Lucky Charms: Stolen!

Recently eaten: garlic herb rice, chicken, wasabi peas
Recent annoyance: inadequate cell phone towers

In yet another blow to the Irish (as if the potato famine, religious strife, rise and eventual doom of U2, and green beer weren't demoralizing enough), a scientist has gone out of his way to disprove the legendary luck of Skibbereen.

Scientist disproves town's strange luck
"It's official -- scientists have proved that the people of the small Irish town of Skibbereen do not have unnaturally good fortune. But they do seem pretty happy anyway.

The picturesque town near Ireland's southern coast earned a reputation as the country's luckiest after a series of lottery wins.

But Professor Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in England told a meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science in Dublin that he had proved there was nothing particularly lucky about the place.

He bought 50 lottery tickets in Skibbereen and another 50 in Dublin. He didn't fare any better in the country town than in the capital, proving with statistical precision that its luck is little more than a myth.

But that didn't dampen the spirits of the locals."

Yeah, it dampen their spirits because they took old Dicky Wiseman and strung him up on a fence post. Well, not quite. But they can rest assured that leprechaun justice will be served. It is a little known fact that leprechauns, depicted as bumbling tiny beings always chasing after their pots of gold or dehydrated marshmallow shapes, are, in reality, more like the snarling, bloodthirsty leprechauns in the movies. Yeah, you can take their marshmallows and make fun of their little green hats, but they'll be waiting for you just over the rainbow.

"I will cut you!"