Thursday, July 27, 2006

I Love The Foodoo That You Do So Well

Recently eaten: chicken quesadilla
Recent annoyance: exhaust fumes at 6:30 AM

I am sure that my housemates would consider some of my meals "outlawed," but the foods on this list take it to a whole new level. Especially the mellified man. P.S. I definitely recommend the book Stiff: The Secret Life of Human Cadavers.

"So Robert Gadsby wants to be a bad-ass, huh? The LA chef is serving what he calls an Outlaw Dinner at his Noe restaurant at the Omni Hotel. So what makes the dinner outlawed? Gatsby’s piling on the foie gras, the absinthe, some morel mushrooms some hemp seeds and cooking some sh*t sous vide. Problem is none of those ingredients are actually outlawed. Sure foie gras is under fire, and sous vide illegal in parts of the US but not in LA, that oasis of moral lassitude. The more illegal move on Gadsby’s part is serving the Foie Gras with Pop Rocks. Such acts of fusion should not be tolerated.

If Gadsby really wanted to be his own bad self, I’d suggest the following:

Brie De Meaux: This creamy French cheese is illegal to import, as are all cheeses made with raw milk aged less than 60 days. Brie de Meaux is a soft cows milk cheese identified by its rind, which is white with pinkish-beige mottling. Its illegality hasn’t stopped their consumption. Underground cheese lover groups form in most major cities to enjoy these cheeses. San Francisco magazine reported from this fromaguerilla front.

Ortolan: Famous for being the last meal of Francoise Mitterand, ortolan is a tiny songbird that is said to “embody the soul of France.” To prepare, one must capture the birds alive, blindfold them (or place them in a lightless box) and gorge them on millet, grapes and figs. To cook, pop the liittle guys in the oven for a couple of minutes. The trick is in the eating. You must place the whole bird in your mouth, leaving the head dangling out and place a cloth over your head. Supposedly the most delicious taste on the planet, the dish is illegal in its native France and, of course, here.

Fugu: The pufferfish is a Japanese delicacy and f-----g intense. The fish contains a poison and if not properly prepared, paralyzes the respiratory system so you are conscious the whole time you asphyxiating to death. But, word on the street, is the fish is delicious, causing a tingling sensation on the mouth and lips due to the poison.

Mellified Man: Mellified Man was a manmade dish popular in ancient Arabia. According to Mary Roach, author of Stiff, men 70-80 years old, on death’s doorstep anyway, would cease to eat food, instead partaking solely of honey. Pretty soon, they would be mellified, that is, “he excretes honey (the urine and feces are entirely honey).” Soon he dies and is placed in a honey-filled coffin which is then sealed for 100 years. At the end of the 100 years, the goop is eaten up."

1 comment:

yostinator said...

Holy Crapoly, I wrote a blog about food today too. WEIRD.