I Love It When You Call Me Big Poppa

Recently eaten: noodle soup, reese's peanut butter cup
Recent annoyance: mosquitoes

In my ongoing investigation into the decline of the nuclear family, I've delved into the role of the father. My previous post focused on wives getting the short end of the stick. But it seems as though these days women are only looking for a short stick in the end, if you know what I mean. Wink, wink.

Suprise! 1-25 Dads Not the Real Father
"Researchers pawed through a host of scientific articles published around the world from 1950 through last year. The perceived "paternal discrepancy rate," as it is called, ranges from less than 1 percent to as high as 30 percent in the various studies. Most researchers believe the rate is less than 10 percent.

The author's settled on four percent -- one in 25 families -- in a new article in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health.

The actual figure will likely become clearer as more people undergo DNA profiling and genetic testing, the researchers say. In the United States, rates of paternity testing alone more than doubled to 310,490 between 1991 and 2001, they note.

But there are other tests on the rise that could have the unintended effect of revealing a child to belong to another man.

DNA testing is becoming more common in courts, health care systems and in cases of organ transplants. Perhaps the most widespread use on the horizon is to diagnose susceptibility to hereditary diseases. Are you likely to get Alzheimer's or die from a heart attack or cancer? Medicine promises to one day let you know, should you want to.

Eventually, the researchers argue, there will be a greater need for support services and guidance on how to disclose paternal discrepancy.

"In a society where services and life decisions are increasingly influenced by genetics, our approach to [paternal discrepancy] cannot be simply to ignore this difficult issue," the authors write."

Boy, that's a real kick in the pants. You're just a drunk trying to get a liver transplant before you keel over in a gutter somewhere, and you find out that Mom was getting 'special deliveries' from the mailman. I like how they call it 'paternal discrepancy' instead of plain ol' cuckolding.


Sperm Donors Needed For TV Game Show
And for the girl that has everything: "New Dutch commercial television channel Talpa is planning to broadcast a show called I want your child and nothing else featuring a single woman who gets to choose a sperm donor to father her child, Dutch media have reported."

I want your child and nothing else," pure genius. And they say reality television is destroying our culture.