Far Above Cayuga's Waters They Ain't No Girly-Men!

Recently eaten: chicken sausage, bacon, havarti cheese on onion roll
Recent annoyance: drunks who want to talk to me about "red China" on the metro

Acoording to a doctoral candidate at Cornell University, my old alma mater, "men whose masculinity is challenged become more inclined to support war or buy an SUV." Well I'll be damned! The insecure become defensive and hostile? This is news!

Masculinity Challenged, Men Prefer War and SUVs
My days of challenging men's manhood are fuzzy at best. Do I remember the revving of gas-guzzling SUVs? Sure. Can I recall the chants of "hang 'em high" and the battle cry of the warrior over the din of the crowd at Dino's? Of course.

Cornell University researcher Robb Willer used a survey to sample undergraduates.

Participants were randomly assigned feedback that indicated their responses were either masculine of feminine.

The women had no discernable reaction to either type of feedback in a follow-up survey.

But the guys' reactions were "strongly affected," Willer said today.

"I found that if you made men more insecure about their masculinity, they displayed more homophobic attitudes, tended to support the Iraq war more and would be more willing to purchase an SUV over another type of vehicle," said Willer said. "There were no increases [in desire] for other types of cars."

Those who had their masculinity threatened also said they felt more ashamed, guilty, upset and hostile than those whose masculinity was confirmed, he said."

Conclusions:
1. Women, as you may have suspected, you are totally normal.

2. SUV manufacturers can engage in a little subliminal advertising (yes, I am aware that everyone says it doesn't work). New ads can just flash the words, "You're so gay!" I predict rioting at the nearest Humvee dealership as men clamor for the newest model and enlistment materials for the U.S. Army. Men climbing all over one another, that is so gay.