North Korean Express Card: Just Don't Leave Home!

Recently eaten: teriyaki chicken, rice, spinach
Recent annoyance: Preston Michael Spears Federline

North Korea Introduces First 'Credit Card'
"North Korea announced on Friday the introduction of the Stalinist country's first credit card, but just how it would work was unclear.

"The North East Asia Bank of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea has introduced (an) IC credit card ... in order to modernise its settlement business," the official Korean Central News Agency reported.

"The IC card ensures the safety of the data registered in it. And it is impossible to counterfeit it so as to prevent money from being lost," KCNA said.

"Six kinds of currencies can be deposited in a card at a time. With this card, one can exchange money instantly without going to a money exchange booth. A card can be shared by several persons (family members, relatives, friends, etc.)," it said.

It appeared that, whatever currencies the carrier held, the card would only deliver cash in the local won currency.

There was no word of an international tie-in nor any suggestion that the card -- IC stands for integrated circuit -- could be used beyond the borders of North Korea, a police state which allows only a tiny percentage of its population to travel abroad."

North Korean citizens were still skeptical and noted some of the bizarre terms of credit on the application:

1. Late fees may apply (including but limited to: personal liberties, ability to earn a living wage, freedom from persecution and torture)
2. Citizens may choose from 3 personalized designs: Kim Il Sung portrait, Kim Jong Il portrait, nuclear warhead
3. Credit card may not, under any circumstances, be used to: exit the country; feed starving orphans; or for seed money for democratic revolution
4. Any fraudulent charges may not be questioned, in fact, no questions may be asked about anything. We know what's best for you, so just suck it up and deal.
5. Card security may be compromised for the good of the State. All hail, Kim Jong Il!