Tuesday, September 05, 2006

MySpace Bubble

Recently eaten: lo mein, half an avocado
Recent annoyance: really hot laptop batteries (I know, I know they've been recalled)

MEMO to my so-called friend Tom, MySpace

Hey Tom,

I've been meaning to talk to you about a few things that have really been ticking me off about MySpace. I know you are really busy upgrading the servers, or fixing the bulletin boards or some thing like that, but I think you'll really want to hear this.

  • No more new music: Is there some sort of "I don't appreciate hte arts" button I can add? No more bad emo bands. No more Panic! At the Disco. And no more singer/songwriters with pictures of themselves impersonating John Mayer.
  • No more bulletin board Spam: I don't want to see any more posts that I haven't written about cool pics, or song downloads, or the newest singles site. This is severe infringement on my good name.
  • No more Asian-philes: Seriously, I am pretty sure I did NOT choose "relationship," or "dating" in my profile. I am glad you think my pics are funny, but when I see that the vast majority of your "friends" are Asian women, know that you;re barking up the wrong Bonsai tree.
  • Please ban glittery images! Unless you actually work at a discoteque, or you are a unicorn, please do not use glittery images.

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