Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Here's Looking At You 2006

Recently eaten: edamame, turkey, ham and cheddar hotpocket
Recent annoyance: plants that won't stay alive

Maybe you think 2006 couldn't be any worse than 2005. And in the end, as your life is flashing before your eyes on your deathbed or right before a piano falls on your skull, 2006 is only going to be slightly better or worse than 2005. Actually, you probably won't even have time to review 2006, I imagine you'll just skip from your first memory to every time your uncle hugged you too close and you felt uncomfortable. But let's say that you get a nanosecond on 2006 before you bite the big one.

Here are some things about 2006 compared to 2005 that I will leave to you whether they mean better or worse things for the year to come:

1. Dick Clark is going to make it. They did him all up like a Stepford Wife and he holds himself like Bob Dole but at least he's not Ryan Seacrest.
2. Gas prices will fluctuate up and then back down again. Either way you're still going to get stuck behind the a**hole with the Maryland plates who refuses to just pick a lane.
3. Face it, there will never be a new Peanuts strip in the paper again, but Tupac will probably record another album.
4. Mr. Pibb + Red vines = crazy delicious
5. Another American Idol is coming

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