Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Finally, A Cause I Can Get Behind!

Recently eaten: shells, mushroom soup, meatballs
Recent annoyance: getting up out of my chair during the day

Everybody poops. Little did the authors of this children's book on the #2 realize how right they were, and how revolutionary their idea would become. Pop a squat for the Middle East, y'all.

Poop for Peace 2006
"Poop is the one experience all human beings have in common. We may have varying ideas of God and politics, but the power of an impending poop is a higher calling to which every human must answer. Side by side in a public bathroom, any two human beings are stripped of their differences and reduced to their most basic essence: a pair of feet sticking out below the stall, and a pair of butt trumpets performing a greasy symphony to lament humanity's non-negotiable deference to the call of the vile.

Under the influence of Taco Bell, there is no Christian or Muslim or Jew. There are only human bodies, reacting to the complications of digestion in the same predictable and malodorous ways. Poop wields supreme power over our bodies -- when poop calls, you answer, or you face the consequences. Poop is our cruel tyrant, our fickle deity, our omnipotent oppressor -- it is a force to which every human being has no choice but to submit.

And recognizing this is the first step toward world peace."

Can't we all just get along? Let's flush war down the toilet!

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