Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The Beer in Review

Recently eaten: salmon noodle casserole ( I was left alone to farge for three days, what do you expect?
Recent annoyance: piss poor short term memory

Some memorable moments in this last week of 2005

JANUARY

  • 2903 awakens to find they've stolen two boxes of ding dongs. Thank Lord, and proceed to eat after one helluva New Year's where no dinner was served and I almost killed a man or two.
FEBRUARY
  • Small pack of mercenary mice, probably hired by Putterman, terrorize denizens of 2903 with squealing, pooping and grisly, drawn-out deaths. Scorched earth policy is put into effect and mice are driven from adopted homeland into the pocket door of the kitchen.
  • Housewarming II Party. Emily learns true meaning of initials, Lisa gets groped, Jen kisses a beaver tail, Julie rules the pong table, and Phoebe fights with everyone.
MARCH-MAY
  • Kind of a blur. Probably had some good nights fighting, screwing and reading the news.
  • Meet 2004 nobel Peace Prize Winner. What an overachiever.
JUNE
  • Get dumped, go on crazy pills. Then go on beer-soaked rampage. Jennifer meets her soap-opera Jack. Pretend to be happy for them when I really seethe with jealous rage.
  • Start sweating
JULY
  • Attacked by small children, or midgets. Kind of hard to tell.
AUGUST
  • Eat 50 cupcakes on my birthday. Start strange obsession with Journey.
  • Move into Shaw. Start sweating Ben's Chili bowl.
  • 10 hour tea party that wouldn't quit and bourbon.
SEPTEMBER
  • Lisa's bday bar crawl starts in a totally empty Tom Tom's, ends for some of us at Irish Times with some creepy guys in the national Guard.
OCTOBER
  • Go to Thailand Sri Lanka. Avoid prison time and slippery grasp of rebel armies.
NOVEMBER
  • Dumped II
  • Rock Thanksgiving with frozen turkey and lots of dessert
DECEMBER
  • Rocket to stardom as unclassiest ladies int this town
  • Close out the year unrivaled in fighting, screwing, and reading the news.
Some other stuff happened too, but I can't remember any of it chronologically. Feel free to embellish, because this is the stuff of legends.

3 comments:

yostinator said...

Don't be jealous of Jack. He's...so...undemonstrative.

intimmydator said...

April -- harass kids going to the 930 club from the passenger side of a golden Volvo station wagon.

yostinator said...

Let's not forget this...
September-Present: Begin torid love affair with next door neighbor Daryl.