Samuel L., How Far You've Fallen

Recently eaten: baked ziti courtesy of J. Yo
Recent annoyance: bloat

Why, oh why did Samuel L. Jackson's career take a turn for the worse? I'd like to blame Bruce Willis, or maybe the Church of Scientology is in on the scam. Either way, look at Sammy L.'s upcoming projects and be afraid, be very, very afraid.

All-star cast set for 'March of the Penguins' spoof
Actor Samuel L. Jackson has signed on to narrate an upcoming spoof of the Oscar-winning documentary "March of the Penguins" with an all-star supporting voice cast, independent studio ThinkFilm said on Friday.

"Farce of the Penguins," mixing archival wildlife footage with an R-rated screenplay written and directed by comedian Bob Saget, is aimed for a late-summer theatrical release, ThinkFilm spokesman Alex Klenert said.

In press materials, ThinkFilm described "Farce of the Penguins" as the story of "one penguin's search for love while on a 70-mile (112-km) trek with his libidinous buddies on their way to a hedonistic mating ritual."

Snakes on a Plane
(Interview about said movie)
Beaks: One of those films that you’re working on right now is... well, it’s called Pacific Air 121—
Jackson: Snakes on a Plane, man!
Beaks: Exactly.
Jackson: We’re totally changing that back. That’s the only reason I took the job: I read the title.
Beaks: Snakes on a Plane! That’s everything!
Jackson: You either want to see that, or you don’t.
Beaks: And how are those snakes? Besides being on a plane?
Jackson: Some of them are aggressive, some of them are cool. They’re interesting to watch, and interesting to interact with. It depends on what kind of snake it is. One day, it took, like, four guys to bring in this 350 lb. Burmese Python. We were all like, “Where’s that goin’?” And I watched an Albino Cobra strike airplane seats the other day. I watched it from another studio. It’s actually been a fun show. But we’re taking the name back!