Steven Seagal: Hard to Kill; Under Siege 3: Asian Stereotypes

Recently eaten: cheesey sticks, garlic hummus
Recent annoyance: the dirty sidewalk water that gets kicked up onto my pant legs when I walk in the rain

One man has done more for fake Asian stereotypes than all the Charlie Chan movies ever made: Steven Seagal. He's got the squinty eyes, the raging kung-fu spirit, and the inability to form full sentences in english. and now he's ramped it up a notch with his weird new energy drink. Before you board an Alaskan oil rig, or fight some dragons in Cleveland Park, drink this instead of puffing on some opium.

Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Energy Drink
"Are you stuck drifting through life in a state of existential confusion wandering aimlessly through the multitudes of energy products not knowing which one is the right one for you? Then look no further for the true meaning of life then Master Sensei Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Energy Drink!

Lightning Bolt, the one and only energy drink crafted by martial arts expert and herbal specialist Steven Seagal, is the only all natural 100% juice energy drink on the market. This long lasting energy elixir is made with key ingredients from all over the globe. With a healthy dosing of Tibetan Goji Berry, Asian Cordyceps, B-Vitamins, Green Tea, Yerba Mate, Ginseng, Ginkgo Biloba, Guarana, and Policosanols, Lightning Bolt will give you the strength you need to punch your adversary’s faces through plate glass windows day in and day out!

Oh and it gets better, Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt is available in 2 great juicy flavors! Cherry Charge brings you the great taste of freshly squeezed cherry juice, while for those of you that desire a slightly less sweet drink can partake of the true Asian Experience. Either way, you still get a powerful bolt of energy delivered into your body that Steven Seagal precisely blended for lasting maximum performance. So get ready to take on the world with new meaning with Steven Segal’s own Lightning Bolt Energy Drink!"

Features:
* 100% Pure Steven Seagal Juice
* Designed for intense mortal combat or any extreme situation requiring ultimate energy
* Can has Steven Seagal’s face on it (who could ask for more!?!)

Specifications:
* Size: 16oz Can
* Servings: 1.9 Per Can