You've Been Tenderized

Recently eaten: king crab legs
Recent annoyance: a bad case of the Mondays

Check out this music video. Don't worry, it is safe for work, and there aren't any snakes regurgitating things. However, it is frighteningly tacky. You can thank me later.

Homer: It's a miracle!
John Waters: [holding the Santa remote] No, ultrasuede is a miracle. This is
just good timing.
Marge: Oh, Homie, I'm so glad you're safe. [hugs him]
Hmm, you feel softer than before.
Homer: [in pain] I've been tenderized.
--From "Homer's Phobia"