I've Come To Suck Your Blood (And Make Sweet, Sweet Love)

Recently eaten: rice noodles
Recent annoyance: snot-nosed kids

Now that I have this giant branch hickey on my neck, I'll have to explain to my parents why it's there when I go home next week. The most believable lie I could tell them is that vampires try to draft me into their evil army of the undead. I plan on sending them the below article.

Woman conned by vampires
"An Italian couple stole 50,000 euros ($79,074) from a woman in the Sicilian city of Palermo after convincing her they were vampires who would impregnate her with the son of the Anti-Christ if she did not pay them.

The man, a cabaret singer, and his girlfriend took the money from their victim over four years by selling her pills at 3000 euros ($4744) each that they said would abort the Anti-Christ's son.

Police uncovered the fraud after the 47-year-old woman's family became concerned when they discovered she had spent all her savings, local news agencies AGI and ANSA reported."

$79,074 is pretty expensive for birth control, but I suppose being impregnated by a cabaret singer is even worse.