Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I Need Japanese Steel!

Recently eaten: rice noodles, avocado, meatballs
Recent annoyance: chapped hands

James McAdam is a regular guy. A regular guy who is tired of getting attacked by ninjas and warbeasts while he's sleeping. They get mud on the carpet, blood on the walls, and leave the stink of death that Febreze just can't get out (I checked on the back and "stink of death" is not covered). Enter, stage left, the Safe Bedside Table.

Suited for close hand-to-hand combat, the Safe Bedside Table will not defend well against:

  • catapult attacks
  • siege of any kind
  • cavalry charges
  • viking hordes
  • pestilence
  • plague
  • witchy women
  • sorcery-general
  • biological weapons
  • ants
**Safe Bedside Table and James McAdam not liable for any damage incurred during attack

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is the most ingenious piece of furniture I've ever seen. Brilliant!

Phoebe said...

Emily has seen too many episodes of Law and Order NOT to have this

Anonymous said...

So true! It would really curb my paranoia to know I could readilly defend myself against intruders!