Open Letter #1

To the cockaroach hiding in the bathroom cabinet

Dear C.

I am writing to let you know that I saw you this morning. You tried to do that darty thing and avoid my sight, and then you even tried to just stay perfectly still. But you know that I saw you.

Look, it's cool if you want to hang out, but you can't really be out and about when Lisa and I are home. I'll turn a blind eye to you snacking on our shampoo, but jumping out when the lights are on: not cool.

I don't even want to know how you up there. You look pretty robust so maybe you climbed up the stairs, but that's not important now. what's important is respect. That's the key word. We'll respect that you're going to keep living in the bathroom cabinet. You have to repsect that you are nasty and we don't want to see you when the lights are on.

If you agree to this deal, please stay in the darkness of the bathroom crevices. I appreciate you taking time from your busy day to attend to this matter.

Sincerely,

Phoebe