The Cost of the Living Dead

Recently eaten: paella, pork spareribs in tangy sauce
Recent annoyance: constant inexplicable fatigue

I thought my neverending, fruitless search for affordable housing in the District was demoralizing enough. Poor employees of Northwest Airlines got a proverbial sack of doorknobs in the face when the company released a booklet on 101 ways to prepare for financial downfall.

Living in the city indeed has a very high cost, and I will contribute some of the ways I did not save money in hopes that others may heed my dire warnings.

WAYS I DID NOT SAVE MONEY

1. Using $5 bills as toilet paper instead of $20 bills -- not as cost-effective or absorbent as you might think
2. Cutting my giant diamond into many smaller diamonds to make more jewelry (Did you know that cutting a giant-ass diamond makes it less valuable? Color me surprised.)
3. Only using the private jet when I am traveling more than 2 taxi zones
4. Eating baby cows versus adult cows -- wouldn't it be less feed and care costs? I guess not.