Monday, January 30, 2006

Phobia Cornucopia IV

Recently eaten: yogurt, cheddar on wheat english muffin
Recent annoyance: constant reapplication of lip balm

Staying the course of rapidly appearing and escalating neuroses, I've been really paranoid about food lately. No, I'm not worried that someone is trying to poison me, or that genetically-modified foods are contaminating my body, or even that I am eating junk (although these are all things I will probably freak out about somewhere down the line).

What worries me the most these days is the sudden proliferation of food police everywhere. My meals and snacks are under the intense scrutiny of what I consider to be unsubstantiated and hysteria-inducing reports.

Claim #1: Fat is bad for you, but only the bad kind of fat.
Claim #2: Sugar is bad for you. Everything you eat has sugar in it, except for the stuff that doesn't taste like anything.
Claim #3: Sodium will pop your blood vessels.
Claim #4: Portion control is key, but we only take into account people with little to no metabolism and sissy appetites.

All lies.

Check out this website, because it is my new food Bible.

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