sense the typical English anti-hero, 'the only man to enter parliament with good intentions' as the flippant commonplace goes."

What a looker! I'm sure he's a real blast.