Phobia Cornucopia Addendum: As If the Sharks Weren't Enough!

Recently eaten: turkey melt sub, yogurt, Tokyo
Recent annoyance: opening little packets of anything that don't have a little cut for easy-opening

"Giant Balls of 'Snot' Explain Ocean Mystery"

Oh, there ain't no mystery about it, giant balls of snot have officially ruined sea-going for this girl.

"The mucus houses, or "sinkers," are produced by tadpole-like animals not much bigger than your index finger. As sinkers drop to the sea floor, small sea critters and other food particles get stuck to the mucus and end up on the bottom of the ocean." So what you're saying that these snot balls are like the flypaper for oceanic losers? All the nasty dwellers on the bottom of the food-chain stick to this 'sinker' (I will not even begin to discuss the mistake the marketing department made on the naming of this new discovery) and congregate with the rest of the wallflowers on the bottom of the ocean floor.

"The animals responsible for making sinkers are called giant larvaceans. They spin a mucus web, about a yard in diameter. They sit in the middle of the house and use it to filter food that is small enough for them to eat." Larvaceans? Filter food small enough for them to eat? Sounds remarkably familiar doesn't it?

The bigger question is whether we can trusts these so-called "scientists" anyway. take a gander at the mounting case against them:

"WWF: Japan Scientific Whaling A Sham"
How ironic that one of the most famous whales in movie history was named Keiko. "Japan should stop harpooning whales for scientific research, the World Wildlife Fund environmental group said on Monday in a report denouncing the slaughter as a cover-up for commercial sales of the mammals' meat." Next time you praise the miracle of modern science, just remember that they ate Willy. Then again, who is the World Wrestling Federation to tell us what truth is?

"Oops! Scientists Nudge Fish Closer to Extinction"
Oops, scientists destroy humankind while studying the tsetse fly. It could happen, people. These sorts of mistakes are merely harbingers of a bigger screw-up to come.

"Survey: Scientific Misbehavior is Common"
And we're not just talking about putting kool-aid into your test tubes to make your lab look totally rad, we're talking, "One-third of scientists surveyed said that within the previous three years, they'd engaged in at least one practice that would probably get them into trouble, the report said. Examples included circumventing minor aspects of rules for doing research on people and overlooking a colleague's use of flawed data or questionable interpretation of data."

Live it up while you can, scientists. I'm on to your little game.