This Ain't Your R, Kelly Video

Recently eaten: asiago bagel
Recent annoyance: bums who pee on the bus

This "in-the-closet" story refers neither to LGBTQ issues or the latest installment of R. Kelly's music video hip-hopera. We're talking about full-on gremlins in your closet...stealing your food...and living undetected. I am kind of okay with this lady living up in my closet if she picks up around the house while I am gone.

Japanese woman caught living in man's closet (Yahoo News)
A homeless woman who sneaked into a man's house and lived undetected in his closet for a year was arrested in Japan after he became suspicious when food mysteriously began disappearing.

Police found the 58-year-old woman Thursday hiding in the top compartment of the man's closet and arrested her for trespassing, police spokesman Hiroki Itakura from southern Kasuya town said Friday.

The resident of the home installed security cameras that transmitted images to his mobile phone after becoming puzzled by food disappearing from his kitchen over the past several months.

One of the cameras captured someone moving inside his home Thursday after he had left, and he called police believing it was a burglar. However, when they arrived they found the door locked and all windows closed.

"We searched the house ... checking everywhere someone could possibly hide," Itakura said. "When we slid open the shelf closet, there she was, nervously curled up on her side."

The woman told police she had no place to live and first sneaked into the man's house about a year ago when he left it unlocked.

She had moved a mattress into the small closet space and even took showers, Itakura said, calling the woman "neat and clean."

"Closets, lies and videotape"