Beef in the City

This Seems Like a Great Idea

2009-03-02T09:28:00.003-05:00

Recently eaten: baked potato
Recent annoyance: oh, forget it

I am sure that there is science behind taping magnets to a crocodile's head. However, the quote "Hey, we might as well give it a try" really doesn't help their case. Also, does this work on people?

Using magnets to repel crocodiles (via YahooNews)
Florida wildlife managers have launched an experiment to see if they can keep crocodiles from returning to residential neighborhoods by temporarily taping magnets to their heads to disrupt their "homing" ability.

Researchers at Mexico's Crocodile Museum in Chiapas reported in a biology newsletter they had some success with the method, using it to permanently relocate 20 of the reptiles since 2004.

"We said, 'Hey, we might as well give this a try," Lindsey Hord, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission's crocodile response coordinator, said on Tuesday.

"Hey, take this magnet off of my head!"
(photo by www.amcostarica.com)

I'm Not a Doctor, But I Play One Illegally on TV

2009-02-23T13:49:00.004-05:00

Recently eaten: allergy medication
Recent annoyance: the never-ending pile of papers on my desk

Maybe Chinese tv doctors need to have some better onset advice. I think ER and House have created a generation of hypochondriacs. Maybe it is possible that some tiny work burrowed into my leg and the symptoms only seem like epilepsy. You and I and House know the truth about Mr. Wormy.

Cracking down on TV fake medical experts (via Yahoo)
China has banned actors and other "non-accredited personnel" from playing medical experts in advertisements for drugs after an Internet-led witch-hunt exposed a number of bogus experts, state media reported on Monday.

A Chinese Internet user late last month exposed 12 fake experts selling medicine under various guises and names on television stations in eastern Shandong province, sparking an online uproar over false endorsements.

China's fair trade watchdog, the State Administration for Industry and Commerce (SAIC) vowed punishments after local hospitals and universities queued up to deny any affiliation to the "experts," local media reported.

Just One More

2009-02-19T08:50:00.003-05:00

Recently eaten: spinach and ricotta pizza
Recent annoyance: ran out of tupperware

Okay, just one crazy video. I promise it's good.

Why Not

2009-02-11T12:39:00.002-05:00

As If the News Wasn't Bad Enough

2009-02-05T08:42:00.003-05:00

Recently eaten: pasta bolognese
Recent annoyance: I don't think my humidifier is humid enough

Isn't it already a big enough disaster that peanut butter everywhere is being recalled? Now you're telling me that if there's an even bigger disaster, I won't be able to eat my emergency packet of peanut butter? Why has God forsaken us? George Washington Carver, help me now!

FEMA food kits may contain tainted peanut butter (via CNN)
Food kits recently distributed as part of a disaster relief effort in Kentucky and Arkansas may contain peanut butter contaminated with salmonella linked to a nationwide outbreak, the Federal Emergency Management Agency said Wednesday.

People who received the food kits should throw away the peanut butter packets, FEMA says.

"Commercial meals kits manufactured by Red Cloud Food Services Inc., under the Standing Rock label, have been provided to disaster survivors in impacted communities, and these kits may contain peanut butter which is part of the precautionary national recall underway in accordance with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration," FEMA said in a written statement.

Though the kits do not all contain the same main course, they do contain packets of peanut butter, the agency said.

"People who have received commercial meal kits are asked to inspect the kits in their possession and immediately dispose of any peanut butter packets," it said.

"Actually, it's just jelly time."

Mom, You Were Right

2009-02-03T09:02:00.002-05:00

Recently eaten: chicken cordon bleu
Recent annoyance: flurries, okay, but where's my blizzard?

I am certain that this is my Mom's worst nightmare. between leaving the stove on and leaving the door unlocked, she is probably tearing her hair out right now. On a somewhat related note, what is with the photo they posted with this article? They couldn't find one generic photo of a fire in Japan? They had to use the one of a car bomb?

Fire station burns after cooking mishap (via YahooNews)
A blaze broke out at a fire station in Japan this week after a firefighter left a cooking stove burning as crew members left the station to respond to emergency calls.

Most of the duty staffers were out on a call when their colleague, alone at the station and cooking dinner for the crew, was himself called out.

In his haste to respond to the call, he forgot to turn the stove off, said Seiji Hori, a Nagoya City Fire Department official. Ten fire trucks from other stations put out the fire, Hori added.

A Different Kind of El Niño Phenomenon

2009-01-27T12:26:00.005-05:00

Recently eaten: lemon pepper chicken
Recent annoyance: the snow won't last, I just know it

Can you really call this kid a prodigy? Does the nieghborhood brat who shoots cats with his BB gun count as a prodigy? Ok, well, maybe if he did it wearing tight pants and a cape. Just maybe.

Child matador, 11, kills six bulls (via BBC)
An 11-year-old Franco-Mexican boy has killed six young bulls in a single fight, despite moves to stop the event.

Michelito Lagravere has been bullfighting since he was four years old.

Last year several of Michelito's bullfights in France were banned after protests by animal rights groups.

This time the controversial spectacle was given a last minute go-ahead despite pressure from child protection and anti-bullfighting campaign groups.

"Child's play? Methinks not."

All Hands on the Poop Deck

2009-01-21T12:58:00.004-05:00

Recently eaten: lemon garlic roast chicken
Recent annoyance: Glad you out-of-towners enjoyed the Inauguration, but please leave town quietly and immediately

You know, they would never give a person the same benefit of the doubt: "The monkey is not considered dangerous."

Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Tampa Bay (via YahooNews)
Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Tampa Bay. Authorities have been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.

Gary Morse with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says the adult male is thought to have escaped from an unlicensed source. It was last seen in Clearwater.

The monkey is not considered dangerous.

"This is easier than throwing the stuff"

At Least My Rented Mom Loves Me

2009-01-13T14:07:00.003-05:00

Recently eaten: meatless lasagna Recent annoyance: everything seems to be going haywire in advance of the Inauguration crowds (water main breaks, traffic, suspicious vehicles etc.)

This turns my deep-seated fear that my parents have been secretly paying my friends for years on its head. What if I was paying my own friends to hang out with me and laugh at my stupid jokes? Isn't this the premise of many a teen movie where the handsome jock gets paid or accepts a bet to date the dorky girl?

And then there's this guy at Rent-a-pal.

Rent-a-friend in Japan (via BBC News)
In Japan, now back in recession, the economic situation has taken a sharp turn for the worse in recent months. But the Japanese still like to use their money to have fun, as Duncan Bartlett has been finding out.

Lola - or Rora - to give her a slightly more Japanese pronunciation - is a beauty and she knows it.

Customers pay by the hour for her company. Usually they just want to stroke her, but as a special treat for favoured clients, she will lie back in a chair, close her eyes and pose for photographs.

Lola is a Persian cat who works at the Ja La La Cafe in Tokyo's bustling Akihabara district. It is one of a growing number of Cat Cafes in the city which provide visitors with short but intimate encounters with professional pets.

A Happy Accident?

2009-01-05T13:29:00.003-05:00

Recently eaten: curried chicken
Recent annoyance: the cat that roams my hallway doesn't seem to care that i am serverly allergic to him

I don't know if this would classify as serendipitous, but falling off of a cliff while trying to jump another cliff and then breaking a world record might just be filed under luckiest bastard. I should be so lucky to survive anything with minor liver damage.

Fred Syversen and his 107 meters unintentional world record cliff jump (via Neatorama)
Fred Syversen said landing felt like an explosion and breathing was difficult. He was buried in the snow, but he didn’t panic. He knew the crew would be digging him in minutes. They found Fred unconscious, but as soon as he woke up, he was able to ski down to helicopter. He was flown to hospital where they found minor damage in his liver. He was ordered to take it easy for the next few weeks.

*expletive*

Hungry Like the Wolf Poster

2008-12-22T09:17:00.005-05:00

Recently eaten: roast chicken
Recent annoyance: static

I've got wonder if this post is a hoax. It's a pretty damn good one if it is. Heck, maybe the shepherd could pull a Ferris Bueller and just stick a dummy holding a wolf poster on a wheel barrow with a tape recording of his voice.

Shepherd controls flock with wolf poster (via Ananova)
"After visiting Qinling Wild Animal Park, on the way home I saw a group of sheep walking along the road with a man holding a picture following behind them," he said.

Du said he burst out laughing when he realised it was a picture of a wolf.

"The man was using the wolf picture to scare the sheep and drive them ahead - it was a really funny scene," he said.

"Andale, muchachos."

There Was No Encore

2008-12-19T11:49:00.004-05:00

Recently eaten: bulgoki
Recent annoyance: collating packets that are just big enough to need the high-capacity stapler when I can't find the high-capacity stapler

Isn't this how Brandon Lee died? Someone replaces the blanks in a fake gun with real bullets...or replaces your fake knife with a real one. This is even more horrifying than that episode of TNG when Riker thinks he's acting as a mental patient in a play, but then it turns out he really is a mental patient on an alien planet. Damn those aliens.

Actor slits his won throat as knife switch turns fiction into reality (The Guardian)
An actor slit his throat on stage when the prop knife for his suicide scene turned out to be a real one.

Daniel Hoevels, 30, slumped over with blood pouring from his neck while the audience broke into applause at the "special effect". Police are investigating whether the knife was a mistake or a murder plot. They are questioning the rest of the cast, and backstage hands with access to props; they will also carry out DNA tests.

Things went wrong at Vienna's Burgtheater as Hoevels' character went to "kill himself" in the final scene of Friedrich Schiller's Mary Stuart, about Mary Queen of Scots, on Saturday night

It was only when he did not get up to take a bow that anyone realised something had gone wrong.

My Avatar Ate My Homework

2008-12-12T09:38:00.002-05:00

Recently eaten: chipotle burrito
Recent annoyance: puddles

how times have changed. Back in they day people dropped out of college because they couldn't hack it, or drank themselves into oblivion. These kids today...what are they thinking?

FCC Terms World of Warcraft Leading Cause of College Dropouts (via DCist)
With the explosion of educational resources available online, one might think parents would be 100% pleased with the internet’s role in their children’s lives. But surveys show just the opposite: a late 2006 survey that showed 59% of parents think the internet has been a totally positive influence in their children’s lives-- down from 67% in 2004.

You might find it alarming that one of the top reasons for college drop-outs in the U.S. is online gaming addiction - such as World of Warcraft - which is played by 11 million individuals worldwide.

"Hey Prof, I'm too busy slaying creatures to take this prelim. Thanks for understanding."

What's a WMATA With You?

2008-12-09T08:24:00.003-05:00

Recently eaten: fajita platter from pollo sabroso
Recent annoyance: the bus smelled unsavory this morning

WMATA redesigned their website! Do I wish they had kept the trip planner and the service status box on the right hand side? Yeah. Am I embarrassed to admit that I'm digging their Mac-esque 2.0 icons? Oh, yeah. But, I have to give them props for keeping everything above the fold, even if it looks like a family of widgets threw up on the screen.

The Holiday Spirit

2008-12-05T08:59:00.003-05:00

Recently eaten: vegetable tempura
Recent annoyance: itchy pants

What says the holiday spirit more than holiday decorations on your lawn? I'd say having to fend off a knife-wielding neighbor with said lawn ornaments during the holidays.

Man uses candy cane to subdue attacker with knife (via Yahoo)
A man using a candy cane lawn ornament fended off a knife-wielding neighbor who had been attacking holiday guests at a Sacramento home. Police spokesman Sgt. Norm Leong said the man used the two-foot-tall plastic ornament to subdue the attacker until officers arrived.

He said the 49-year-old suspect became intoxicated, went over to a neighbor's home on Thanksgiving and began waving a kitchen knife at people gathered on the lawn.

"Santa pities the fool"

Leg Up

2008-12-03T08:46:00.002-05:00

Recently eaten: scalloped potatoes
Recent annoyance: that dollop of mayonnaise that falls on your pants exactly where the napkin doesn't cover

I thought I had it bad having to find ankle length pants my whole life. I take it back. I take it all back.

Doctors Don't Know Why My Legs Are Getting Bigger (via Digg)
Doctors can’t tell Mandy Sellars why her legs keep expanding – all they say is that hr only option is a drastic amputation. She travelled to the US for a new TV show in search of an alternative.

Eat the Rich

2008-11-25T08:44:00.002-05:00

Recently eaten: scallops and fettuccine
Recent annoyance: dry hands

I kinda feel bad. Man, rich people were living it up in the 80s. Back then there weren't as many millionaires. Now any rube straight out of college with some programming experience can get rich. The unwashed masses turned against the wealthy and the beautiful. No more Robin Leach. No more pulling your yacht up to an awards show. And, now, it's affecting the hangers-on. What is this world coming to.

Rich cut back on payments to mistresses (WSJ)
You know times are tough when the rich start cutting costs on their mistresses.

According to a new survey by Prince & Assoc., more than 80% of multimillionaires who had extra-marital lovers planned to cut back on their gifts and allowances. Still, only 12% of the multimillionaire cheaters said they plan to give up on their lovers altogether for financial reasons.

“Rich people are getting hit, and they’re all expressing the need to curtail unnecessary spending,” said Russ Alan Prince, president of Prince & Assoc., a wealth-research firm based in Connecticut. “Lovers are part of the same calculation.”

Now We're Really in Trouble

2008-11-13T15:08:00.003-05:00

Recently eaten: garlicky cheese tortellini
Recent annoyance:

Well, the rich folk are really in trouble now. The financial crisis has forced the sale of imperfect produce. That's how bad it is. No more row after row of shiny, beautiful apples. What was once the comestible of the poor and the also-ugly, is now being thrust into the faces of civilized folk. We're ruined.

Europe Relaxes Rules on Sale of Ugly Fruits and Vegetables (New York Times)
Misshapen fruit and vegetables won a reprieve on Wednesday from the European Union as it scrapped rules banning overly curved, extra knobbly or oddly shaped produce from supermarket shelves.

"There'll be no reprieve for you!"

Goonies Never Say Die

2008-11-06T12:24:00.002-05:00

Recently eaten: tuna melt
Recent annoyance: an orange that is sweet on one end and not the other!

Rage on, little guy!

Ch Ch Ch Changes

2008-11-05T08:58:00.002-05:00

(Courtesy of Apelad)

Don't Let the Japanese Jinx the Election

2008-11-04T08:30:00.003-05:00

Recently eaten: beef stew
Recent annoyance: pushups

Seriously, Japanese people, do not jinx this. Everyone know that the night before a possible snow day, you have to do your homework. If you don't, you'll definitely have to go to class.

Japan's Obama town sets to party for U.S. namesake (Yahoo)
Dancing, singing and playing the guitar, residents in the sleepy Japanese fishing port of Obama are readying to party for Barack Obama before Tuesday's U.S. presidential election.

Around 50 men, women and children wearing "I Love Obama" T-shirts practiced hula dancing over the weekend for the Honolulu-born Democratic candidate, hoping he will win the vote and one day visit the town as U.S. President.

Poo Poo Platter

2008-11-03T08:45:00.003-05:00

Recently eaten: tilapia
Recent annoyance: my next door neighbor moves all of his trash outside of his apartment door at midnight every weekend

I don't really know if there is anything clever or witty to say about this incident. Except that people in Australia take football very seriously.

Pub row erupts after feces found in ice cream (Yahoo)
A bitter row has broken out between one of Sydney's largest tourist pubs and a family of five who accused chefs of serving human excrement in their gelato after they complained about noise during a football match.

State government food minister Ian Macdonald confirmed on Wednesday that frozen fecal matter had been found in a serving of chocolate gelato offered to placate pub patron Steve Whyte and his wife Jessica, who became "violently ill" after eating it.

Death Wish

2008-10-30T08:40:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: pasta bolognese
Recent annoyance: that weird alien sound coming from Dupont Circle. is it construction, or are they blasting supersonic noise from the metro?

This guy needs a new events coordinator. He shoots at a gas pump and when it doesn't explode, he drives into two cars. Somehow reading a book on the weekend seems so tame in comparison.

Man accused of repeatedly firing at gasoline pump (Yahoo)
A man who police said fired gun shots into a gasoline pump on Saturday morning was expected to be charged with three felonies when he's released from a local hospital.

Police said the man went to the Sunoco gas station on New Haven Road and fired a shotgun at a gas pump several times while customers stood nearby.

Luckily, nobody was injured and the pump did not explode.

Web of Lies

2008-10-27T09:04:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: stuffed shells
Recent annoyance: no rain in the forecast, yet, now it's raining

Was this bird sick? How does a giant bird like that get caught in the delicate threads of a spiderweb? This post is just in time to really freak me out for Halloween. Don't ask questions, just avoid walking into spiderwebs.

Spider eats bird (The Cairns Post)
These amazing images of a mammoth spider devouring a bird were taken in the backyard of an Atherton property, west of Cairns.

And the images, which are being circulated via email worldwide, are real, according to wildlife experts.

Biden My Time

2008-10-22T10:17:00.001-04:00

Recently eaten: brisket sandwich
Recent annoyance: is it even possible to eat all the apples gotten from apple-picking?

Good to know as Election Day approaches.

Joe Biden wants you to gird your loins (Slate)
At a Seattle fundraiser on Sunday, Democratic vice-presidential nominee Joe Biden warned supporters that, if elected, Barack Obama will be tested by "an international crisis" early on in his first term. He also advised the crowd to "gird your loins," since the tasks ahead for the next president will be "like cleaning the Augean stables, man." What's the best way to follow Biden's advice?

Too Fast, Too Simian

2008-10-21T10:27:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: crispy pork boudin balls
Recent annoyance: the people who walk their dogs outside my window at midnight every night

Classic story: Japanese chimp learn to ride a segway. Rides like the Devil.

Gibb Me the BeeGees, or Gibb Me Death

2008-10-17T09:00:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: sweet & salty clif bar
Recent annoyance: to the guy in the wheelchair going westbound in the middle turn lane of Columbia Road: please stop

The rhythm may be good for CPR students, but their falsetto seems to have really put a kink in the dog-training class next door. By the way, excellent use of a reissue.

'Stayin' Alive' has near-perfect rhythm to help jump-start heart (CNN)
"Stayin' Alive" might be more true to its name than the Bee Gees ever could have guessed: At 103 beats per minute, the old disco song has almost the perfect rhythm to help jump-start a stopped heart.

In a small but intriguing study from the University of Illinois medical school, doctors and students maintained close to the ideal number of chest compressions doing CPR while listening to the catchy, sung-in-falsetto tune from the 1977 movie "Saturday Night Fever."

The American Heart Association recommends 100 chest compressions per minute, far more than most people realize, study author Dr. David Matlock of the school's Peoria, Illinois, campus said Thursday.

And while CPR can triple cardiac arrest survival rates when properly performed, many people hesitate to do it because they're not sure about keeping the proper rhythm, Matlock said.

He found that "Stayin' Alive," which has a way of getting stuck in your head anyway, can help with that.

"Come closer, child. The secret to life itself is in my beard."

Cut That Horse Off

2008-10-15T08:32:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: fried oysters
Recent annoyance: that deep, deep sleep when fall comes that won't let you go in the morning.

Friends don't let friends drive a horse and buggy drunk. Especially if the horse is drunk, too.

Man killed in Romania by drunken horse
Traffic police tested a horse for being over the alcohol limit after it went out of control and killed an elderly man in the southwestern Romanian county of Gorj, the Ananova news agency said on Tuesday.

Police made the unusual request after an 86-year-old-man died from injuries sustained when he was hit by a cart, which was being pulled by a horse that "looked out of control."

Ion Iliuta, head of the local veterinary authority, said: "We never had such a request before. Maybe to see what kind of blood it is, yes, but to find out if the animal was drunk, never."

The blood test came back positive.

Calling Dr. Zaius

2008-10-10T08:41:00.000-04:00

Recently eaten: turkey sandwich
Recent annoyance: boring Friday

This is exactly the kind of stuff that will get us in trouble when the monkeys and apes take over the planet.

No business like monkey business at Japan tavern (Reuters)
Good help proving hard to find? A Japanese tavern is relying on monkey business to keep customers happy.

The Kayabukiya tavern, a traditional "sake house" north of Tokyo employs a pair of Japanese macaque called Yat-chan and Fuku-chan to serve patrons.

The younger of the two monkeys, Fuku-chan, hands out customers a hot towel to clean their hands before they order their drinks, as is the custom in Japan.

Never Gonna Let You Down

2008-10-07T10:16:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: spinach and cheese ravioli
Recent annoyance: people who clearly miss that there is one line for multiple cashiers

How to I get a PhoebeVoter...or an ObamaVoter, for that matter?

Oops, I voted for Rick Astley 961 times (LA Times)
Wasting no time in getting their man elected "Best Act Ever," the large and mostly anonymous under-culture of Rick Astley fans has already deployed a device to defraud the voting on MTV Europe's website.

The "RickVoter" is a very basic utility that simply navigates to MTV's voting page and votes for Astley...over and over and over.

MTV mostly likely didn't bother to build a big security wall to defend against this kind of ballot stuffing, but it seems clear that having left the contest open to being tinkered with, they essentially guaranteed a win for Astley.

"It's not like he'll ever give you up."

There Goes the Neighborhood...And Oktoberfest

2008-10-03T08:34:00.004-04:00

Recently eaten: burger
Recent annoyance: if it can be Googled, it can be done

There are multiple things in this article that are very disturbing.

The boar population has risen by 320%: If someone told you that America's killer bee population or brain-eating zombie population rose by 320%, you might be a little concerned. It's almost as bad as what's happening in Burma when the bamboo flower explodes every 50 years.
If you read on, the article also says that the wild boars are digging up graveyards on a daily basis. Okay, hold the phone. Wild boars are digging up dead bodies to eat. That's where I draw the line. I'll sacrifice Bobo, the family cat, but once you mess with gramps, you mess with me.
Why don't they just have a big ol' pig roast at Oktoberfest? There will be thousands of drunken foreigners looking for a greasy nibble.

Wild boars wreak havoc in Germany (via YahooNews) Wild boars are breeding at a huge rate in Germany and wreaking greater havoc than in any other European country by destroying crops, killing pets and even attacking people, according to a new study.

Findings by the Hanover-based Institute of Wildlife Research show that Germany's boar population rose by 320 percent last year because of better access to food and bigger litters of young.

"God help us all, I was never educated on family planning or given access to contraceptives"

One Pot, No Hassle

2008-10-02T12:46:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: green grapes
Recent annoyance: I can't find that $5 off coupon that I was saving, and was actually going to use

I had no idea the humble rice cooker is being used in so many homes around the world, but I like it.

The Steamy Way to Dinner (NYTimes.com)
SHIRLEY CHAN, a Chinese-American Web site designer, was born in Hong Kong, lives in Brooklyn, and has never cooked a pot of rice in her life. “One billion Chinese people cannot be wrong about rice,” she said: virtually every household has at least a basic rice cooker. As a child, it was her chore before each meal to wash the rice, measure it into the machine, and press the button. “It always, always comes out perfect,” she said. “Until I came here, I never even knew rice could burn.”

Is Mulder on Speed Dial?

2008-09-30T08:36:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: peanut butter and jelly
Recent annoyance: everything can be Googled

I'm pretty sure this was an episode of X-Files, or at least some part of a subplot in the movie. This is how all the episodes started out, "Location: Iranian tanker off the east coast of Africa." And then there's people shouting in another language and then they all end up dead the next day. Pan to shot of mysterious cargo container with strange black ooze coming from the cracks. Fade to creepy theme song.

Mysterious cargo on Iranian tanker kills Somali pirates (via BoingBoing)
Somali pirates who hijacked an Iranian shipping vessel said to be carrying either "minerals" or "small arms and chemical weapons" have, en masse, fallen ill with a mysterious disease. The head of the East African Seafarers' Assistance Programme has been threatened with a lawsuit by the Iranian government for issuing spooky statements to the press to the effect that there was some kind of evil "chemicals" on the ship.

What Are You Gonna Do Now, Godzilla?

2008-09-25T08:42:00.005-04:00

Recently eaten: back on the oatmeal, bleh
Recent annoyance: I didn't even know I had a gland in the middle of my neck!

This guy may be older than the earth, but "old man strength" has long been revered in Asian culture. It's always the bearded old master who kicks a-- all over the place. Enjoy this fantastic video about Japan's new prime minister. Too bad that with great old man strength also comes great senility.

Japan's badass new prime minister (BoingBoing)

You're Not the Only Ones

2008-09-24T08:43:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: turkey meatball soup
Recent annoyance: wonderful clipboard-wielding volunteers of Dupont Circle hear this: I donate online so I can avoid interacting with people. Please leave me to my misanthropy.

The lamb-eating eagles aren't just upsetting Scottish farmers. I, myself, have been fighting a pterodactyl reintroduction program in North America. Note to self: only visit Scotland in protective bubble suit.

Lamb-eating eagles upset Scottish farmers (via YahooNews)
Sheep farmers in remote northwest Scotland are furious about a sea eagle reintroduction programme, saying the huge birds of prey are damaging their livelihoods by killing 200 lambs in the past year.

The Scottish Crofting Foundation said some crofts, small farms producing mainly lamb or beef, had seen lamb numbers fall over the past five years because of the sea eagles' diet.

Global Trotters

2008-09-22T12:48:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: thai noodle soup
Recent annoyance: fruit flies...how do they get in and breed so quickly?

I, for one, am excited for the return of the perhaps less desirable cuts of meat. Coming from solid Chinese stock, my people have long enjoyed all bits and pieces of the pig, the cow, the chicken etc. These are the parts that really get to the essence the animal. The literal underbelly. Earthy, woodsy, and some slightly more pungent adjectives are appropriate descriptions of the innards. In this time of financial crisis, I'll have the tripe and laugh all the way to the bank.

Hot to Trot (The Guardian)
Only yesterday I was apologising, albeit a little unwillingly, for my obsession with pig's trotters and cheeks, and the unctuous slippery bits from inside the head. Today comes news that Waitrose is, for the first time in decades, to start stocking all those bits and pieces that usually get left behind, the ones I feared I was eating too often. This is good news on so many levels. The store's spokespeople are arguing it from a credit crunch standpoint, which is undoubtedly valid. Being generally unwanted this stuff is dirt cheap, even in Waitrose. A leading figure in the UN also argued recently that we in the west are eating too much meat, and if that's so, better that we eat as much of the animal as possible rather than just the premium cuts.

Those French Are Never Happy

2008-09-12T08:35:00.004-04:00

Recently eaten: couscous
Recent annoyance: motorcades that disrupt the 42 bus line, quite possibly the most reliable bus line in the District

On a Friday, let us ponder the 35-hour work week

(Via CuteOverload)

Kill Or Killer Bee Killed

2008-09-11T08:49:00.005-04:00

Recently eaten: tandoori chicken skewers
Recent annoyance:

This is like one of those terrible campy killer bee movies from the 70's coming to life. As I recall, the only way to beat them to is carry around a giant flamethrower or to drive really fast in a brown El Camino. Maybe all the honeybees in North America went to China and got angry...

Bee swarm kills six in car smash and sting (via YahooNews)
Three people were stung to death after a truck carrying dozens of bee hives overturned in northeast China and three more were killed on the road as they tried to steer clear of the swarm, newspapers said on Thursday.

The bee-hive truck collided with a farm vehicle on Wednesday and overturned near Changchun, the capital of Jilin province, the China Daily said.

" I am so helpful and seductive with my accent. I am the Nasonex bee!"

Smashy Smashy Makes The World Go Round

2008-09-10T08:14:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: crab dip
Recent annoyance: the non-retirement retirement - if you;re going to retire, then just stay retired (ahem, I am talking to you Lance Armstrong and Jay-Z)

People, people, let's not panic about a giant atom collider creating a black hole and swallowing up the Earth. This is clearly just a ruse to distract us from the Japanese controlling the weather.

Scientists cheer atom smasher success (CNN)
Scientists Wednesday applauded as one of the most ambitious experiments ever conceived got successfully underway, with protons being fired around a 27-kilometer (17-mile) tunnel deep beneath the border of France and Switzerland in an attempt to unlock the secrets of the universe.

The Large Hadron Collider -- a $9 billion particle accelerator designed to simulate conditions of the Big Bang that created the physical Universe -- was switched on at 0732 GMT to cheers and applause from experts gathered to witness the event.

While observers were left nonplussed by the anticlimactic flashing dots on a TV screen that signalled the machine's successful test run, among teams of scientists involved around the world there were jubilant celebrations and popping champagne corks.

In the coming months, the collider is expected to begin smashing particles into each other by sending two beams of protons around the tunnel in opposite directions.

Skeptics, who claim that the experiment could lead to the creation of a black hole capable of swallowing the planet, failed in a legal bid to halt the project at CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research.

"It says here: Insert tab A into slot B"

Book'em, Danno

2008-09-08T09:55:00.004-04:00

Recently eaten: homemade mushroom pizza
Recent annoyance: is the Columbia Heights Giant supermarket ever NOT crowded?

Wouldn't these titles also qualify the books for oddest book subject matter? Or is there a similarly-themed, but sanely titled book about Greek postal routes? These are the questions that define our lives.

Greek postmen beat zombies to win oddest book title (via YahooNews)
"Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers" benefited from a late surge in public support to win the title on Friday of oddest book title of the past 30 years, The Bookseller magazine said.

The book -- a comprehensive record of Greek postal routes by Derek Willan -- grabbed 13 percent of the 1,000 international public votes cast to chose the oddest title from the winners of the annual competition that began in 1978.

It beat "People Who Don't Know They're Dead" and "How To Avoid Huge Ships" into second and third places with 11 and 10 percent respectively.

"The posties pulled off a real shock here. The pre-tournament favourite was the prize's first ever recipient - "Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice," said Horace Bent, custodian of the annual Diagram Prize.

"Right from the off, it was Gary Leon Hill's "People Who Don't Know They're Dead" that set the pace. It topped the polls for over three weeks," he added.

Another early favourite "How To Bombproof Your Horse" also failed to feature in the final count.

The prize was dreamed up initially at the 1978 Frankfurt Book Fair as a way of avoiding boredom. It has since become an annual star. This year's winner was "If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs."

Putin It On For the Cameras

2008-09-03T08:36:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: lamb chop
Recent annoyance: a random alarm in my neighbor's apartment was going off for hours

In other news, President Bush saved 2 secret service agents from a squirrel on the White House lawn. And from the international desk, Putin says, "The tiger was a formidable foe, and delicious."

Putin Saves TV Crew from Siberian Tiger (via YahooNews)
Prime Minister Vladimir Putin was feted by Russian media on Sunday for saving a television crew from an attack by a Siberian tiger in the wilds of the Far East.

Putin, taking a break from lambasting the West over Georgia, apparently saved the crew while on a trip to a national park to see how researchers monitor the tigers in the wild.

Just as Putin was arriving with a group of wildlife specialists to see a trapped Amur tiger, it escaped and ran towards a nearby camera crew, the country's main television station said. Putin quickly shot the beast and sedated it with a tranquilizer gun.

"Vladimir Putin not only managed to see the giant predator up close but also saved our television crew too," a presenter on Rossiya television said at the start of the main evening news.

Sleep Tight

2008-08-28T08:13:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: steak and onion pita
Recent annoyance: metro bus ate my $10

So the bus ate $10 this morning. At least I don't have one of these gnawing on my arm.

Goblin shark (New Scientist)

Cheers and Jeers

2008-08-27T08:42:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: mole
Recent annoyance: will the mosquitoes find me wherever I go?

From my recent trip to Mexico...

Cheers to the people in the security line who let my sweaty self through so I could catch my flight back home.

Jeers to Mexicana Airlines for popping my suitcase out last even though the giant green ticket on it said "Immediate Connection."

Cheers to the very friendly Oaxacans who pointed me in the right direction every time, just blocks from my actual destination.

Jeers to the dude in the zocalo who wanted me to check him out at his job at the Textile Museum.

Cheers to the startled hotel clerk who acted not surprised when we forced the automatic door of the Holiday Open at 1 AM and asked for 2 business cards.

Jeers to the 2 strange interlopers who bum rushed our cooking class and then volunteered to cook every dish.

Cheers to my chicken mole. delish.

Barbarians!

2008-08-12T08:16:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: chopped salad
Recent annoyance: the gooey white-out booger on the end of the brush before you get to the usable stuff

The Brits have gone to great lengths to discredit the Beijing Olympics. They've got a lot to live up to, but the latest expose from China really has the Brits fuming. Long a tolerant nation of crooked teeth, yellow enamel, and generally horrifying orthodontia, the British take personal offense to the story revealed below. This is clearly a toothist country.

Olympic: Child singer revealed as fake (Guardian)
When nine-year-old Lin Miaoke launched into Ode to the Motherland at the Olympic opening ceremony, she became an instant star.

"Tiny singer wins heart of nation," China Daily sighed; "Little girl sings, impresses the world," gushed another headline, perhaps in reference to Lin's appearance on the front of the New York Times. Countless articles lauded the girl in the red dress who "lent her voice" to the occasion.

But now it emerges that Lin lent someone else's voice, following high-level discussions - which included a member of the Politburo - on the relative photogenicity of small children.

The recording to which Lin mouthed along on Friday was by the even younger Yang Peiyi. It seems that Yang's uneven teeth, while unremarkable in a seven-year-old, were considered potentially damaging to China's international image.

Somebody get the girl a retainer!

I'll Take Two

2008-08-08T09:39:00.004-04:00

Recently eaten: cornflake tilapia
Recent annoyance: cut on my tongue

While this garden accessory might keep unsavory people out, it may also attract a completely different set of weirdos. I am going to wait for the 2nd generation version that also waters my lawn.

Animatronic zombie that rises out of your garden and chases people, dragging its entrails (BoingBoing)
Remote controlled zombie is powered by (2) 12-volt batteries and runs on (4) DC motors. It groans, screams, & talks with numerous sounds via digital sound and onboard amp & speaker. Includes battery charger.

"Why do you put me out only at Halloween?"

Crime of the Century

2008-08-07T11:35:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: egg white and turkey breakfast burrito
Recent annoyance: where did the plague of mosquitoes come from?

Mayberry was a fictitious place. a sleepy little town where bumbling police wouldn't add up to dead bodies or the complete takeover of organized crime syndicates. No, it kind of resembled another place called Japan. A place where plugging your rice cooker into someone else's outlet gets you a face burning with shame and a funny little cartoon re-enactment.

Electricity Theft in Japan (Japan Probe via BoingBoing)

The Truth Hurts Sometimes

2008-08-06T10:33:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: salad with walnuts and blue cheese
Recent annoyance: if the gorillas were hiding, what else could be squirreled away?

Sometimes the truth is hard to swallow, especially when you spent all your money in a slot machine. Come on buddy, at least try out the $5 blackjack table. I predict the next 911 phone call to be about the empty shrimp plate at the buffet.

Man tell 911 slot machine stole his money (Yahoo News)
second Florida man has been arrested on charges of making false 911 calls in as many days. An arrest report says 47-year-old Carlos Gutierrez was at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino early Monday and called 911 to say the slot machine stole his money. The report says Gutierrez left the casino to place a second 911 call to say the same thing.

Are You There, Mulder and Scully? It's Me, Phoebe

2008-07-30T08:48:00.004-04:00

Recently eaten: white anchovies and chicken liver pate
Recent annoyance: metro stations that aren't air-conditioned (U Street-Cardozo, I'm referring to you!)

I admit that I am huge X-Files nerd. It's not even really an admission. That would imply that I've been hiding this predilection for all things spooky and paranormal. Or, at least for heavily photoshopped images.

Frank Spotnitz on the X-Files Essentials (Fortean Times)

"Gullible" is Written on the Ceiling

2008-07-29T12:43:00.004-04:00

Recently eaten: yogurt past it's expiration date
Recent annoyance: trash chute is too small

Why, oh why, didn't they get those crazy glasses for watching solar eclipses? Why has God forsaken us?

Dozen blinded in India looking for Virgin Mary (Telegraph UK)
At least 50 people have lost their sight after staring at the sun hoping to see an image of the Virgin Mary, according to reports.

Alarmed health authorities in India's Kottayam district have set up a sign dispelling rumours of a miraculous image in the sky and warning of the dangers of looking into direct sunlight.

Forty-eight cases of sight-loss, allegedly caused by photochemical burns on the retina, have been recorded at St Joseph's ENT and Eye hospital in the region since Friday.

Despite warnings, and the potentially harmful effects of their actions, believers are allegedly still flocking to a hotelier's house in Erumeli near where the divine image is said to have appeared.

"All our patients have similar history and symptoms… They have developed photochemical, not thermal, burns after continuously gazing at the sun," Dr Annamma James Isaac, the hospital's ophthalmologist said.

"Totally radical, and righteous, dude."

Will You Zom-Be my Valentine?

2008-07-25T09:10:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: charcuterie
Recent annoyance: why don't they make meat-flavored oatmeal?

I back this. I think it's better separate the brain-eating from the non-brain-eating, especially in the dating pool. I am pretty sure I have dated some brainless zombie victims. This tragedy could have been avoided if the zombies had just used ZombieHarmony

ZombieHarmony (Digg)

Oh, The Humidity!

2008-07-23T09:11:00.001-04:00

I Am Rubber, You Are Glue...No, Wait

2008-07-23T08:55:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: pork belly
Recent annoyance: if everyone books the early morning appointments, how am I supposed to get one?

Why isn't it ever some bow-tie-wearing, O'Reilly-watching crazy that tries stuff like this? You're giving us a bad name, buddy.

Climate protester tries to glue himself to Brown (Yahoo News)
A climate change protester unsuccessfully tried to superglue himself to Prime Minister Gordon Brown at an event in the leader's residence, a government spokesman said Tuesday.

Dan Glass, a 24-year-old member of Plane Stupid, which campaigns against airport expansion, tried to attach himself to Brown's suit as he was about to shake hands with the premier at his Downing Street residence.

Gah!

2008-07-14T20:30:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: chicken enchiladas
Recent annoyance: one moldy cherry in the whole bunch

What are they teaching kids in school these days? This is clearly not the proper use of the word "amazing." I would accept: terrifying, apocalyptic, homicidal, or just plain creepy. Amazing? not so much.

Amazing bird formation

We all know what happened in the movie "The Birds"

Smartest Bat Ever

2008-07-09T08:15:00.004-04:00

Recently eaten: scrod - junk fish of the sea
Recent annoyance: outfit looks good standing up, but not sitting down

I can't decide if the bat is way smarter than a dolphin, or this chick is hard-of-feeling. And, isn't there some risk of getting rabies from hatching a baby bat in your undergarments? It seems unsanitary and probably means that this girl is a member of a vampire army. It's science.

Teenager finds baby bat in her bra
Abbie Hawkins, a hotel receptionist, thought her mobile phone was ringing when she felt vibrations coming from her clothes.

But she later discovered the tiny creature tucked away in the padded pocket of her underwear.

As staff and colleagues crowded around, Miss Hawkins, 19, produced the frightened bat, which was the size of her hand.

Most Obvious Headline Award

2008-07-08T07:58:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: cornbread stuffing
Recent annoyance: why don't they just make pants in "shorty midget" size for the rest of us who don' have legs growing out of our necks?

This is sort of like reading the headline, "Frenchie snickers at Americans on holiday in Paris," or "Dane goes to barber and gets emo bangs."

Spaniard gored in San Fermin festival bull run (Yahoo News)
he running of the bulls through Pamplona on Tuesday left one man gored and four slightly injured during the annual San Fermin festival, the Spanish Red Cross said.

Hundreds of people and six fighting bulls, accompanied by steer, sprinted the half-mile (850-meter) route through cobblestone streets in just over two minutes, a relatively clean and fast run by San Fermin standards.

One Spaniard was gored in the thigh and treated at a city hospital, but was not in serious condition, the Red Cross said. Four other Spaniards were treated for bruises.

The first run on Monday took over four minutes and injured 13 people. None of them were gored.

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead

2008-06-30T09:05:00.004-04:00

Recently eaten: meatballs
Recent annoyance: that distinct feeling at 2 AM that you've accidentally slept through the next day

The Chinese know how to get free peanuts and drinks.

Passengers sleep on plane after flight cancelled (Yahoo News)
Fifty-two passengers on a Chinese airliner whose flight was cancelled due to bad weather refused to disembark and instead spent the night onboard before finally leaving to their destination, local media said on Friday. The passengers boarded for their 8 p.m. (1:00 a.m. EDT) flight from Beijing to the eastern coastal city of Yantai, but after more than three hours of sitting on the tarmac, the airline cancelled the flight, the Beijing Morning Post said.

"Most of the about 200 passengers disembarked to complete flight transfer procedures, but a Mrs. Shi was one of 52 passengers who refused to get off," the newspaper said.

"I'll have the fish"

Oh, The Shame

2008-06-24T08:20:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: satay skewers
Recent annoyance:

This is embarrassing for all of us. Chinese cuisine is one of the great world cuisines and they have boiled it down to kung pao chicken? Will they also have their mascot General Tso running around?

China makes kung pao chicken official for Olympics (Yahoo News)
It's official. Hungry foreign hordes craving a fix of diced chicken fried with chili and peanuts during the Beijing Olympics will be able to shout "kung pao chicken!" and have some hope of getting just that.

As it readies for an influx of visitors for the August Games, the Chinese capital has offered restaurants an official English translation of local dishes whose exotic names and alarming translations can leave foreign visitors frustrated and famished.

General Tso says "my face burns with shame."

Skintern Season

2008-06-23T13:14:00.001-04:00

Recently eaten: chicken yogurt (not what you think)
Recent annoyance: the lightning bug that got into my apartment and made me think I was seeing things

Summer intern season is now in full swing. Front Page and Hawk and Dove are enjoying new found business. But, really, people, let's get the facts straight.

How not to be that intern (DCist)

"Ye olde intern"

This is Just Like Jurassic Park

2008-06-17T08:48:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: chow mein
Recent annoyance: No new episodes of Lost

They said the dinosaurs would all be girls and unable to breed. But, as the wise Jeff Goldblum points out, nature will find a way. These pigs weren't so lucky.

5 escaped monkeys captured in central Florida (Local6.com)
Five of the 15 monkeys that escaped a facility in Polk County have been captured, officials said.

Lex Salisbury, the director of the preserve, said Monday that the capture of the remaining 10 monkeys is imminent because trappers know where they are living.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission said the monkeys apparently escaped their island home by swimming across a pond -- something they're not supposed to be able to do.

The monkeys escaped April 19 at the soon-to-be-open Safari Wild preserve.

Officials said the social but calm Patas monkeys are of no threat to people.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says the search will continue until the remaining monkeys are captured.

To Add Insult to Injury

2008-06-16T08:30:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: bulgogi
Recent annoyance: wrenched back

Man, imagine if you got demoted at work and had to be renamed "Good-for-Nothing." Or maybe you'd just have to wear a dunce cap.

Pluto gets a new name: plutoid (Yahoo)
Pluto, demoted from planet status in 2006, got a consolation prize on Wednesday -- it and other dwarf planets like it will be called plutoids.

The International Astronomical Union said in a statement that its executive committee meeting in Oslo, Norway, decided on the term.

Plutoids will be defined as celestial bodies in orbit around the Sun farther away than Neptune. They must have near-spherical shape, and must not have swept up other, smaller objects in their orbits, said the organization, which names newly discovered planets and other celestial bodies.

The two known and named plutoids are Pluto and Eris, but astronomers expect to find more.

Another dwarf planet, Ceres, does not merit the plutoid designation because it is in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter.

Hungry Hungry Monkeys

2008-06-11T08:13:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: pesto
Recent annoyance: the irony of my ceiling leak being caused by my air conditioning in overdrive

Fools. Firecrackers only scare away evil spirits and rampaging elephants. The only thing that can get rid of zealous monkeys, are murderous monkeys. Someone needs to train a mercenary army of monkeys to chase the hungry monkeys out. I certainly don't want to be around for the mess after that battle.

Hungry monkeys plunder Indonesian crops (CNN)
Bands of starving monkeys have destroyed crops around Indonesia's famous Borobudur Buddhist temple in search of food their habitat can no longer supply.

Long-tailed macaque monkeys have a reputation for knowing how to find food according to experts.

Dedi Rinyadi works for the Natural Resources Conservation Agency. Rinyadi says thousands of the long-tailed macaques went searching for sustenance Wednesday in several villages of Central Java province.

Rinyadi says the primate population has exploded due to dwindling predators, but drought has led to food shortages.

The monkeys have stolen crops and destroyed about 400 hectares (990 acres) of farmland -- including around the 7th-century Buddhist temple complex outside the sultanate of Yogyakarta.

Distressed farmers are using firecrackers and air-rifles to chase them from their villages.

"Go ahead, make my day."

Melon-choly

2008-06-06T09:01:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: dry roasted almonds
Recent annoyance: dripping ceiling

My mom used to tell me that if I swallowed the seeds from a watermelon, a watermelon plant would grow out the top of my head. This doesn't have anything to do with the melon story below, just that my mom used to tell me terrifying stories.

Japanese melon sells for more than $6,000 (CNN)
There's nothing better than a sweet, juicy watermelon on a hot summer's day, right?

A marine products dealer in Japan plunked down a record $6,125 for this melon.

But what if you had to pay six grand for it?

A marine products dealer in Japan plunked down a record $6,125 (¥650,000) Friday for a black Densuke watermelon -- grown only on the northern Japanese island of Hokkaido.

Premium melons regularly go for eye-popping amounts there. Only three years ago, someone shelled out about $3,000 for one.

The one that sold Friday had dark green skin -- nearly black -- making it look more like a bowling ball than a fruit.

The nearly 18-pound (8 kg) watermelon, grown only on Hokkaido, was one of 68 sold as part of the season's initial harvest this year and is one of only a few thousand available each year.

As for the buyer, he said he wanted to support local agriculture, according to an official with a local cooperative.

Preparation H-ott

2008-06-04T08:23:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: tunafish
Recent annoyance: brown bananas

For those of you who aren't into the club scene like I am, you don't have to go to the gym to get those chiseled pecs...just slather on some Preparation H instead. not sure what the side effects are, but they're probably hilarious and terrifying.

Preparation H: "It gets you shredded" (Consumerist)

Not Exactly the X-Files Movie

2008-06-04T08:12:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: fuji apple
Recent annoyance: scabs

I seriously think this is straight out of an episode of the X-Files. The guy that's been abducted multiple times finally gets some evidence of his abductors. Or, maybe he's just a loony who is very crafty. Or, maybe this is an outtake from M. Night Shymalan's new film?
(The re-enactment video on Larry King is killer stuff)

Alien video: puppet or real? (Denver Post)
A few minutes of grainy, black and white video show a shadowy creature with big eyes peeping over a windowsill. But does it show a puppet or an alien from outer space?

The video, purportedly capturing proof of alien life, was released this morning during a press conference at the Tivoli Student Union on the Auraria campus in downtown Denver.

Over the course of three minutes or so, the footage shows a white creature with a balloon-shaped head that keeps popping up and down in a windowsill that was 8 feet above ground. The face was white, with large black eyes that seemed to blink.

"If it was a puppet, it would be a very elaborate and sophisticated puppet," said Alejandro Rojas, education director of MUFON, the Mutual UFO Network,who spoke at the press conference.

Rojas said the video was taken on July 17, 2003, in Nebraska by Stan Tiger Romanek, who set up the camera because he thought peeping Toms had been looking into his house at his two teenage daughters. Romanek did not appear at the news conference.

The creature would slowly pop its head up and peer through the window then drop suddenly down, apparently trying to avoid detection. It raised its head up about a half dozen times. The alien's other body parts were not visible.

It was unclear whether the creature was taller than 8 feet and was crouching to avoid detection or whether it was standing on something. It also was difficult, because of the faintness of the object, to tell whether it was three dimensional.

Romanek, who moved to Colorado after the recording, claims to have had more than 100 encounters with aliens, Rojas said.

"I'm an alien, deal with it"

This Ain't Your R, Kelly Video

2008-06-02T08:18:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: asiago bagel
Recent annoyance: bums who pee on the bus

This "in-the-closet" story refers neither to LGBTQ issues or the latest installment of R. Kelly's music video hip-hopera. We're talking about full-on gremlins in your closet...stealing your food...and living undetected. I am kind of okay with this lady living up in my closet if she picks up around the house while I am gone.

Japanese woman caught living in man's closet (Yahoo News)
A homeless woman who sneaked into a man's house and lived undetected in his closet for a year was arrested in Japan after he became suspicious when food mysteriously began disappearing.

Police found the 58-year-old woman Thursday hiding in the top compartment of the man's closet and arrested her for trespassing, police spokesman Hiroki Itakura from southern Kasuya town said Friday.

The resident of the home installed security cameras that transmitted images to his mobile phone after becoming puzzled by food disappearing from his kitchen over the past several months.

One of the cameras captured someone moving inside his home Thursday after he had left, and he called police believing it was a burglar. However, when they arrived they found the door locked and all windows closed.

"We searched the house ... checking everywhere someone could possibly hide," Itakura said. "When we slid open the shelf closet, there she was, nervously curled up on her side."

The woman told police she had no place to live and first sneaked into the man's house about a year ago when he left it unlocked.

She had moved a mattress into the small closet space and even took showers, Itakura said, calling the woman "neat and clean."

"Closets, lies and videotape"

No Love For Shopping Pirates

2008-05-27T08:21:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: pesto tortellini
Recent annoyance: lukewarm AC

It's a good thing I didn't join that WAKA kickball team, Bazooka Joe's.

Man arrested in NYC Macy's for carrying sword
A man who was carrying a rusted pirate-style sword through Macy's flagship store in Manhattan is facing charges of criminal possession of a weapon.

Police say 29-year-old Lawrence Jackson was brandishing the curved sword while visiting Macy's Herald Square store Sunday with his girlfriend.

He told police he was carrying the sword because he is a member of a kickball team whose players often wear pirate-themed costumes. He maintains he was on his way to a game when he was arrested.

"...and, booty, YAR!"

I Think He's Learned his Lesson

2008-05-22T08:15:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: italian eggplant pizza
Recent annoyance: back to oatmeal for breakfast

Mexican jail really gets a PR boost from Blacky's experience. I'll go to Mexican jail if I get to gobble food from a bucket. Although, I am sure the donkey was put into solitary for his own safety. There are a lot of weirdos in Mexican prison.

Mexican donkey freed from jail after assault
A Mexican donkey has been freed from jail after doing time for assault and battery. The Televisa network on Wednesday showed "Blacky" gobbling food from a bucket after spending three days in a jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances.

"Community service sucks!"

The Work of Baroness Schraeder, I'm Sure

2008-05-20T08:22:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: poh pia
Recent annoyance: rain on the day I actually have to leave the office

There hasn't been this much commotion since the Nazis figured out that the Von Trapps had escaped before their encore.

Sound of Music plans hit bum note
The hills are alive ... with the sound of protest.

Plans to run a hotel out of a former home of the von Trapp family immortalized in the blockbuster hit movie "The Sound of Music" have triggered fierce resistance from neighbors, who fear tourists will tie up traffic and make a nuisance of themselves.

"We will fight this with all means at our disposal," said Andreas Braunbruck, who lives near the Villa Trapp in a neighborhood of Salzburg already teeming with "Sound of Music" tourists seeking a glimpse of the house.

"Buses and cars are constantly in the street in front of our homes as it is," he told Austrian television on Sunday.

The 125-year-old pale yellow villa, trimmed in white and black, is perched on the outskirts of Salzburg, where the 1965 film starring Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer was made.

Well That's A Relief

2008-05-19T08:29:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: korean bbq
Recent annoyance: DNS

Good lord, I don't know which is more terrifying: some lizard swamp creature attacking the van, who may or may not be mythical, or a real, live dog.

DNA tests exonerate 'Lizard Man' in van attack
DNA testing has shown an attack on a family van some blamed on the legendary Lizard Man appears to have been actually done by a domestic dog. Something chewed up the front fender of Bob and Dixie Rawson's van in February. Bite marks were left on the wheel wells and blood was found on the vehicle.

The Item of Sumter reported that a veterinary lab in California tested the blood and found it came from a dog.

But Bob Rawson isn't sure, saying it would have to be one big dog.

Lee County Sheriff E.J. Melvin isn't convinced either. He thinks it was a coyote or wolf.

Lizard Man became a phenomenon in the area 20 years ago when people began reporting a tall, big-eyed swamp creature. Authorities never figured out exactly what prompted the sightings.

"Nothing to see here...except a lizard man."
Thanks to Loren Coleman for the photo from his new book Mysterious America (NY: Simon and Schuster, 2007)

Manbabies

2008-05-13T08:29:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: halibut
Recent annoyance: javascript

I stole this off BoingBoing but it's so darn creepy and funny at the same time, I couldn't help myself.

Manbabies

Just Like on LOST

2008-05-09T09:31:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: chicken quesadilla
Recent annoyance: drippy umbrellas on the bus

i had a hard enough time watching a surgery performed on ABC's LOST a couple of weeks ago, I can't even imagine what this guy went through. Also, let us not think on what would happen if this guy woke up and couldn't pass a kidney stone. Nope, not thinking about it.

Omaha man uses steak knife to perform self-tracheotomy

"That's not a knife...THIS is a knife!"

Beerly Departed

2008-05-05T08:20:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: red snapper
Recent annoyance: people who do not move to the back of the bus (for space efficiency, not racially-motivated reasons)

Not only will this guy be buried in a beer can, he will be buried in a PBR can coffin. I hope his grieving widow doesn't try to "shotgun" the coffin. People get upset when the body shoots out.

Illinois man orders custom beer-can coffin

Money for Nothing

2008-05-01T08:38:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: eggplant pizza
Recent annoyance: that gripping fear in the middle fo the night that you've overslept or never set your alarm

What a bargain!

130-million year old poop sells for $960

And, if you really want to get down to business, you can rate people's poo here. Probably NSFW...or for anyone who doesn't like to see poop.

For Jg.

Hump Day

2008-04-30T08:59:00.000-04:00

It's only Wednesday...

Monkey to My Heart

2008-04-28T12:40:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: spanish omelette
Recent annoyance: oatmeal crust in my mug

I might as start a new tag called "monkeyschoosingstuff" because this is the second monkey-selection-related article I've posted in a week. Apparently, this is a monkey matchmaker. Does it work if he's bribed with bananas? Is he just looking for the picture the most resembles another monkey in heat? Who knows. You can ask the Washington Post.

Date Lab

We Have Our Ways

2008-04-24T08:12:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: chicken pesto melt
Recent annoyance: books-a-million probably doesn't have a million books

I am proud to call myself a Masshole today after reading this article. The Yankees-Red Sox rivalry continues and escalates into large scale construction projects. We're bitter, we're underhanded, and we'll do anything to sabotage the Yankees. Score one for Red Sox voodoo.

$84,100 Bid for Sox Jersey

Monkey See, Monkey Do Join Capitalism

2008-04-22T08:16:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: ravioli in vodka sauce
Recent annoyance: itchy tag

This crazy website sells some weird foodstuffs from all over the place. They probably just take the crocodile curry off the Thai supermarket shelf, slap a sterile looking black and white label on it and call it "edible." I definitely think the Edible Monkey-Picked Tea would be my monkey pick of the week.

The other stuff

"I sure hope the monkey washed his hands first."

Sucker for Cats

2008-04-18T08:45:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: boiled egg
Recent annoyance: cling wrap that is too clingy

There Is A God

2008-04-17T08:52:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: turkey burrito
Recent annoyance: AC is blowing HOT air and that's NOT okay

The Grilled Cheese Invitational is a time-honored event going back centuries to the first grilled cheese created in the Middle Ages during castle sieges. Okay, so the pedigree isn't that good. Does it matter? do they use irons to make grilled cheese like in the movie Benny & Joon? It wouldn't be worthwhile unless they had some crazy contraption to make the sandwiches.

Thats Knot Fare!

2008-04-14T13:38:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: teriyaki steak
Recent annoyance: gray between whether two over-the-counter Claritin equals one Claritin-D

I'll admit, I get all patriotic and uppity when the French keep saying that Americans and English-speakers are ruining the world. I'll have tou know that there are plenty of Americans and English-speakers that believe that stupid people are ruining the world and proper use of language. I admit that that I am a bit of a typo criminal whenh it comes to emails and blog posts. It's not pretty, but I admit it.

I guess these two guys are on a mission. So you'd better mind your p's, q's and everything in between. ( I don't even know if that was the correct use of apostrophes)

Linguistic Pedants of the World Unite - (Guardian article)

Typo Hunt Across America - (Blog)

Harumph

2008-04-10T13:18:00.000-04:00

A Fitting End

2008-04-10T11:07:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: stir fry
Recent annoyance: lockjaw

I know most people have some grand idea of what they're going to put on their tombstone (see Royal Tenenbaum's epitaph), but I kind of like this macabre little Hello Kitty. It says I am dead, but also was very cute in life.

Hello Kitty tombstones in Japan

Clearly

2008-04-09T08:34:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: turkey club
Recent annoyance:

This guy's house was hit by five meteorites and now he thinks aliens are targeting him. I'd like to think that aliens could do more than just throw some stones at some guy's house in Bosnia. Or maybe they're just those mischievous, yet lovable rapscallion aliens.

Man 'targeted' by aliens

Mork says: "I come in peace"

Meatwater

2008-04-07T08:46:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: beef noodle soup
Recent annoyance: severe leakage from nose and eyes ( I look like a cocker spaniel)

I don't know if this Meatwater is for real, or maybe it's an April Fool's joke. But, the pages look pretty legit. I think the most beguiling flavor is the Hungarian Gulash. I don't even know what that is. I thought that's where they sent prisoners to break rocks, or something.

The Tiniest Daredevil

2008-04-04T08:22:00.003-04:00

Recently eaten: spaghetti and portabello mushrooms
Recent annoyance: am I coming or going?

I don't know how they get those little uniforms on the monkey. Heck, I don't even care. I just want to know if these little guys can jump over a tiny bus.

Little monkeys ride tiny motorcycles

Fresh Ink

2008-04-02T09:21:00.001-04:00

Recently eaten: meatless tacos
Recent annoyance: something has up and died in the walls at work

Metro No-No

2008-04-01T12:26:00.004-04:00

Recently eaten: vodka penne
Recent annoyance: unplugging my speakers only to find out that the volume on my computer was on extra high

Washington has a reputation for being pretty conservative and uptight. It's all about schmoozing the politicos, who you know, or who you think you know, or who you think you can get to. Luckily, Metro isn't going to try and upend that image. They're allowing Hollywood to come and shoot in our picturesque (?) Metro system as long as they follow the rules. That means things like no eating or drinking, no running, and no shooting anybody. Jesus, maybe Metro should control everything above ground too and institute their martial law in Columbia Heights.

Rail to Reel
Metro Opens Its Doors To Hollywood, as Long as It's Not During Rush Hour

It Matched My Shoes

2008-03-31T12:49:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: pecan-crusted trout
Recent annoyance: misty rain

What does one do with a stolen crocodile? Do you keep it alive as a pet? Or maybe you eat it? I think that alligator meat is available online these days for a reasonable price.

Crocodile stolen from Norway aquarium
A thief walked unnoticed out of a Norwegian aquarium carrying a crocodile at the weekend and now risks losing a finger or two, the head of the aquarium said on Monday.

"I think whoever did this knew what they were doing," Bergen aquarium director Kees Oscar Ekeli told Reuters, suggesting the young crocodile was smuggled out in a bag during the busiest hours on Saturday.

The stolen reptile, named "Taggen" (Spike), is a 70 centimetres (2.3 feet) long smooth-fronted caiman also known as Schneider's dwarf caiman (Paleosuchus Trigonatus).

Taggen eats "a good mix of fish and meat" and can grow to be about 2.5 metres (8.2 feet) long. "It has a solid bite. Considering it is not bigger than it is, you could lose a few fingers, but no vital organs," Ekeli said.

It is normally found in much warmer habitats in South America and is one of the world's smallest species of crocodile.

Ekeli feared that the four-year-old would have poor chances of surviving outside its habitat in the aquarium, and said it would probably die from stress.

The theft was immediately reported to the police. "We have offered a reward of 25,000 Norwegian crowns (2,500 pounds) to anyone who can give us a tip that leads to finding the crocodile," Ekeli said.

Pour One Out For My Homie Egg McMuffin Inventor Dude

2008-03-27T07:53:00.001-04:00

Recently eaten: omelette (fake eggs)
Recent annoyance: pollen

Nooooo!

Egg McMuffin Inventor Dies at 89
A Southern California McDonald's restaurants official says Egg McMuffin inventor Herb Peterson has died in Santa Barbara at age 89.
art.peterson.ap.jpg

Egg McMuffin creator Herb Peterson with his breakfast idea in 1997.

Monte Fraker, vice president of operations for McDonald's restaurants in Santa Barbara, said Peterson died peacefully at his home Tuesday.

Peterson came up with idea for the signature McDonald's breakfast item in 1972.

He began his career with McDonald's as vice president of the company's advertising firm, D'Arcy Advertising, in Chicago. He wrote McDonald's first national advertising slogan, "Where Quality Starts Fresh Every Day," and eventually became a franchisee.

Isn't That Convenient?

2008-03-25T08:37:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: cinnamon streudel bread
Recent annoyance: forgetfulness

Well, doesn't that work out neatly for you, Dr. Olaf?

Falling asleep on job can improve memory, study shows
Hamburg, Germany - Falling asleep on the job for a few minutes can improve your memory and mental performance, according to a team of German researchers. Dr. Olaf Lahl at the University of Dusseldorf, Germany, has shown that simply falling asleep does more than refresh the brain - it can improve recall and mental efficiency.

In fact, a six-minute nap can have the same effect as nighttime sleep on memory.

Dr. Lahl's team asked students to memorize a list of vocabulary and tested their ability to recall the list after an hour of playing solitaire.

Volunteers were asked to remember a list of 30 words. They were then given an hour's break before the memory test. During the break, some volunteers were allowed to nap for six minutes, while others had to stay awake.

The researchers found that those who had been allowed to nap displayed "superior recall" in the memory test compared to those who stayed awake.

The researchers said this was the first time that a very brief sleep has been shown to improve memory.

"To our knowledge, this demonstrates for the first time that an ultra-brief sleep episode provides an effective memory enhancement," Lahl he writes in the Journal of Sleep Research.

His researchers found that it was possible that falling asleep triggered a process in the brain that continued regardless of how long the person stayed asleep.

"It seems much more is happening during the initialization of sleep than we once thought," Dr. Lahl says.

"Maybe much of sleep's functional aspects are accomplished at its very beginning," writes in the article.

I Accept You, My New Robot Overlords

2008-03-21T08:05:00.000-04:00

And, just because it's Friday...

Cookie Monster

2008-03-21T07:59:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: bean salad
Recent annoyance: sheet wrinkles on my face

Good Lord, NO!

Tornado Cooks Up Cookie Crisis For Atlanta
The tornado that moved through downtown Atlanta left a group of local Girl Scouts holding the bag for tens of thousands of Girl Scout cookies.

About 36,000 boxes of Thin Mints, Tagalongs and Samoas were stacked at the Georgia World Congress Center when the storm hit last weekend.

The Scouts were planning to sell their famous cookies at the Atlanta Home Show. It was going to be the first time the Scouts tried such a big sale in one place.

"We were going to sell Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, then the tornado hit," said Scout leader Valarie Culbreath. "Thank God none of our cookies were destroyed."

The cookies were spared, but with the Home Show canceled because of damage to the convention center the Scouts find themselves scrambling to sell their cookie collection.

The moved the cookies to the Atlanta Volunteer Service Center in DeKalb County and hope to sell them during a weeklong cookie drive there.

There's even a pathetic picture of a little girl

Who Let the Killer Robot Out?

2008-03-19T08:09:00.001-04:00

Recently eaten: sesame chicken
Recent annoyance: I need a belt

This story isn't about what I thought it was. Here I was thinking that someone had unleashed an army of killer robots on the unwitting Australian populace as a test run for the larger continents of Asia, Europe and north America. Nope, just some old dude with a death wish.

Killer robot shoots man dead on driveway
An 81-year-old man has shot himself dead with an elaborate suicide robot built using plans downloaded from the internet.

The Gold Coast man, who lived alone, left notes of his plans and thoughts as he struggled to come to terms with demands by interstate relatives that he move out his home and into care.

He spent hours searching the internet for a way to kill himself, downloaded what he needed and then built a complex machine that would remotely fire a gun.

He set the device up in his driveway about 7am yesterday, placed himself in front of it and set it in motion.

His notes explained that he chose the driveway as he knew there were tradesmen working next door who would find his body. The plan worked as the workmen heard the gunshots and ran to investigate.

The machine was attached to a .22 semi-automatic pistol loaded with four bullets.

It was able to fire multiple shots into the man's head after he activated it.

Light A Match!

2008-03-18T08:49:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: oysters
Recent annoyance: the distinct and nagging feeling that I have forgotten to pay an web bill

Kind of makes me wonder if this started innocently as some little quarrel. woman says "no, I won't get up off the toilet and you can't make me." So the guy says, "fine, stay there for all I care." And, two years later, the stubbornest woman alive...

Woman sits on boyfriend's toilet for 2 years

NESS CITY, Kan. - Deputies said a woman in western Kansas sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years, and they're investigating whether she was mistreated.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said a man called his office last month to report that something was wrong with his girlfriend.

Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman’s skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

“We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.

“She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body,” Whipple said. “It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself.”

He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

“And her reply would be, ‘Maybe tomorrow,”’ Whipple said. “According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.”

I Can Smell Your Fear

2008-03-10T13:04:00.002-04:00

Recently eaten: turkey burger with red pepper relish
Recent annoyance: if it's so bad for me, why does it taste so good?

What's next? A fire alarm that slaps you in the face, pours a bucket of cold water on you, and gives you a wet willy?

Horseradish fire alarm
A new type of fire alarm in Japan has been developed using the pungent smell of horseradish.

The device is drawing attention as a new way to warn people with hearing disabilities.

Medical equipment manufacturers have developed a technology to extract components of the strong odor of horseradish, seal them inside a can and spray them out.

Shiga University of Medical Science Hospital cooperated with the makers and carried out experiments to see if the horseradish smell can wake up people from a deep sleep.

Fourteen people, including those with hearing disabilities, took part in the experiments.

In the experiment, 13 out of the 14 subjects woke up in less than two minutes after the smell reached their noses.

The people with hearing disabilities were particularly quick to wake up, with one person emerging from sleep in just 10 seconds.

Assistant professor Makoto Imai at Shiga University of Medical Science says the experiment was useful to ensure that the new device allows those with hearing disabilities to escape during an emergency.

The makers intend to put the fire alarm on the market in two years.

Milshakes for Old Men

2008-03-07T12:14:00.002-05:00

Recently eaten: filet mignon ( I need to get my iron somewhere)
Recent annoyance: that gunk in my keyboard

Truly a classic.

I'm Ghost Like Swayze

2008-03-06T08:58:00.003-05:00

Recently eaten: mushroom ravioli and pesto
Recent annoyance: british spelling

Sure, there was Point Break and To Wong Foo, but does Patrick Swayze really deserve this? Didn't he survive a plane crash that one time?

Doctor optimistic about Swayze's cancer

I will tame this like a wild cat. Rroooowr!

As Clear As Day

2008-03-05T08:31:00.002-05:00

Recently eaten: plato zapoteca from mixtec
Recent annoyance: no screens on my windows

So this cricket player won't face any charges related to him knocking over a streaker than ran straight for him during a match. The best explanation for this in the article was, "Andrew was in the zone and was severely threatened." Why do these things only happen in European sports leagues?

Symonds to face no action for knocking over streaker

Admit it, the butt is funny.

Take a Bike!

2008-02-28T08:58:00.002-05:00

Recently eaten: spicy crunchy yellowtail roll
Recent annoyance: who are the crazies that leave piles of bread or oatmeal out on the sidewalks in the morning?

I normally don't report on local DC news, but I have to say this is one of the better ideas I have seen in this city. I'd also challenge the District to create some pedestrian or bike-only areas. Seems the only places that cars can't go is near the White House. I'm sick of dodging diplomat plates in Dupont Circle, only allow through traffic under the Circle and cars can go around. Harumph!

SmartBike Program comes to the Penn Quarter

In My Own Backyard!

2008-02-26T09:18:00.002-05:00

Recently eaten: shepherd's pie
Recent annoyance: cholesterol-free mayo with canola oil *ick*

This is terrifying not only because it is a predatory bird, but also because this is not too far from where I live. If something should happen to me, take a close look at this beak.

I witnessed a killing in the Shaw neighborhood